When you make a mistake, forgive yourself

The next time you face a setback, try taking a self-compassion break. As soon as you notice that you’re upset or under stress, see if you can locate where the emotional discomfort resides in your body. Where do you feel it the most? Then admit to yourself, ‘This is hard’ or ‘Other people feel this way too’. If you’re having trouble finding the right language, it can help to imagine what you might say to a close friend struggling with the same issue. Can you say something similar to yourself, exhibiting the same kindness?

(Adapted from To Recover From Failure, Try Some Self-Compassion, by Christopher Germer)

Change your default response to stress

Even if you’re someone who typically gets flustered in the face of pressure, you can train your brain to be calmer when a stressful event arises. Make a list of five stressful events from your past that you were successful in solving (for example, maybe you got through the breakup of a relationship or met a tight deadline on a big project). The next time you feel your heart starting to race, remind yourself of those accomplishments — and your ability to chart a path forward — by looking at the list. Choose a small, meaningful action that you can take to get your brain moving forward, even if it doesn’t solve the problem.

(Adapted from You Can Improve Your Default Response to Stress, by Michelle Gielan)

5 things to consider when supporting a grieving colleague

When your co-worker loses a loved one, how can you best support him? Depending on the person and the timing, some approaches might work better than others.

— Don’t ask how he’s doing or how you can help. Try saying, “I’m thinking of you,” or “I’ll check in from time to time.”

— Don’t compare. Instead of going into a long description about what was helpful for you when you lost a loved one, briefly let your colleague know whether you’ve also lost someone, and say, “I can’t imagine what this is like for you.”

— Don’t rush it. Ask him when or how he’d like you to bring up your support and condolences in person.

— Don’t track his progress. Instead of saying, “Are you doing any better?” simply try, “It’s good to see you.”

— Don’t think of this as a one-and-done. Let your colleague know that you’re around. Set a reminder to check in with him every two weeks or so.

(Adapted from How to Offer Support to a Grieving Colleague, by Sabina Nawaz)

Help a dawdling employee pick up the pace

What should you do if someone on your team takes too long to accomplish his work? Start by finding the source of the sluggishness. Your employee might be struggling with a new task, or devoting too much time to certain projects because he’s a perfectionist. Don’t make assumptions. Even if you have an idea of what the root cause might be, ask the person directly. If you approach the conversation with curiosity, you’ll be better positioned to brainstorm effective solutions. Give your employee guidance on where you want him to emphasise his time, and on how long something should take. If the situation gets better, be sure to recognise his improved performance.

(Adapted from How to Get an Employee to Work Faster, by Carolyn O’Hara)

Speak up in meetings (even if you’re a junior)

As a young professional, you might worry that you’re too inexperienced to speak up in a meeting. But unless you participate, you won’t catch the attention of your senior colleagues who have the power to bring your career to the next level. Find something to share that will make senior staff notice you — and your potential. Don’t underestimate the value of the experience that you do have. You can reference the projects you are currently working on: ‘I’ve been seeing this topic come up in emails with clients’ or ‘Amy asked about how this affects the bottom line — our team has been working on this very issue, and here is how we resolved it’.

(Adapted from Don’t Let Inexperience Stop You From Participating in Meetings, by Andy Molinsky and Melissa Hahn)

Published in Dawn, Business & Finance weekly, April 24th, 2017