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'Why you reside jovial in Dubai': An open letter from Taher Shah to Pakistani politicians

Updated Apr 14, 2016 09:25am

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In the wake of yet another massive hit by Pakistani pop and Internet sensation, Taher Shah, we requested him to write a blog for us.

The idea emerged when Shah published a truly insightful piece on his website explaining the philosophy of his recent hit, 'Angel'.

We asked him to write a column for us on the various political, economic and social issues faced by Pakistan today. After much thought, he finally agreed.

So here it is. We proudly present a special blog by Taher Shah, written exclusively for Dawn. Happy reading.


Hello. First. I want to thanks Don Dot Commerce for spreading in front of me opportunity to put eye on Pakistan’s many many problems.

First. I want to put eye on recent issue of Banana Leak which has created turmoil and whirlpool in many many nations including Pakistan mankind.

Dear mankind of Pakistan, this very very serious issue of many many nations; but we must consider more of it where we reside jovial: i.e. Pakistan in UAE Sea part of Asia and Afghan north border, also some with China, some with Iran nearing Balochistan where already war clouds bursting rains which drowning peace.

What is Banana Leak? This profound, spectrum question being asked by mankind in Pakistan. Answer is complex. One must put pressure on mind, sit in corner under apple tree and heavily think. Answer will come soon.

I did same. Finally get answer when a papaya fall from apple tree and roll roll roll down grassy hill into Indus Valley Civilization River and made sound like baby bursting bubble from tiny mouth.

‘I found answer of Banana Leak under apple tree.’ ‘I found answer of Banana Leak under apple tree.’

Then I stand up and walk in thinking pose and spread my hands up towards cloudy sky. Next moment I was in Makran Coast. I look fontal and my eye catch sight of sea. And there was there. Same papaya which had roll roll roll into Indus Valley Civilization River. Now papaya was in UAE Sea!!!!

So this how I get answer. Banana Leak is the offshore thing which many many important mankind peoples open to escape Texas. Now you understand?

Second. I will talk about me. Some people say I always talk about, me, me, me.

What angel to do if not speak of him that is me myself? But I not bother about negative citrus. I take it positively absolutely metaphorically even if some citruses is negative.

I love all because you all is me and you are I meaning myself mankind angel, la la la, la la la …

Third. I now spread views on habit of holding dharna in capital township of Margalla. Dear mankind of country on edge of UAE Sea and across lines of divide onward India and Afghanistan and Bukhara, why you do that? Why we not love one of other and other of another?

As my epic song of millions of social medium hits says, there is angel in every man and chubby boy and even in womans in white. We all angels. So why we always quarrel? I see quarrel and waterfall of salty tears burst from my eye to other eye and other of another.


Sad Flute Break. Tuuu … tuuu … tuuuu


Fourthly. Wel come back. Hand paining of typing on computer board. All issues of mankind can solved with love, peace, flute and apple tree. Love is soul of food, reaches eye from inner eye and heart beat like drum beating in area where angel in every man and woman and child kinds reside jovial and quiet.

‘There angel in every man and woman and childkinds reside jovial.’ ‘There angel in every man and woman and childkinds reside jovial.’

Now. Fifthly. I write on computer board appeal to our many many leadershipkinds. First. Royal Prime Minister, Nawaz Angel. Greetings from humble hit pop star of world and Hollywood Boulevard.

Dear royal Prime Man, why you get skin of head change? I am blessed with lots of hairs on my head, but even when you only had just skin on head, you were royal and prime and suited ladder of poor heaven Pakistan.

Many many eyes on you looking of hope and believing big big things from your kingdom after giving you as many votes as they give me Youtube hits. You must deliver promise like sensitive doctor deliver baby. Keep in mind this.

To Nawaz Angel: ‘Deliver promise like sensitive doctor deliver baby.’ To Nawaz Angel: ‘Deliver promise like sensitive doctor deliver baby.’

