Overpopulation is a serious issue, particularly considering that our natural resources are being drained at an unsustainable rate. We are already facing the consequences of overpopulation including poverty, a rise in unemployment, and water scarcity to name a few. It is imperative to address the impact of the population explosion on nature and society as a whole.

The expanding populace also sheds light on issues pertaining to pregnancy, childbirth, gender equality, and maternal wellbeing more than ever. We must encourage each other to opt for smaller families and empower those who don’t have that choice. Eight billion people means 8 billion opportunities for healthier societies empowered by rights and choices!

It’s about time that we practice and advocate the importance of family planning and the use of contraception. This will help each individual to make informed decisions. Further measures to control population growth needs to be put in action to avoid catastrophic results. Here’s to moving towards a healthy and resilient Pakistan together!

PSI in Pakistan

PSI Pakistan and its local implementing partners - Greenstar Social Marketing (GSM), Health and Nutri­tion Development Society (HANDS), and the Rural Support Programmes Network (RSPN), implement the social marketing and community mobilisation component of the “Delivering Accele­rated Family Planning in Pakistan” (DAFPAK) programme funded by the Foreign, Commonwealth & Development Office (FCDO). MOMENTUM Private Healt­hcare Delivery (MPHD) is another project that PSI Pakistan is engaged in, funded by the United States Agency for International Development (USAID).

The team operates in rural and urban areas, working through private providers, in partnership with the public and commercial sectors to remedy the population crisis through the increase of male engagement in family planning, improvements in maternal and newborn health and reduction of unintended and high-risk pregnancies.

Message

Ayesha Leghari
Country Director

IT’S 2022, health-tech and interventions have made leaps and bounds over the past few decades. Pakistan may still be lagging behind in terms of advancement, but one may say that the efforts of the health sector have led to a reduction in child mortality, maternal deaths and an increase in life expectancy (World Bank); culminating in a steadily growing population. While these are significant achievements, we aren’t ready to celebrate just yet.

There is still much room for improvement in nationwide infrastructure and sustainability — there shouldn’t be more people than we can feed and clothe. This applies to all developing countries as a whole, down to each nuclear family. With inflation rising exponentially in addition to unending political instability, we must plan our futures carefully. This is an on-going effort; awareness and the implementation of family planning in Pakistan is needed now, more than ever before.

The population crisis is not an isolated issue; it’s affecting all of us. Hence, we need to tackle this together, as a nation. We need to think carefully about the size of our families and urge people around us to do the same. This problem will not go away on its own, we need to actively work towards its solution. It can start with simple conversations at home, with our friends and in the workplace. Charity begins at home, and so does family planning.

SOCIAL media is replete with examples of people pushing and pulling each other to grab discounts when a sale at a high-end brand opens up. I remember a social media post from a girl whose dress was being pulled at a high-end store during sale time until she screamed that she was wearing it and it was not a sale item. The sight of the crowd rushing violently to grab discounts resembles the herd of bulls running wildly at the San Fermin festival.

Brands offer discounts to draw customers to their stores, put themselves in the limelight and increase their profits. When you walk up to a shopping mall, you will see many outlets running sales. This is because the presence of a sale sign, even without a price reduction, has the potential to help pocket more profits. Javaria Sohaib, a Pakistani national now living in Cambodia, does not shop during the sale spree specifically. However, she tries to grab the discount if she notices a sale going on during her regular visits to malls. She says sometimes brands offer good discounts on quality products, whereas other times they just put poor quality products on sale. “On the contrary, foreign countries offer sale on original items but they have an equal number of people going crazy over them like we see in Pakistan.”

The profit earned during this sale season can be estimated from the fact that brands now design exclusive advertisements promoting their sales via hoardings, print, electronic and social media. Brands tease shoppers with previews, brew up their anticipation, and try to lure them with special online deals and flash sales.

Sania Fatima of Karachi believes brands offer good bargains during sale time. She supports the sale trend because people who can’t buy things in actual prices can make the most of sales. “While these discounts have brought high-end brand within the reach of common man, it has increased brand consciousness among people, particularly the middle-income group,” she adds.

Yasmeen Asghar of Karachi believes foreign countries offer amazing reductions in prices; hence people wait for Black Friday or holiday season to grab discounts. She believes that sales in Pakistan are not genuine. “Brands offer sale just to make good money. They increase prices before placing items on sale and then reduce prices as sale items,” she remarks.

It may well be a psychological thing more than anything else, but the word ‘sale’ has its magic that has survived the test of time. It makes people rush to grab what they might not even need. They feel good. The brands feel better!

The prices mentioned on the tags affect customers because of various factors such as how often they visit the store, how much they spend, and their ability and willingness to retain, process and recall prices. A research conducted on consumer behaviour reveals that consumers have a price reference in their minds based on their previous experiences with a brand, competitor brands, or similar products. This reference plays a key role in determining changing market prices and a good value on discounts. Consumers consider something as a “good deal” if its internal reference price in their minds is higher than the sale price.

The decision to make a purchase also depends upon the “differential price threshold” – the minimum amount required to cause a change in perception, a study suggests. For instance: a dress priced at 4000 PKR may not attract a customer with a five per cent discount tag but the same customer may find it a good deal with a 20 per cent discount. According to studies, this 20 per cent discount attracts customers because it changes the left-most digit in the price from a 4 to 3 (4000 PKR to 3200 PKR). According to a research, the left-most digit is very important in price perception – that’s why so many discounts end at 99 cents.

Online shopping is the best solution to avoid the crazy crowd and catch the deal at the same time. Ayesha Shamoon feels that it is good to buy online during the sale season as in-store shopping becomes a hassle because of the crowd. She believes that offering discount is a great marketing strategy for brands to get rid of the old stock before the new stock hits the shelves.

