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Most wanted terrorist captured from hotel in Pakistan

Updated Sep 04, 2013 01:49pm


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ISLAMABAD: In a daring raid, Saudi Special Forces arrested one of the most wanted extremist leaders, Abu Jarara Al-Yemeni, from a hotel located in one of Pakistan’s most popular vacation spots in Murree.

The news spread like wildfire and people were seen cursing the Pakistani government for allowing the Americans to undermine Pakistan’s sovereignty, again.

However, when it became clear that the raid was not conducted by the Americans but by the Saudis, the frowns turned into smiles and many were heard saying, ‘Jazzakallah!’

Only minutes after the raid, Pakistan’s Prime Minister appeared on state-owned television and congratulated the nation and thanked the Saudi regime for helping Pakistan in its war against terror.

Interestingly, religious parties like Jamaat-i-Islami, (JI) Jamiat Ulema-i-Islam (JUI) and some banned sectarian organisations, that had originally called a joint press conference to condemn the raid, changed their stance half-way through the conference when told that the raid was by Saudi forces and not the Americans.

JI chief was first heard lambasting Pakistan’s civilian government for letting the country’s sovereignty be violated by the Americans, but after a reporter confirmed that the raid was executed by Saudi forces, the JI chief turned towards the JUI chief and embraced him.

Mahshallah!’ he exclaimed. “Today is a glorious day for our Islamic republic!”

JI and JUI chiefs had earlier questioned the real identity of the man arrested from the hotel, saying that even if it was Jarara, we should be ashamed because he was a freedom fighter, conducting a liberation war against the Americans.

However, after it became clear that the arrest was made by Saudi forces, both the men then claimed that Jarara was no friend of Pakistan and that he was not even a Muslim.

In a joint statement, JI, JUI and the sectarian organisations congratulated the nation and said that they had been saying all along that the extremists were Pakistan’s greatest enemies and should be exterminated.

The statement also said that the JI and JUI (along with PTI) will continue to hold sit-ins against American drones, which were parachuting evil men like Jarara into Pakistan and violating the sovereignty of the country. For this, the statement suggested, that Ahmad Shah Abdali should be invited to invade Pakistan and defeat the Americans.

When told that Abdali died almost two hundred years ago, the religious leaders termed this to be nothing more than western propaganda.

PTI members at the conference added that Pakistan’s most prominent revolutionary and youngest nuclear physicists, Zohair Toru, was building anti-drone missiles.

Toru, who was also present at the conference, confirmed this while licking a lemon-flavored Popsicle. He said it was a very hot day and popsicles helped him concentrate.

Zohair Toru at the press conference.
Zohair Toru at the press conference.

However, soon things took another twist when sources suggested that the Saudis captured Jarara and handed him over to the Americans.

The Americans – who had accused Jarara for committing crimes against humanity – actually plan to use him to lead a revolt against the Syrian government that the Americans accuse of committing crimes against humanity.

After this, the chiefs of JUI, JI and the sectarian parties again changed their stance. In another joint statement, they said Jarara indeed was a great Muslim warrior. They then embraced each other and distributed Saudi dates among the gathered media personnel and asked them to pray for Jarar’s success against the evil Syrian government.

But when asked what they thought about Jarar working with the Americans and vice versa, they said they cannot answer this question because it was time for the afternoon prayers.

When asked whether they will answer the question after the prayers they said by then it will be time for the evening prayers.

When asked if they would be willing to give an answer after the evening prayers, they said by then all of them would be on their way to Saudi Arabia to perform Hajj.

Members of religious parties after being told the raid was conducted by the Americans.
Members of religious parties after being told the raid was conducted by the Americans.

Religious party leaders after being told Jarar will be used by Saudi Arabia and US in war against Syria.
Religious party leaders after being told Jarar will be used by Saudi Arabia and US in war against Syria.

Religious party leaders after being told Jarar will be used by Saudi Arabia and US in the war against Syria.

The raid

A military spokesman also held a press conference to give the media a briefing on the details of the raid.

He said the raid was executed by Saudi Special Forces who came on four helicopters from Saudi military bases in Raiwind.

The helicopters then landed on the Margala Hills in Islamabad. On the lush hills, Saudi soldiers disembarked from the copters, got on camels and rode all the way to Murree in broad daylight.

They were twice stopped at checkpoints by the Pakistani police but were allowed to cross when some Saudi soldiers promised the cops jobs in Saudi Arabia and year’s supply of Zamzam water.