Second. Mr. Asif Zardari Angel, leader of Pakistan Party of Peoples of poor heaven. Salam from common hit pop man of instant internet sensationalism. Dear fellow angel and leadership of poor mankind, why you residing jovial in Dubai Mall?

You born and bread and butter here in poor proud heaven, and you rule once as prestigious presidential post. Yet after you loose post in election you fly on Emirates Airlines flight EK-477 to Dubai Mall.

Now you not come back to save mankind of Sindh, Punjab, Balochistan, Pakhtunkhwa, Kashmir, Afghanistan and Bukhara.

Return turn, fellow elder angel with wide smile, or give full protein power to delicate son of soil, Bilawal, and retire to lakeside residence of old angel mans. Keep mind of this.

To Zardari Angel: ‘Why you reside jovial in Dubai Mall?’ To Zardari Angel: ‘Why you reside jovial in Dubai Mall?’

Third. Good morning in evening haze, fast balling Greece prince and captain master, Imran Angel. My head hair grew two to three three inch when you first jump in fire of politic championship in 1996 AD.

I tell myself then, because I only talk myself to myself, like eye to eye, so I tell myself to myself, I vote for him, that is you Greece prince Apollo angel.

But now I disappointed.

I vote many many times for your judgment party but all I get was talk, shout, talk, shout, and angry protestings and breaking things and winds. You are honest angel, fair Greece prince Apollo on Pompeii coin of ancient vintage.

This your strength, Imran Angel, not press conference, and speech and speech and fist in air and wind breakings with tricky TV ship anchors who all like Machiavelli of Mianwalli. Keep lock this in mind for glorious future tense.

To Imran Angel: ‘You are honest angel, fair Greece prince Apollo on Pompeii coin of ancient vintage. Don’t do political angry championship.’ To Imran Angel: ‘You are honest angel, fair Greece prince Apollo on Pompeii coin of ancient vintage. Don’t do political angry championship.’

Two mores. First. Altaf Bhai Angel. Why you shout loud like lightening cracking in monsoon sky on deep, dark night long, long ago? I scare of you.

When you come on TV screen, my room floor and wall shake like earthquake has come or slipper stuck in generator engine. But you are veteran leadership and Karachi mankind still put out chest and press love for you.

My advisory to you is simple: Give leadership role in party to other of another of some single being cosmic astronomy assistant mankind angel bhai. Okay? Keep advice of this in angry mind for continued Karachi kingdom.

To Altaf Bhai Angel: ‘I scare of you.’ To Altaf Bhai Angel: ‘I scare of you.’

Lastingly, janab pious angel that is ladder of jamat of whose name I have forgotten. Apology for this, pious brothers.

On poor heaven Pakistan, what have your party done? Why you peoples always angry about womanskinds and soul of food i.e. music?

Why always angry of things that make mankind of poor earth and moon happy and reside in jovial?

My advice: Have heart like jolly bull and smile like chubby child with yellow hair singing angel, angel on UAE golf course. Have this and see life become pleasant and flighty and light like rose petal full of dew in early morning city on YouTube. Keep in mind this and your blood pressure will becoming mud pleasure.

To pious brother angels: ‘Why you peoples always angry at womanskinds and soul of food i.e. music?’ To pious brother angels: ‘Why you peoples always angry at womanskinds and soul of food i.e. music?’

Ninthly. That is all I write for you in ghost blog. My fingers tired and bleeding longing for peace and blonde womankind in white dress.

Peace and love and rain of rose petals and lots of hair on skin of head to all.

You are all angels. Mankind Angel. La la la la.


(Flute).


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Nadeem F. Paracha is a cultural critic and senior columnist for Dawn Newspaper and Dawn.com. He is also the author of two books on the social history of Pakistan, End of the Past and The Pakistan Anti-Hero.

He tweets @NadeemfParacha


The views expressed by this writer and commenters below do not necessarily reflect the views and policies of the Dawn Media Group.



