ROGER MOORE, RIP

Sir Roger Moore, the actor who played James Bond’s character in seven films and was thought to be as one of the most iconic on-screen Bonds, died on May 24 of cancer. He was 89.

Sir Roger, who succeeded Sean Connery as Bond after the George Lazenby hiccup, brought a distinct touch to the character — he infused his portrayal of the famous spy with a tinge of humour.

Moonraker and Live and Let Die, in which he starred as the spy, are considered to be two of the most watched Bond films. But in Pakistan Sir Roger was also well known for his portrayal of Simon Templar in The Saint TV series. May he rest in peace!

LSA CONUNDRUM

So, the 16th Lux Style Awards were televised on May 20. A few questions immediately sprang to mind: what was their target audience with such an English-heavy script and why was the stage so far from the seating arrangement?

It seemed as if the organisers were afraid of the front-row guests, who actually appeared as harmless as caged pigeons caught on the suspicion of espionage because they laughed at lines which had as much humour in them as there is honesty in politics. And why was the choreography so pedestrian?

When Mahira Khan was doing her inane rap act, the dancers in the background had a deer-in-the-headlights look. Let’s not even talk about Atif Aslam’s dance moves — the poor chap does not have two left feet but he is no Michael Flatley. Also, who was the director of the show blowing kisses to and why was it being shown?

Man, I can’t wait to see the 17th edition of the LSAs!

SHE AIN’T RETIRED

Thank you, Tina Sani for making it crystal clear for your fans that you are still an important part of our music fraternity and haven’t called it quits!

The back-story to this act of gratitude is that for the past few months the music industry was abuzz with the rumour that the singer par excellence will not sing anymore — on-stage or in the recording studio. Not true.

She has vehemently denied such reports, saying she, over the years, has become picky and only performs at events that she feels like performing at. That is so heartening to know because ‘quality’ (of both voice and singing technique) is something that the current crop of vocalists in the country lack big time. All they have is fancy music videos to make up for their vocal shortcomings.

SHENAZ IN HOLLYWOOD AS A PAKISTANI

Remember the effervescent Shenaz Treasurywala, the girl who used to be a VJ on an Indian music channel and then went on to do an important role in the movie Delhi Belly? She has now shifted to the US where she’s a cast member of the Netflix show, Brown Nation.

The latest on her is that she will be seen playing the lead part of a Pakistani girl in Kumail Nanjiani’s film The Big Sick. The film is based on the subject of racism that South Asians face in America.

The rest of the cast includes Anupam Kher (who plays her father-in-law), Holly Hunter and Ray Romano. Hmm … I’m guessing Aupam K is playing an Indian old man extremely fond of his Pakistani daughter-in-law.

NEW-AGE MAULA JATT AND NOORI NATH

To be honest, cricketers Wasim Akram and Shoaib Akhtar are no novices when it comes to the world of television as they have faced the camera on a number of occasions. So what’s the fuss about their Maula Jatt-Noori Nath avatars and Jai-Veeru-like motorcycle ride for a TV game show airing in Ramazan?

Here’s something interesting. News is that the two former fast bowlers have chosen their characters according to the moolah each is charging for the project. You know, Jatt is the hero, Nath is the villain. Veeru is a senior pro, Jai is the reliable companion. Do the math.

SUICIDE, THREAT, WHAT ELSE?

Some of us see the razzmatazz associated with showbiz and think it’s all about luxury, fun and a hassle-free life. Nothing could be farther from truth than that.

Recently, India’s film industry received the shocking news of a Marathi film producer Atul Tapkir’s suicide. He had left a note on his Facebook page in which he cited two reasons for killing himself: his wife and in-laws’ behaviour and the financial loss that his films had suffered.

While the film industry was trying to come to terms with his death, iconic actor Rajinikanth received a threat from the underworld. He is busy these days playing the lead character in an upcoming movie Thalaiver 161 which is said to be based on the life of a don, Haji Mastaan.

Rajinikanth has received a letter from Mastaan’s son threatening him with dire consequences if his father was shown in a bad light in the film. It’s not easy be an artist these days!

CRUSADER AGAINST THE TEXT MESSAGE

My oh my! The word bizarre doesn’t even begin to describe what happened in Austin, Texas during a 3D show of Guardians of the Galaxy Vol 2.

A 37-year-old man called Brandon Vezmar was watching the film with his date (a woman whose name the media has chosen not to reveal). Ten minutes into the film, the woman took out her cell phone and began texting him. Brandon V tried to stop her from doing so in order to watch the movie with undivided attention. Not to be. She kept messaging intermittently and then left the theatre way before the end of the film. The man had to get a cab to reach home. Livid, he has now filed a case against her in a small claims court seeking reimbursement of the money he spent on buying her (film) ticket. Not just that, in the petition he has termed her attitude ‘a threat to civilised society.’

Wow! If this started happening in Pakistan, there would be a huge pile of petitions. But we fully support him.

THAT’S SWIFT FOR YOU

Finally, Taylor Swift has been able to put behind her the Tom Hiddleston episode in her life. The pop star is dating a 28-year-old British actor Joe Alwyn.

There’s a lot of speculation about how the two met. Well, according to one insider, Joe A has worked with the singer’s good friend Emma Stone in a movie titled The Favourite. He is also chummy with model Gigi Hadid, another close friend of Taylor S.

An insider says the Emma-Gigi pair set up a meeting between them and both instantly hit it off. The rest is history … told rather Swiftly.

Published in Dawn, ICON, May 28th, 2017