An eyewitness claims the cops smiled and waved to the departing camels, cheering ‘marhaba, marhaba.’

A passerby captured this photo of the Saudi Special Forces on their way to Murree.
A passerby captured this photo of the Saudi Special Forces on their way to Murree.

The camel army reached the in Murree at 11:00 am and right away rode their way into the sprawling premises.

The camels were also carrying rocket launchers, sub-machine guns, pistols, grenades and popcorn, all concealed in large ‘Dubai Duty Free’ shopping bags.

One of the items left behind by the Saudi raiding party.
One of the items left behind by the Saudi raiding party.

The military spokesman added that although the Pakistan Army had no clue about the raid, there were a dozen or so Pakistani security personnel present at the hotel.

When asked whether these men questioned the camel riders, the spokesman said that they did see them enter the hotel but were at the time busy interrogating a 77-year-old Caucasian male whom they had arrested for smoking in a non-smoking area.

“After the Abbottabad incident, we are keeping a firm eye on Europeans and Americans,” the spokesman said.

Even though the white man turned out to be an old Polish tourist, the spokesman praised the security men’s vigilance. “Our country’s sovereignty is sacred,” he added. “And, of course, smoking is bad for health.”

According to the Pakistan’s security agencies, the Saudis then rode their camels into one of the hotel’s kitchens and fired teargas shells.

This way they smoked out the chefs, cooks and other kitchen staff out into the open. From these, a Saudi commander got hold of a fat, hairy chef with an untidy beard.

The Saudi commander looked at the chef and compared his face with a photograph he was carrying. He asked: ‘Al-Jarara?’ To which the chef was reported to have said: “No, al-chicken jalfrezi. Also make very tasty mutton kebabs.”

The commander then asked, ‘Al-Yemeni?’, to which the chef said, ‘Yes make Yamani tikka too. You want?’

A photo of one of the raiders who entered the hotel disguised as a friendly camel.
A photo of one of the raiders who entered the hotel disguised as a friendly camel.
A reporter asked the military spokesman whether the Pakistani security men present at the hotel witnessed the operation. The spokesman answered in the affirmative but said they didn’t take any action after confirming that Pakistan’s sovereignty was not being violated.

The reporter then asked how the security men determined that Pakistan’s sovereignty was not being violated. Answering this, the spokesman said that since the camel riders were speaking Arabic there was thus no reason for the security men to charge them for violating Pakistan’s sovereignty.

This statement made the media personnel at the press conference very happy and they began applauding and raising emotional slogans praising Pakistan, Ziaul Haq and palm trees.

Soon after the announcement that Al-Jarara was arrested by Saudi forces, the country’s private TV channels became animated. One famous TV talk-show host actually decided to host his show in a Bedouin tent. And instead of a chair, he sat on a camel.

Set of a TV talk show held on a local channel to discuss the Saudi raid.
Set of a TV talk show held on a local channel to discuss the Saudi raid.

Though most of his guests — that included prominent ex-generals, clergymen and strategic analysts — praised the operation and heaped scorn and then praise at Al-Jarara, there was one guest, a small-time journalist who disagreed with the panelists.

He asked how a wanted man like Jarara was able to live in Pakistan undetected and that too while working as a chef in a hotel. He also said that Jarara had also been appearing on various cooking shows as a chef on TV food channels.

An alleged shot of Al-Jarara on a Pakistani food channel. Apparently, in this particular episode, he taught viewers how to cook biryani.
An alleged shot of Al-Jarara on a Pakistani food channel. Apparently, in this particular episode, he taught viewers how to cook biryani.

To this, the host snubbed the journalist telling him that he was asking irrelevant questions.

‘But before this raid, everyone was accusing the USA!’ the journalist protested.

This made the host angry and he slapped the journalist. He threatened the journalist by saying that he would lodge a case against him in accordance with the Islamic hudood ordinance.

The journalist responded by saying that the Saudis had violated Pakistan’s sovereignty. Hearing this, the host slapped the journalist again, saying he will get him booked for blasphemy.

At the end of the show, the host and the panelists set fire to a Guatemalan flag and sang the Pakistani national anthem in Arabic. Then, after handing over the treacherous journalist to the authorities, they proceeded to Saudi Arabia to perform Hajj.

However, they were soon deported by the Saudi regime for violating Saudi sovereignty.

American and Israeli officials welcoming the induction of Al-Jarara into the fold of the Syrian rebels.
American and Israeli officials welcoming the induction of Al-Jarara into the fold of the Syrian rebels.