Comments (59) Closed



Mehreen Apr 13, 2016 11:54am

NFP! You are just tooooo goood!

Fan Apr 13, 2016 12:00pm

""You are honest angel, fair Greece prince Apollo on Pompeii coin of ancient vintage""

LOL!!

Afsana Apr 13, 2016 12:01pm

His questions are all right...

Afsana Apr 13, 2016 12:01pm

First. Altaf Bhai Angel. Why you shout loud like lightening cracking in monsoon sky on deep, dark night long, long ago? I scare of you. When you come on TV screen, my room floor and wall shake like earthquake has come

Basheer DEST Apr 13, 2016 12:02pm

You really cracked me up..!!!!

Arshad Apr 13, 2016 12:06pm

Thanks Mr. Paracha I now reside in jovial after reading this article and hope same happens with fellow mankind readers of your blog

Kabir Apr 13, 2016 12:13pm

You're an angel of mankind NFP!!!!!

Israr Apr 13, 2016 12:17pm

I love soul of food.

Munawer Apr 13, 2016 12:51pm

Hilarious

observer Apr 13, 2016 12:54pm

LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Haider Apr 13, 2016 01:00pm

Cant stop laughing!! NFP this is wicked!!

DAWN Apr 13, 2016 01:13pm

This is so hilarious.I must thank Tahir Shah first for giving us reason to smile/laugh.Than NFP & Dawn. I guess this laughing will continue for many days to come!!!

Khi96 Apr 13, 2016 01:15pm

His reading made my day! Now I reside in jovial :D

Hassan Apr 13, 2016 01:47pm

How many of you read it in Tahir Shah's voice?

Tk Apr 13, 2016 02:08pm

NFP is my angel!! Mankind angel

The Kraken Apr 13, 2016 03:06pm

Hilarious as ever NFP!

S!D Apr 13, 2016 03:13pm

NFP, you are an angel of Dawn mankind!

Ali Zaidi Apr 13, 2016 03:14pm

Rofl :D

Shahbaz Apr 13, 2016 03:32pm

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAH

Irfan Apr 13, 2016 03:48pm

Lol,

Haseeb Apr 13, 2016 04:14pm

You are a real GEM bro. Nice BLOG Taher Shah. Hilarious

Farooq Apr 13, 2016 04:19pm

this actually made me laugh

Aqeel Aamir Apr 13, 2016 04:30pm

I, myself, like many others, laughed and made fun of Tahir's production but the more i listened to the song and watched his TV interview the more i got serious and finally reading this 'Open Letter' convinces me that this guy has got something serious to say. What makes me ponder upon this thoughts is the reason of him being very confident. His addressing political figures, Desi style in expression and still sounding serious makes me smile continuously. What i realized also that his thought processes occur in Urdu language, while the medium he preferred is non-Urdu, which apparently, makes difficult for the readers to comprehend as well as makes a bit difficult to follow the points he is trying to make but i am happy for him! He is successful in attracting masses to ponder upon what he's got. I wish him success in his future projects, and sure that he will look at all of his weaknesses and shortcomings and improve as we all do continuously. kgmpak@gmail.com

Asad Ali Apr 13, 2016 04:35pm

Hahahahahahaha "Hello. First. I want to thanks Don Dot Commerce for spreading in front of me opportunity to put eye on Pakistan’s many many problems". Ahahahahahaha

Shehzad Apr 13, 2016 04:47pm

Leave the man alone.

