Pearls of wisdom from Mr Bush

WHO would have thought that the collected works of the world’s most powerful man could probably double up as perhaps one of the funniest and most idiotic books you might ever read.

Inadvertently and unintentionally funny and idiotic sayings by the US president have been doing the Internet rounds ever since he took office. Of course, you will not see these in the mainstream media all that much for the simple reason that it would be rather difficult for The New York Times or The Washington Post (ideological opponents of the Republican Party) to discredit the American president at time when his country needs exemplary leadership. However, going by what he has said, George W. Bush thinks that Africa is a country, that Japan and America have had excellent relations for over a century-and-a-half and that Brazil had no people of African descent.

However, readers deserve to get a better picture of how the mind of the world’s most influential man works, and how he thinks (or does not). The following are available at least on the Internet, and using a good search engine like Google one can find loads of ‘Bush-isms’. A lot of what he has said —- but severely under-reported or not reported at all by the mainstream media —- is quite funny and even borders on the absurd. And a lot of it makes no sense at all.

Here then, are some of his pearls of wisdom.

(Where possible, the date and place where he said what he said has been indicated in parentheses): “There’s no cave deep enough for America, or dark enough to hide.” (Oklahoma City, Aug 29, 2002).

“President Musharraf, he’s still tight with us on the war against terror, and that’s what I appreciate. He’s —- he understands that we’ve got to keep Al Qaeda on the run, and that by keeping him on the run, it’s more likely we will bring him to justice.” (Oregon, Aug 22, 2002)

“I’m thrilled to be here in the bread basket of America because it gives me a chance to remind our fellow citizens that we have an advantage here in America —- we can feed ourselves.” (Stockton, California, Aug 23)

“There may be some tough times here in America. But this country has gone through tough times before, and we’re going to do it again.”

“Tommy [Thompson, US Health and Human Services secretary,] is a good listener, and he’s a pretty good actor, too”.

“Do you have blacks, too?” (To Brazilian President Fernando Cardoso in Washington, DC, Nov 8, 2001.)

“This foreign policy stuff is a little frustrating.” (As quoted by the New York Daily News, April 23, 2002)

“So in my State of the —- my State of the Union —- or state —- my speech to the nation, whatever you want to call it, speech to the nation —- I asked Americans to give 4,000 years —- 4,000 hours over the next —- the rest of your life —- of service to America. That’s what I asked —- 4,000 hours.” (Bridgeport, Connecticut, April 9, 2002)

“For a century-and-a-half now, America and Japan have formed one of the great and enduring alliances of modern times.” (Tokyo, Feb 18, 2002)

“There’s nothing more deep than recognizing Israel’s right to exist. That’s the most deep thought of all.... I can’t think of anything more deep than that right.” (Washington, DC, March 13, 2002)

“The suicide bombings have increased. There’s too many of them.” (Albuquerque, New Mexico Aug. 15, 2001)

“There’s a lot of people in the Middle East who are desirous to get into the Mitchell process. And —- but first things first. The —- these terrorist acts and, you know, the responses have got to end in order for us to get the framework —- the groundwork —- not framework, the groundwork to discuss a framework for peace, to lay the —- all right.” (Referring to former Sen. George Mitchell’s report on Middle East peace Crawford, Texas, Aug 13, 2001.)

“You saw the president yesterday. I thought he was very forward-leaning, as they say in diplomatic nuanced circles.” (Referring to his meeting with Russian President Vladimir Putin, Rome, July 23, 2001)

“I know what I believe. I will continue to articulate what I believe and what I believe —- I believe what I believe is right.” (Rome, July 22, 2001)

“We spent a lot of time talking about Africa, as we should. Africa is a nation that suffers from incredible disease.” (Gothenburg, Sweden, June 14, 2001)

“It’s important for young men and women who look at the Nebraska champs to understand that quality of life is more than just blocking shots.” (Remarks to the University of Nebraska women’s volleyball team, the 2001 US national champions, Washington, DC, May 31, 2001)

“If a person doesn’t have the capacity that we all want that person to have, I suspect hope is in the far distant future, if at all.” (Remarks to the Hispanic Scholarship Fund Institute, Washington, DC, May 22, 2001)

There are many more, equally hilarious and absurd, but they would fill several pages of this newspaper.

— OMAR R. QURAISHI

email: omarq@cyber.net.pk

C’wealth links action to democratic process

THE decision by the Commonwealth to uphold Pakistan’s suspension despite the October elections shows that the group is not satisfied with development of the democratic process so far. The decision to uphold Pakistan’s suspension was taken at a meeting of the Commonwealth foreign ministers held in London the other day.

The decision is indeed a great setback to President Gen Pervez Musharraf who believes that Pakistan is back on the democratic track. According to the assessment of the Commonwealth, certain measures introduced in Pakistan in the period preceding the election have had a limiting effect on the process of restoring democracy.

The group is very clearly concerned over the continued promulgation of new laws, even after the election, which follow extra-constitutional measures introduced through the Legal Framework Order. The decision to keep Pakistan’s suspension from the Councils of the Commonwealth — the group’s main decision-making bodies — is a stark reminder to President Musharraf to allow full executive powers and the establishment of elected legislatures with full constitutional and legislative authority.

Turkish polls: The Islamist-based Justice and Development Party (AK) is poised to form the next government in Turkey after wining a clear majority in the general election. The AK will form a single-party government after 15 years. Its victory was expected much before the election. The party has secured 34 per cent votes, while the secular Republican People’s Party has gained second position by wining 19.3 per cent of the vote, giving it 178 seats.

Turkey’s outgoing Prime Minister Bulent Ecevit accepted his defeat, after none of the three ruling coalition parties managed to cross the 10 per cent threshold needed to enter into parliament.

To a degree there is a similarity between the present situation in Pakistan and the one in Turkey. In Pakistan the religious parties capitalized on the government’s pro-US stance, poor performance of the earlier governments and the economic crisis. In Turkey the success of the AK is largely blamed on the economic recession of that country and poor performance of the mainstream political parties.

Pakistan is a crucial partner of the West in its campaign against international terrorism whereas Turkey is a staunch ally of the US. Turkey’s support will be crucial during any possible military action against Iraq to topple the government of Saddam Hussein. In both the countries any possible change in the foreign policy by future governments could affect the war against international terrorism.

But the signs so far are that the AK is not anti-West and the party supports Turkey’s bid to join the European Union. Although AK leader Recep Tayyip Erdogan has pledged that his party would stand for democratic freedoms and human rights and will not impose Islam on anyone, the fear is that things could change once it forms government as many of Mr Erdogan’s supporters want the party to stay true to its Islamist roots.

The AK party will have 363 of the 550 seats in parliament — just four seats short of the two-thirds majority needed to change the staunchly secular Constitution of the country.

Some analysts believe that Turkey may be heading for a constitutional crisis as the AK — formed last year by deputies from previously banned Islamist parties — is under legal threat of closure and its leader, Recep Tayyip Erdogan, is barred from entering the assembly after serving a jail term for reading a poem deemed to incite racial hatred at a public meeting. His future will be decided at a hearing of the constitutional court in two weeks’ time.