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Author Image

Nadeem F. Paracha is a cultural critic and senior columnist for Dawn Newspaper and He is also the author of two books on the social history of Pakistan, End of the Past and The Pakistan Anti-Hero.

He tweets @NadeemfParacha

The views expressed by this writer and commenters below do not necessarily reflect the views and policies of the Dawn Media Group.

Comments (161) Closed

Nas Sep 04, 2013 12:26pm

Long live the King!! King NFP!!!

Masood Raza Soomro Sep 04, 2013 12:27pm

hahahahahaha lol we are proud of these exremists religious parties who favor terrorists for their own needs in real they are unislamic, wearing islamic uniform..

Ashraf Gul Sep 04, 2013 12:28pm

Good one pal Nadeem

Sonal Sep 04, 2013 12:37pm

This is hilarious! I love the satire.

The al-jalfrezi and yamani tikka bit is too good, as is singing the Qaumi Tarana in Arabic.

Question: is Pakistan a Middle Eastern country or South Asian country?

ayaz Sep 04, 2013 12:59pm

Boss blog..Just describe Pakistani mentality in the most witty and humorous way.

M. Umar Sep 04, 2013 01:00pm

shukran ya akhi paracha!!

Capt C M Khan Sep 04, 2013 01:04pm

"sang the Pakistani national anthem in Arabic". ....SO TRUE....IPL sells in India.....Saudia sells in Pakistan.....Al-Saudia Foundation of Lahore sells medicines for dark skin girls to become fair and lovely, Bald persons to become dashingly handsome, Impotent men to become Playboys, 5 ft persons to increase the height up to 6 ft, plus they have all the cures for cancer, diabetes etc except HIV as it is HARAAM. Hilarious NFP for a moment I read it as Breaking News and was surprised at the Intelligence of Saudis and JUI/JI etc.

haris Sep 04, 2013 01:10pm

Surprisingly your comic ends only after 2 pages. Normally it lasts for 5 to 10 pages.

pakone Sep 04, 2013 01:10pm

How stupid is this nation. Saudis are bigger enemies of Pakistan than the Americans.

imtiaz Sep 04, 2013 01:23pm

interesting ,,,,good luck

Mujtaba Zaidi Sep 04, 2013 01:25pm

Hahah! I have big political as well as religious differences with Paracha.. But my stance on Saudis is same as his.. Plus this was one of the best pieces of sarcasm! Amazing write-up.

Cosmic Lion Sep 04, 2013 01:42pm

Hilarious man...The photograph of camel with sunglasses - Epic.

Uzair Sep 04, 2013 01:54pm

You sir, made my day.

the great Sep 04, 2013 01:54pm

seen been many place of international terrorcrime. crimeterror. even fund of under ground uk euro turkey . envolement. of destoryment of Pakistan . same as afgan , many familys profit of keeping war torn afgan oil more then oil men make in cars . then herion global riches more then a gov page of twitter many answer anti fear 2. for all . faiths as none part of this or can be never used LOVE care share respect of every book born .tnx blessing go 2 all and multi globe will end these things . as we live in each nation tnx THE GREAT.

a Sep 04, 2013 02:01pm

However, they were soon deported by the Saudi regime for violating Saudi sovereignty,lol best one

Mohsin Siddiqui Sep 04, 2013 02:08pm

Ah, the lonely voice of sanity in the Mamlaka Al Bakistania (Kingdom of Pakistan).

Funny how our "Ulema" ignore the news when Saudi foreign policy promotes terrorism.

Akram Sep 04, 2013 02:19pm

hilarious as usual...

obaid Ahmed Sep 04, 2013 02:25pm

the picure shown above is the pic of "Bud Spencer" a famous holly wood actor. and the second picture is not of Zohair Toru. Baseless Story.

ahmed Sep 04, 2013 02:26pm

Piece de resistance

Aziz Sep 04, 2013 02:28pm

@Sonal: we will probably become a self-respecting country if we knew the answer.

Omar Sep 04, 2013 02:39pm

ha ha! Bud Spencer!

Muhammad Ali Shan Sep 04, 2013 02:52pm

Is this a joke? This is the most ridiculous story about a raid. What the hell is about camels.

Sayeed Alatf Hussein Sep 04, 2013 03:01pm

one of the best blog I have read in long time. It just shows that the religious and PTI have no idea what is going on in the country. They are a bunch on nutter and are in politics for their own benefit yet have no idea about politics.

