This time last year Rebecca Bashir and her family were busy decorating the Christmas tree with baubles, tree toppers and lights.

With the nation still mourning the Peshawar massacre, the scenario has changed though and Christians across Pakistan have collectively decided to tone down celebrations.

“Who kills children?” says Rebecca, who is a teacher at the St. Peter’s school in Lahore.

“For how long will we keep sending our children abroad,” Rebecca, who broke down in tears during the conversation, adds.

Christmas across Pakistan will not have an air of festivity this time around and would be limited to congregation prayers in the morning, followed by family get-togethers.

For Rebecca, the pain of the terrorist attack on Peshawar's Army Public School is still fresh, considering her routine involves her being in a similar setting everyday.

“As the news of the attack reached the school, the students were told not to feel hopeless. We told them not to be frightened, do not think of leaving the country. It is your land, you have to work hard for it and defend it.”

True to her profession, the 57-year-old teacher says if education was given priority in the country, the situation would never have deteriorated so much.

“Terrorists have been brainwashed into committing these crime. If they had been educated they would not have opted for this path.”

Rebecca said for her this Christmas will be a time of reflection and prayers which will begin from Christmas Eve.

“We will continue prayers throughout the day for Kot Radha Kishan, All Saints Church and Peshawar school victims.”

“We do not have any Makkah or Madinah, it is Pakistan where we belong and this is our land. We will defend it to our last spill of blood.”

Rebecca says she never expected the situation in the country to come to a head in such a manner.

Recollecting her memories from a trip to a hill station in Balochistan when she was young, she says the situation has been brewing up for a while now and something had to give way.

“We saw chalking on the wall saying Pakistan will be ruined,” she said.

“We laughed at those remarks back then.”

“It is us who have failed, not our children…we have to teach our children to say ‘no’ to wrong. Do not hate anybody, love your country. We are all Pakistanis,” she advised the young generation of Pakistan.

Rebecca's husband Colonel (retd) Samuel Bashir served in the Army for 27 years and says he feels guilty for the Pakistan we are leaving for our younger generations.

“'I am terribly sorry for the country we are leaving for you to live in. It is my generation's fault', I tell the younger lot,” Samuel says.

He says, as a soldier his heart and soul is with the grieving families but the nation must be ready to face more losses if the country wanted to rid itself of the scourge of terrorism.

“Theologically Christmas is to celebrate peace. Though the birth of Jesus could definitely be celebrated but not peace because after what happened in Peshawar, this is a time to mourn.”

Much like Samuel and Rebecca, Christmas activities will be limited to children alone for Sean Victor, an Aga Khan University Hospital employee.

“Christmas is for children and the celebrations are being carried out on a very low scale,” he said.

“There are fewer activities, less lighting and events of singing and dancing have also been called off.”

Then there are people like Parveen, a housekeeper, who preferred to spend this Christmas just like any other routine day.

“If the government had not declared a public holiday, I would have gone to work,” she said.

“We will not be setting up a Christmas tree and will only wear new clothes while going to church for prayers.”

For Parveen, it was important for the country to unite in such an environment and festivities were not of the utmost important.

Pastor Habib, founder and chairman of the ‘Gospel Church of the Living God’ in Essa Nagri, says each and every Christian living in Pakistan was saddened by the deadly incident in Peshawar which had made Christmas this year more about prayer than celebration.

“Christmas is a big day and we will pray for the grieved families,” he said.

“Even if some don't consider us as equal citizens of the state, we will still do our part for the betterment of the society.”

“It has always been our practice to share the pain of the people we live with, and tomorrow on Christmas, we will pray for a peaceful Pakistan.”