Three-year-old Muaz clasped his arms tightly around his father’s legs, refusing to let go. Despite the efforts of his parents, the school gatekeeper, an ayah and the Montessori teacher, he refused to enter the school premises, crying and screaming in utter distress. Unable to understand his fear of going to school his parents say they did not expect that Muaz would be unable to adjust to his new surroundings. In fact, as parents they believed that they had done everything to prepare their young son for school — bought him a new bag, a lunchbox branded with his favourite cartoon character, a new uniform and colour pencils. “We were at our wits’ end,” recalls Maria, the young boy’s mother. “We anticipated that there might be a few initial hiccups but after that Muaz would adjust to his new routine. We certainly did not imagine a problem of this magnitude. The school even allowed me to stay in his class for a few days but he was never comfortable and held on to me till it seemed to disrupt everyone.”

When Maria talked to her son about school and his classmates, she discovered Muaz was frightened of a boy in his class who unfortunately has a large, brown birthmark near his lips. “This is what scared him on his first day at school so he was terrified of being near his classmate. Once I discovered that this was the issue I was able to talk to him. I made him shake hands with the other boy and now Muaz is rapidly adjusting to school,” Maria explains.

Fear of going to school is not an uncommon phenomenon nor is it isolated to young children. In younger children such fear manifests itself as clinginess, suffering nightmares, and having tantrums when going to school. Older children react by becoming moody, complaining of frequent headaches, stomach aches, diarrhoea, shivering and stuttering as well as reporting a reduction in appetite. And while it is normal for children to be apprehensive about starting school or adapting to a new environment, some do experience bouts of anxiety or fear that appears out of proportion to most parents. In Muaz’s case it turned out be an irrational fear. Many cases are not as straightforward and so easily overcome. Most importantly finding the root cause and then taking steps to eradicate the problem and helping the child overcome his or her fear and anxiety results in a win-win for all.


Fear of school among children is a common occurrence that can manifest for many reasons including bullying and teasing


How an enabling school environment builds self-confidence

Often parents themselves are unwittingly responsible for inculcating the fear of attending school, according to teachers. They sow the seeds of fear in the minds of young children with regular doses of threats and warnings in case a child is known to be mischievous. When parents threaten their children to make them behave, often telling them that they will be left behind in school, if they don’t listen, or that the teacher will punish them, children are naturally rattled. Some parents pre-empt bullying in school so tell their children to report back to them in case they are being hassled. Instead of portraying school as offering exciting opportunities to make friends, learn, play and create, it is projected as a strict environment where teachers are perceived as dreadful monsters. This doesn’t help children adjust to a new environment of learning, rather it impacts, especially, those who are perhaps pampered or over protected by their parents. This kind of parental behaviour leaves them unable to cope with other children and adults in school without the presence of their parents.

Another reason that could unsettle children in a school environment is the unchecked use of smartphones and other gadgets at home according to education experts. Because phone addiction is an established phenomenon among children having access to digital technology 24/7, they tend to show symptoms of acute anxiety, discomfort and nervousness when kept away from phones or computers during the school day.

For their part, most parents say that children are reluctant to go to school when they fear the overall environment. It could be because the administration is unable to keep teasing and bullying under check or that the school is known for awarding harsh punishments — often physical beatings — for small misdemeanours. Strict teachers failing to understand students who require extra attention do not help alleviate this fear among young children.

Older children dread going to school when they lack self-confidence or are uncomfortable participating in activities such as debates, sport and most extracurricular activities that involve speaking in front of others. Others show signs of anxiety when they are ill-prepared for tests or have unfinished projects and assignments and know they will incur the wrath of teachers. For some children they suffer from a sense of anxiety that they could be scolded, ridiculed and punished. This manifests itself in physical symptoms such as vomiting, shivering, body aches, etc.

What triggers school phobia

In recent years, the infiltration of drugs and guns and the inability of administrations to tackle hooliganism and gangs have also resulted in children feeling insecure and unsafe. Also, psychologists working with children say the pressure to succeed triggers school phobia. Parents’ expectations of their children are rising — and the bar has increased for younger kids, some of whom are unable to meet these expectations when it comes to studying and acing exams. It is no wonder they complain of being sick on school days. “Parents appear anxious about their child’s performance in school even if the child is as young as three years old,” says Farzana Zaidi, co-ordinator one of the branches of the Islamabad-based Elementary Montessori System. “Some parents are obsessed about how well their children are doing in class. They look at competition among children seriously, almost as if it were a personal insult [if their child didn’t succeed] which is a worrying trend. This over-competitive attitude is actually very harmful for the child’s personality,” she adds. The other factor to consider is that some children have genuine learning disabilities such as dyslexia and attention-deficit disorders or poor motor or speech skills. With little awareness about these disabilities, they often remain undiagnosed. This has resulted in bullying and such attacks on smaller children.

“The high divorce rate and home environments that could resemble battle zones also make children anxious and unwilling to attend school,” says Ms Zaidi who is also a trained psychologist. “Parents need to spend quality time with children; sitting with them and talking about school, their friends on a regular basis.” She attributes the lack of communication between parents and children to the former having no time to attend to the needs of their children. Many parents do not realise how much junk food their children consume, for instance, or how much time they spend online. This has adverse effects on learning abilities, involvement in sport and extra-curricular activities, and therefore contributes to maladjustment in school, she notes.

“If a child is not adjusting well in school, has an irrational fear of public speaking or is academically weak, parents must resolve the underlying issues instead of blaming and nagging the child,” she explains. Schools also need to nurture confidence in children by creating an enabling classroom environment for all students to participate in group activities such as show-and-tell, storytelling, etc. and from a young age, so that they lose the fear of speaking before an audience. “Good nutrition, proper sleep and limited screen time also play a role in helping children to become mentally and physically strong,” she adds.

Another significant addition to some schools has come with trained counsellors providing help to children suffering from anxiety because of various reasons — from bullying to dealing with exclusion from sport, art, drama, social work, etc. Some children are bright and find it difficult to socialise with others for which they need help. Extracurricular activities not only reduce academic stress but are a means of recognising and honing talent and lauding achievement beyond grades.

Children develop long-lasting impressions in their early schooling years. Only conducive school and home environments will allow them to acquire self-confidence and knowledge, preparing them for adulthood and its challenges. School administrators and teachers are tasked with ensuring that children are able to integrate and their learning abilities develop — something that requires greater attention with the quality of teaching having declined in public schools. On their part, parents — their role equally significant, if not more important — must extend support and understanding to children. Growing up in today’s world, children will exhibit curiosity about and react to the complexities they observe.

Published in Dawn, EOS, April 30th, 2017

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