Zia ur rehman Sep 04, 2013 03:03pm

Good fun made of our sovereignity by our long time allies..America and Saudi Arabia

Arsalan Sep 04, 2013 03:14pm

@the great: did you happen to author lyrics of Eye to Eye by any chance?

Tariq Sep 04, 2013 03:14pm

A hilarious script for a cartoon movie!

milli Sep 04, 2013 03:25pm

And PTI protested that Pakistani sovereignty had been violated because the helicopters were American, but soon changed their mind when they were told the camels were Pakistani, until the camels were found to be indian in origin and could not operate in he hilly areas of Murree. The Pakistani military spokesman said they have no knowledge of any foreign camels on Pakistani territory, our borders are secure and our defences impregnible!!

krishnan Sep 04, 2013 03:49pm

Funny as usual.On a serious note,I heard a Russian commentator based in London accusing a Saudi Prince of telling Putin that if Assad is dumped, there would be no trouble from Chechen militants during the Olympics in Russia.This was on RT T.V.I hope the Saudis rebut this convincingly!

Zeeshan Sep 04, 2013 03:55pm


shakil Sep 04, 2013 03:58pm

Another thrilling story like Usama's one.

HZK Sep 04, 2013 04:08pm

"However, they were soon deported by the Saudi regime for violating Saudi sovereignty"

The ending was hilarious.

Tahir M Sep 04, 2013 04:11pm

Ghani Sep 04, 2013 04:10pm

@obaid Ahmed: It's SATIRE, dim-wit.

Robert Sep 04, 2013 04:25pm

This is a humorous story. It is a JOKE, not a true story. OK? Get it?

sanjay mittal Sep 04, 2013 04:31pm

A perfect way to end the day for me! Good vintage NFP. ENough spice to make me smile.

On a serious note, a message to some Pakistanis to get over this hangover of being inferior to the Saudis, based on the notion that Saudis would be purer Muslims just because they are in Saudi Arabia!

Surely NFP you must do a film script. WIth Gen Zia, Zain Hamid, camels and your pot pouri of characters!

And as always your gentle humanistic messages always do get through.

Robert Sep 04, 2013 04:33pm


Sajjad Kazmi Sep 04, 2013 04:51pm

Doesn't make any difference whether Saudis or Americans (same thing)... But the point is how the Molvis change their statement and in case of Saudia, Pakistan don't have any sovereignty issue??? WoW what a dual sovereignty Pakistan has... Shame on us.

G.A. Sep 04, 2013 04:59pm

It is this same Saudi stranglehold on Pakistani minds that they willingly accept nasheeds as the only 'musical group' performing at so called Muslim festivals in the West. Majority of the attendees have no problem watching Bollywood otherwise. Muslims are being misrepresented by these mullah-organized festivals.

G.A. Sep 04, 2013 05:02pm

@sanjay mittal: Fully agree with you regarding the Saudi hold on Pakistani minds. I came across young Pakistani men in the West selling white robes that Saudi men wear because he said 'Ramadan is coming up'. What is wrong with Pakistani national dress that young Pakistanis are promoting Saudi ones?

Zeeshan Shamsi Sep 04, 2013 05:07pm

NFP, I don't know what makes you write what you write, but keep on writing! hilarious as usual!

Alian Sep 04, 2013 05:17pm


don't follow these Molvies please.They and Saudis r pushing us in the darkness of ignorance.

marli Sep 04, 2013 05:18pm

It must have been funny, it looks more like from a comic. They landed on the hill got on the camels and took two days to reach Muree :-)

If some one reads it he will kill himself laughing.

AHA Sep 04, 2013 05:36pm

@Alian: Aren't we there (in absolute darkness of 'un-reason') already.

Syed Arbab Ahmed Sep 04, 2013 05:38pm

Saudi operation will neither be welcoming as said by the writer but certainly it will not taken as seriously as the operation taken by USA, but no one except Pakistan must be allowed for any operation within Pakistan.

khanm Sep 04, 2013 05:40pm

@Sajjad Kazmi: Sovereignty must not be used for inflicting harm on anyone, whether citizen or foreigner.

Oshkosh Sep 04, 2013 05:48pm

@the great: please go back to grammer school before come on this website.

Omar Yousaf Sep 04, 2013 05:56pm

fantastic read... loved it.... wish i could think like you do :)

Gulbaz Mushtaq Sep 04, 2013 06:01pm

Masha'Allah .. Jazak'Allah.

yasir Sep 04, 2013 06:13pm

its very shameful that the foreign forces are operating in Pakistan.

Saudi forces have no right to intrude in our country and pick the person.