IJLAL Apr 13, 2016 05:16pm

Fun-Taste-Ache this is how one may consider to split the word FANTASTIC for such a thought provoking writing by Mr.T S :)

Yasmin Elahi Apr 13, 2016 05:45pm

This is really Brilliant!

jun Apr 13, 2016 05:49pm

Love this guy so much.His humor,his way at looking at serious problems from totally different angle,so positive.He just relaxes you in storm

shahnaz Apr 13, 2016 08:03pm

We watch a lot of comics and comedy and comedians also, now needed something else, extraordinary

hassan Apr 13, 2016 08:53pm

Vary cute...... :-)

Musa Apr 13, 2016 09:23pm

Loooooool!

aga khan Apr 13, 2016 09:29pm

You are very good indeed.

saqib angel Apr 13, 2016 09:56pm

simply hillarious, i also live close to jovial dubai and wish all pakitani mankind get equal opportunity to live jovially.

Zia Apr 13, 2016 10:52pm

Dimagh ki chatni bana di

Hira Tariq Apr 13, 2016 11:17pm

Loved it NFP! You blew the bomb mankind's angel! The best piece of your work ever! Keep it up!

Zahira Batool Apr 13, 2016 11:40pm

Mankind angle must meet him, with anglekind.

flipflop Apr 13, 2016 11:54pm

Haha, this is epic..

DIL DIL PAKISTAN Apr 14, 2016 12:28am

La La La La Nadeem Bahi you Rocks .......

Naila Apr 14, 2016 01:33am

Ohh you totally crack down all mankind angels with such an awesome description associated with their character's too gud!!

Zak Apr 14, 2016 01:48am

@Aqeel Aamir Actually NFP wrote it. It was a satire

Rahul Apr 14, 2016 03:17am

NFP is a terrorist - he makes people die of excessive laughter. lol.

Akram Apr 14, 2016 03:31am

You just caught me for a second because you can expect the unexpected from Angel "t". But then there is also angel Paracha, from whom you can also expect the unexpected satire that can make your day.

PS. LA la laLA la lA

Manish tyagi Apr 14, 2016 04:22am

This is your best write up ever !!

Ali Apr 14, 2016 06:04am

This guys is amazing!

Irfan Apr 14, 2016 06:28am

NFP is one of a kind amongst Pakistani journalists.

Muzammil Hussain Apr 14, 2016 06:32am

Out of the world

Rajeev Deshpande Apr 14, 2016 08:02am

My life many many problem but watching this song after now residing jovial. Taher Shah's many thanks. La la la.

Farrukh Arshad Apr 14, 2016 09:09am

Oh God. I love you NFP !!

aamir Apr 14, 2016 09:23am

Making fun of him or Meera just because of their English or style have never been able to deter them what they have ambition to do. They are successful to get attention, making money and becoming popular. In fact they have forced people with all their intellect as well to write upon them . So my thumb is up for these artists. Yes these are ARTISTS and respected.

Farhan Ali Jamali Apr 14, 2016 09:38am

OMG! I am ditched again. :( I didn't notice NFP on the top of article and kept reading and here I saw smiling NFP. :) NFP you are a satirical angel with big big big heart filled with lots of love for Pakistani, Irani, Indian, Bukhara and Iraqi mankind angels. :)

Shujaat Khan Apr 14, 2016 12:11pm

Love ya NFP. Killing me softly.

Mumbai Indian Apr 14, 2016 12:21pm

That was cruel !

JUDE ALLEN Apr 14, 2016 06:11pm

Nadeem...... you nailed it! cracked me up too :)

Tanweer Khan Apr 14, 2016 06:52pm

Inshallah, in a few years time, Pakistan will not only be known for Qawali and Sufi music, but also for the Angel genre.

Saluting you big time 'O Angel of Mankind' - We are not worthy of your supreme talents.

Ali Shah Apr 15, 2016 05:10am

haha, this was so good.

brar Apr 15, 2016 07:37am

Pracha Sahib funny as always but a great lesson for leaders to learn if they try to, it will be good for you and the country too.

USER Apr 15, 2016 11:12am

the worst song i ever listen.... angle

Hassan Sheikh Apr 16, 2016 01:13am

I can clearly see where the eye to eye and the angle songs came from. LOl !!!

truth Apr 16, 2016 03:38am

comically serious