Germany speaks but does anybody understand?

Germany, which holds the presidencies of the European Union and the G8 club of industrial nations, is conducting official business in what Mark Twain described as the “slipshod”, “systemless” and “slippery” German language.

Chancellor Angela Merkel and Foreign Minister Frank-Walter Steinmeier may represent all 27 EU states and the eight G8 club members to the whole world – but they insist on doing so in a language which has long lost the battle for global linguistic significance.

Senior German officials brush aside any question of Merkel or Steinmeier even making an attempt to deliver a speech or hold a press conference in English.

“There are interpreters,” said one official bluntly defending the practice.

But anyone who has listened to the sometimes convoluted words produced by simultaneous interpretation knows this is not the way to win hearts and minds. Former German Foreign Minster Joschka Fischer certainly knew it.

When Fischer challenged former US Secretary of Defence Donald Rumsfeld over the looming Iraq war at the 2003 Munich Security Conference he did so in English. “Excuse me, I am not convinced!” said Fischer, his voice shaking with emotion.

Fischer’s words captured global headlines and ran repeatedly on TV news shows largely – we would argue - because he chose to speak in English.

Just imagine if he had stuck to German and said “Entschuldigen Sie, Ich bin nicht überzeugt” and then turned to the interpreters perched in their glass cabins and waited for a possibly mangled version of his appeal. Same impact? No way.

Sadly, national issues seem to be getting in the way of what should be Germany’s priority: speaking to the world in a language it understands.

Merkel leads the biggest EU member state and Berlin is demanding that German be used just like English and French in the bloc. So maybe it’s just a case of size matters or might makes right.

But even French has lost out with English becoming the EU’s lingua franca ever since the bloc expanded into the Nordic region and with the more recent enlargement into central and eastern Europe.

Smaller countries holding recent EU presidencies – the EU leadership rotates every six months – have taken a far less linguistically nationalist approach than Berlin.

During last year’s Finnish EU presidency both Prime Minister Matti Vanhanen and Foreign Minister Erkki Tuomioja regularly conducted briefings in English.

Sanna Kangasharju, the Deputy Head of Information in Vanhanen’s office, said the decision was a no-brainer. “Using English, normally all participants of the press conferences could use the same language... Though the interpretation services in the EU are excellent, there is always the risk of the message being altered when interpreted. According to our experience, the message is best conveyed directly from the speaker to the listener,” she said.

During the Austrian EU presidency both former Chancellor Wolfgang Schuessel and Foreign Minister Ursula Plassnik often used English instead of German.

And during Luxembourg’s EU presidency Prime Minister Jean-Claude Juncker – who seems to speak most major European languages – was happy to answer questions in whatever language they were asked.

So what does Germany say about all this? Reach for your earphones and hope for the best.