AP Sep 04, 2013 06:17pm

@Sonal: Its a Middle eastern country located in South Asia.!

Taha Lateef Sep 04, 2013 06:50pm


Taha Lateef Sep 04, 2013 06:52pm


Imran Sep 04, 2013 07:04pm

NFP needs to visit Lahore. What is with the people using Al-Bakistan number plates and large tigers printed on rear glass of their vehicles. A NFP blog is a must on this topic.

Dan Sep 04, 2013 07:05pm

Funny, but very true, that's what happening in Islamic country.

@H__3 Sep 04, 2013 07:04pm

@NFP Marhaba! =)

camel khan Sep 04, 2013 07:36pm

El Borracho zindabad

Syed Sep 04, 2013 07:43pm

Wonderful writeup, in a humourous way you mananged to reflect the true situation of our 'Muslim Ummah' Shukran ya Habibi. Habibi Hayya Hayya

Qaiser Bakhtiari Sep 04, 2013 07:56pm

@Sonal: We are a wanna be middle eastern country. Our women even dress like Arab women now. however the Arab men and women kind of think of us as Servants and we are ok with that.

Ali Wahab Sep 04, 2013 08:10pm

Always a fan of NFP but I think even in criticizing the Saudis or rather cracking a joke, this was a little over the top. Liked reading it, but not loved it

Noor Sep 04, 2013 08:10pm

@Sajjad Kazmi: It is joke

Ali Sep 04, 2013 08:12pm

Saudi Response: Al Paracha , Al wahidi phee bakistani, anti wahabi, anti JI, JUI,

Hats off to you man, awesome job, please keep writing

Noor Sep 04, 2013 08:11pm

@pakone: Perfect U hit right on the nail .100000000%correct

Nazish Sep 04, 2013 08:18pm

Loved every bit of it. Btw, why no comments on the last pic? Of US and Israel. It says so much. Dr.Evil and Minime. :)

ali Sep 04, 2013 08:23pm

hilarious....However, they were soon deported by the Saudi regime for violating Saudi sovereignty....laughing my butt off

Karachi Wala Sep 04, 2013 08:28pm


"How stupid is this nation. Saudis are bigger enemies of Pakistan than the Americans".

I disagree with you. Pakistanis are their own biggest enemies Bigger than American and Saudis combined.

yaqoot Sep 04, 2013 08:33pm


Raja Sep 04, 2013 08:36pm

@ Sonal, Pakistan was never a middle eastern country, but we would like to associate with middle east rather that calling it a third world country.

BRR Sep 04, 2013 09:09pm

Glimpses of old NFP again - very funny indeed, and genuinely hilarious without seeming repetitive. A new take on the old Pakistani penchant for praising and imbibing without question all things Saudi.

arif Sep 04, 2013 09:09pm

@Qaiser Bakhtiari:

I saw in Muscat Omani Police arresting illegal bangladeshis and pakistanis and beating them on the street mercilessly, something people do not do even to their animals. You have to see to believe this. This universal claim of ummah is so utterly rubbish but most Muslims believe it in the name of religion. Silly people.

Breaking Bad Sep 04, 2013 09:15pm

Paki youth in North America love the long saudi outfit over their jeans shorts tshirt

ANG Sep 04, 2013 09:15pm

NFP at his best. Can not stop laughing. Write a novel on Pakistani society and hypocrisy with in, you are Mantoo of our times. Stay blessed.

Salma Kamal Sep 04, 2013 09:24pm


rokkii69 Sep 04, 2013 09:29pm


Badar Sep 04, 2013 09:30pm

Probably best way to explain out mind set.Sad state of affairs.

Bappan Ghosh Sep 04, 2013 11:20pm

Sad but true and therefore funny


Chaigram Sep 04, 2013 11:27pm

And I thought this was true and live reporting!!

Parvez Sep 04, 2013 11:40pm

Are you sure they got him ??.......because it seems he's high-jacked my comment. Well I've laughed so much that it really does not matter.

Anmol Sep 04, 2013 11:41pm


A> Khan Sep 04, 2013 11:41pm

NFP, you have blown your chances of ever visiting the KSA, let alone getting an iqama.

But the part of about our religious parties changing their tune is hilarious and so true.

Anmol Sep 04, 2013 11:42pm


mirza shah Sep 05, 2013 12:16am

Hilarious ! I enjoyed it a lot. I await more in this style.

Ahmee Sep 05, 2013 12:22am

Masterpiece...Can some body read it/ Play it on Air...

I recommed a poll Aamir Liaqat Ali Pgm Vs This Play...

Guess What??? Aamir Won and for that reason we are what we are today!!!

Hadi Rashid Sep 05, 2013 12:28am

Another masterpiece! Hilarious stuff

Aftab Kenneth Wilson Sep 05, 2013 12:55am

Outstanding. Before reading this I was too much tense due to variety of reasons but later each line thus wrote made me laugh through out. You are always on point. Keep it up.

A-1 Sep 05, 2013 01:12am

@Ali: Al Baracha :)

Jaihind Sep 05, 2013 01:14am

When JUI and JI found that there was a raid by non-pakistanis (assumed to be Americans..) they shouted USA down, down and Jarar is a freedom fighter... When found, Saudis got him, all praise to Saudis for getting the non-Muslim and extremist. This full circle amply explains the mindset of rulers, institutions, associations, religious groups within Pakistan... Oh, patriots, please wake-up for your betterment and call a spade just as spade and don't change tunes (cheat your conscience).

Doc Sep 05, 2013 01:17am


rush Sep 05, 2013 01:29am

NFP u r superlatively the BEST the subcontinent as produced in recent times ! kudos ... i died laughing ! alhumduliilah

Bahadar Ali Khan Sep 05, 2013 01:35am

Amazing NFP! I wrote on my blog on the similar subject on Pakistan independence day. Of course I don't have a mighty pen like NFP.

Shujaat Khan Sep 05, 2013 01:37am

NFP you are the best.

S Bara Sep 05, 2013 02:13am

What if they actually were American and not Saudi.

S Bara Sep 05, 2013 02:16am

@Alian: The Americans will be blamed again for killing innocent people.

Jupiter59 Sep 05, 2013 02:55am

Superb parody on the "Wahabis".

G.A. Sep 05, 2013 03:20am

Of course the Saudi-Islam inspired jihadists will play havoc in Muslim societies thus paving the way for foreign occupations. They are willing accomplices and will be responsible for recolonizing of Muslim nations.

Ruhul Sep 05, 2013 03:27am

Excellent comedy script for a Hollywood comedy, like the "Three Amigos"--played by JUI, JI, PTI

bangash Sep 05, 2013 04:03am

Very funny and superbly relevant to Pakistan. Thanks

NASAH (USA) Sep 05, 2013 04:03am

What happened to JI and JUI guys -- when it finally turned out that American Seals wearing Saudi Special Forces uniforms -- captured Jarara -- were the two hospitalized?

T Sep 05, 2013 04:05am

Godspeed NFP

Fawad Sep 05, 2013 05:43am

Were the Camel riders really speaking ARABIC...? LOL

AC Sep 05, 2013 06:41am

Amazing!!! I don't know how he get the courage to be so bold on these Jihadis, while in Pakistan?

Yemeen Zuberi Sep 05, 2013 06:57am

NFP, you have made them, no! They have made themselves laughing stock.

Amit Sep 05, 2013 07:37am

You are an evil man with a really evil sense of humour. Any chance of coming over to India - quite a few balloons that need to be pricked over here...

Editor at Sep 05, 2013 07:56am

Thanks for this. There are better ways from getting kicked off the "you are always welcome" list in KSA and USA :)

shaukat Sep 05, 2013 07:56am

@Ali Wahab: Saudi Destroyed Pakistan.

Hassan Sep 05, 2013 08:01am

NFP is becoming a paradigm in his own right; I have started associating the concept of satire in Pakistan with him. Once again, a nice piece from NFP. Cheers.

Ayub khattak Sep 05, 2013 08:13am

@arif: Christianity preaches to offer the other cheek. Bush / US Government have been killing innocent people in Iraq, Afghanistan, Egypt & now Syria but never offered the other cheek would this make us condemn Christianity?

khan khan Sep 05, 2013 08:32am

We should be proud of our Indus civilization. We are not Arab and never pretend to be one.

TamzaK Sep 05, 2013 08:35am

It isnt April fools day today ... and this is not the Onion, is it?

Hami kahn Sep 05, 2013 08:56am

NFP it was really the best of best, if someone see the our country situation from insight. The society is bifurcated one tends to become Saudi not islamic, while the other tends to become American not modern scientific, thus our Pakistani identity baffles around merely to a cricket match with Indians, not than that. One of the best comic I read these days ... welldone NFP

karim Sep 05, 2013 09:17am

@Ayub khattak: So do you think that we should let Syrian muslims kill each other and keep our eyes closed?

dr vimal raina Sep 05, 2013 09:18am

Would not be surprised if such a raid and the events post that raid would happen in real.

U. Habib Sep 05, 2013 09:36am

Nadeem presented a quite interesting and probable scenario but missed out the real moral of the saga. The moral evidently is that the Americans can safely launch a campaign to crush terrorism through Saudi operatives. Habib

tariq shah Sep 05, 2013 09:39am

hahaha! too funny, i was not sure but it soon became obvious....thanks for pointing the ridiculous direction our country is headed, directed by fools posing as leaders and scholars. they are donkeys.

pakistan Sep 05, 2013 11:03am

@khan khan: We should be learning the lessons from the past and not to repeat the same mistakes. We should be proud if we are good human beings and help the needy people around us as much as we can, don't you think?

KASHIF Sep 05, 2013 11:01am

Excellent work Nadeem....but you missed our one thing in your article....i.e. the TV channel repeated the same news hundred thousand time and kept on repeating until they find another news....

Sohaib Sep 05, 2013 11:12am

I dont know why followers of religious parties do not question their leaders !!!!

Hemant Sep 05, 2013 11:24am

NFP writes exceedingly well. Have grown up reading staricial pieces by Jug Suriya and Bacchi Kakarkiya in Times of India but can say unhesisttingly that NFP is miles ahead . Do syndicate your column to a few Indian papers . You deserve a much wider audience and the wider audience will only gain from your unique style of writing . God bless and keep writing .

jomoom Sep 05, 2013 12:56pm

May be this was the part of their training,,,,,,lols

Idealist Sep 05, 2013 01:31pm

@obaid Ahmed: You are cheery on top of this article :) rofl

R.Albuquerque Sep 05, 2013 01:56pm

Nadeem - you are walking a tight rope in a country where your humour would be mis-understood. You will be better off here in Australia - Cheers and carry on with care!

Afia Mansoor Sep 05, 2013 02:44pm

I started reading this without having looked at the author's name thinking it was a serious piece of news... then i went back looking up knowing it must be NFP... Hilarious!!!

atts Sep 05, 2013 03:06pm

too good, NFP rocks

SUNIL Sep 05, 2013 03:16pm

Nadeem You are wasting your talents in Pakistan. You are simply too good.

EQ8Rhomes Sep 05, 2013 04:42pm

I tried to email the Jara fisco story to my wife, but it failed TWICE! Is this an indication of Dawn's embarrassment?

Tahir M Sep 05, 2013 05:15pm

Mr Paracha with your takes on KSA and UAE, I wonder if you are barred from entering these countries. You are missing out and could be making millions petro-dollars if you aligned your stance with that of Zakir Naik (you know the one of the verse number, page number, line number so and so fame) and shared the same rostrum giving auditions there.

Or as the Arabs say

Mohammed Yusaf KHan Sep 05, 2013 05:18pm

I can't stop laughing!!

Waqar Sep 05, 2013 05:43pm

WTF?? This is hilarious :D

Asim Zafar Sep 05, 2013 06:08pm

Looks like Bud Spencer !

Irfan Butt Sep 05, 2013 06:26pm

Only in your dreams NFP, only in your dreams!

Sunny Sep 05, 2013 06:26pm

@SUNIL:Jealous much? :)

Ghostrider Sep 05, 2013 06:47pm

@SUNIL: Uncle he is better off over here...actually anything coming out of Pakistan is too good for Indian standards...raise your standards

muhammad Sep 05, 2013 07:26pm

@Ayub khattak: US beating all these countries on the behest of Saudi Arabia what say about it......

Clement Michael Sep 05, 2013 07:38pm

Amazing I just couldn't stop deserve a wider audience. keep it up.

ailly Sep 05, 2013 08:03pm

only some journalist claimed he is 'most wanted' any one heard about him earlier ? please guide me on this issue. thanks.

Allan Sep 05, 2013 08:24pm

When I first read this, i thought it was serious piece then I discovered it was NFP writing it and laughed. Then I got serious again because in reality it is not far from the truth.

AHA Sep 05, 2013 08:44pm

@SUNIL: Pakistan needs NFP and his likes. NFP is a true patriot.

AHA Sep 05, 2013 08:45pm

@Sohaib: "Fllowers of religious parties do not question their leaders" because followers of religion are preached not to question. The follower just follow, and the leaders .... they do what that do.

Sameer Sep 05, 2013 09:00pm

What a fantastic piece of Satire. Please write for Indian newspapers as well.Fed up with rudimentary stuff.

Khalif Sep 05, 2013 09:13pm

This article is a warning bell for sure! The educators in our country should work hard to make sure there is no one like NFP in the next generation. We cannot have smart funny satirists; we would rather have everyone nodding to what the "leaders" say and cry down-down-america (probably not in English)!!

bob Sep 05, 2013 09:22pm

Its Americans that captured that criminal. Saudi's can't even catch a mouse.

Alamin lemmens Sep 05, 2013 11:16pm

Wow I wonder if the camels really fly in daylight. What was whole of NWF people and government doing? I can't stop laughing at this drama

RAJA Sep 06, 2013 12:50am

MR NFP is the gem, he is damn good.

AbbasToronto Sep 06, 2013 02:54am

It is one of the most dramatic beginning for an NFP piece. Taking it for a serious piece of news, only down the middle I burst out laughing. Then I went back to see who the author was.

Innocently reading the first paragraph my chest puffed up with pride! So the training of our Pak military had paid off.

During the 1980s Pak Army was on contract with Saudi Arabia, milking them royally before the 9/11 opportunity arose.

In 1986 I spent half a year in Riyadh and heard this hilarious tale from a Pak Colonel. Trench time is a part of training, but the Saudi recruits adamantly refused to enter them until they were AIR-CONDITIONED.

No wonder the Saudis invited the yanks to save them from Saddam, and are now pushing them again to save them from Iran and Syria.

One other tit-bit from that stay. The Saudis treated the workers from India, Bangladesh, Pakistan, Philippines, with disdain, occasionally beating them with impunity. While others would take it lying down, Pakistanis, especially our brethren from KPK, would hit back hard irrespective of the consequences (=certain expulsion), giving the smaller Saudis a taste of their own medicine. Honour matters more than money. Thank you KPK.

Sonal Sep 06, 2013 02:57am


You wish :)

Ash Sep 06, 2013 03:51am

ROLF , this was the most entertaining thing i have read in a while.

ayesha shaikh Sep 06, 2013 05:40am

We are a soverign nation and we need to now take command and control of our country. Nawaz Sharif if he allowed KSA to do this is embarassing as KSA is subjugated to the Americans. KSA can use their bases in Raiwind and help Americans enter to take out our deterrant power capability. Already Syria, KSA has a common goal with Israel. We should be weary of Saudi goals since they need to eliminate Islamic governance and power in Syria, Egypt and Pakistan. Its the only way the puppet Saudi regime will survive.

Kamran Sep 06, 2013 06:30am

Brilliant, exposes the true face of the nation

A. Khan Sep 06, 2013 06:36am

@Muhammad Ali Shan: Its satire and you sir, are an idiot.

Anoosh Khan Sep 06, 2013 08:46am

I was actually laughing out loud while reading! A brilliant piece of satire!

farrukh Sep 06, 2013 10:01am

@AbbasToronto: where is the hilarious part

Haider Sep 06, 2013 10:11am

Awesome & bold! NFP now you will be never given a visa for Umrah & Hajj.

Sanjeev Yadav Sep 06, 2013 11:57am

Does Saudi Arabia has any special force? Could ever be?

insomniac Sep 06, 2013 12:11pm

@AbbasToronto: lol.. .living in your own pride bubble, ain't you .. Saudis beat up indians, pakistanis, bangladeshis, indoneshians but only pakistanis retaliated.. rofl.. sure cracked me up and may be other folks too this morning sir.... you doing a service by lightening things up a bit in this stress out world.

Asghar Hassan Sep 06, 2013 12:23pm

Lol halfway down the article I realized this must be a joke and scrolled up to see it was NFP. Great piece sir... It has soo much truth if looked at in a deeper sense. Wish we would all wake up and do something. Every passing day we are becoming a lost cause... So unfortunate...

observer Sep 06, 2013 12:39pm

Take a bow NFP.

You see the future too clearly.

Abdullah Khan Sep 06, 2013 03:01pm

Simply excellent....!

Abdullah Khan Sep 06, 2013 03:02pm

@Asghar Hassan: same happened to me as well. NFP's one of the best pieces I can say.

ali Sep 06, 2013 03:37pm

NFP you are great

Burjor Rustomji Sep 06, 2013 05:43pm

Quite impossible to believe.

msajjad Sep 06, 2013 06:09pm

Simply hilarious,enjoyable

Vijay@toronto Sep 06, 2013 06:18pm

@Fawad: Camel riders were speaking English; it's the camels that were speaking Arabic!