Neha Zubair, too, makes the most of these discounts through online shopping. While she has not faced any single quality issue on sale items she wonders how sale items, sometimes, end within few minutes of being up on sale. The young shopaholic believes that sometimes brands accept more orders than the stock present hence cancelling them later cause inconvenience to the customers. She regards Sapphire’s 70% off to be the best of all bargains offered by any brand.

Like Neha, many people wonder about those who barge high-end stores during the sale and empty the stock within just few hours. While some from this crazy crowd are genuine customers, others are home-based retailers. These discounts have paved way for a new segment of small merchants who shop like crazy during the sale, stock items of all sizes and later sell them online making more profits. “Those who miss the sale of renowned brands can still get some items from these home-based sellers at discounted prices,” says Sara Salman.

Sometimes, these discounts lure customers into buying things they don’t even need. This race of offering discounts has stirred a competition among brands of offering the most bargains which goes in favour of the customers. Baneen Fatima believes that it all depends on the eyes of the purchaser to pick and select a great item from sale. She believes that these sales have made brands affordable for people who cannot make purchases from these brands otherwise.

“But sometimes brands just play with the minds of customers and keep the price same or decrease them slightly under the big tags of sale. In reality they don’t offer discounts,” believes Kehkashan Khan.

In the discount game, brands can appear as winners or losers; it all depends upon the timing on the discount besides other factors. Besides seasonal discounts for stock clearance, brands offer special discounts on special festivals such as Eid. But people lament that while they get good bargains during their religious festivals in a foreign land, brands in Pakistan raise the prices of each commodity to cash in on opportunity. Dure Shahwar Zaidi, a resident of Sadiqabad, believes that sales in Pakistan are not real sales because brands offer outdated products or off-season clothes on discounts. However, unstitched clothes of some brands are better, she adds. She considers herself among the minority group which doesn’t get attracted to sales as she has witnessed ladies pulling each others’ hair during the Sapphire sale. She laments that brands raise the prices of their products during Ramadan or Eid season, whereas the products during Black Friday or Christmas in foreign countries are actually available on discounts.

But why do people fall to the sale hype? Experts believe that a great deal triggers a psychological pleasure of joy. Limited time sale creates a sense of urgency among the people and compel them to buy. Sometimes, grabbing a great deal makes a customer feel superior and they are swept away with the hype. Whatever the reason, sales and discounts bring in fresh customers, improve a brand’s reputation and increase sales across the board. It is a total win-win game for the brand.

MOST people believe that the trend of visiting malls has been on the rise of late. “It’s so convenient. You go to one place and can buy everything you want, and have a variety of food and children’s entertainment options. Moreover, they are a place to see and be seen and where the entire family can go; it allows people to appear socially upwardly mobile,” says Afia Salam, a journalist.

During the past few years more and more people have taken to shopping at malls rather than going to conventional markets. And it is not just for branded clothes, shoes and bags — from household goods to books and stationery supplies to grocery everything is available and can be bought at competitive rates.

Malls provide a combination of shopping possibilities, eating opportunities, family entertainment, easy parking, central air conditioning plus a clean conducive environment. And this has helped in developing a culture of malls in our urban centres.

Over the last few years, the culture of shopping malls has become popular in the country, not only in large cities which were the trendsetters but also in smaller cities such as Sheikhupura, Gujranwala and Hyderabad which are fast catching up.

It may not be possible to say exactly when the first mall opened its doors to public in the country but it can comfortably be said that malls started to make their appearance during the late 90s.

However, it took some time for people to get used to the idea of shopping at a mall. As they say ‘old habits die hard’ — people were used to the conventional markets and many thought that prices would be inflated at the malls because of larger area, security and air conditioning, etc. So in the beginning few people visited these malls. But the convenience and a different shopping experience drew the crowds and malls began to thrive. And people discovered that the prices of recognised brands are the same as at outlets other than in malls.

As Tarrannum Elahi, a yoga expert, puts it, “Mall culture is about convenience. You can get almost everything — from kitchen dusters to electronic items — under one roof. One doesn’t have to go to different places. There are no parking hassles as malls have their own parking, often with valet service, and once inside it is cool and clean, whereas the other markets are neither that clean or spacious. You have to park sometimes very far and walk in the dust and heat to reach the market.”

Many would agree that a mall is more than just a shopping place now. People can, and do, indulge in window shopping, browse around and see what is new, spend some time at the food court relaxing with friends over a cup of coffee or snacks whereas the children enjoy the play area. It is a place to meet and greet.

Erum Hafeez, a professor at a private university, believes, “Many people these days from middle and upper classes prefer malls rather than ordinary markets as they find them cool and convenient. I would rather say that mostly brand conscious people opt for malls over open markets as they think that malls provide a wide range of brands under one roof in air conditioned, cosy environment. So it’s both convenient and classy for them to shop from there.”

“Shopping at malls is also a class conscious thing. Some people consider open markets cheap and below their status where one needs to walk under the sun in open air often through narrow and uneven pavements and alleys to reach the required shops,” she argues.

Many would agree that a mall is more than just a shopping place. People just don’t shop at malls. Visiting malls is a pastime for many, as you can indulge in window shopping, browse around and see what is new, spend some time at the food court or a restaurant within the mall relaxing with friends over a cup of coffee or snacks whereas the children enjoy the play area. For them it is a place to meet and greet people, spend leisurely hours at a safe and comfortable place. In summers with frequent power failures people take to visiting malls as they are centrally air conditioned and provide a respite from the stifling heat.

“Among many reasons for shopping at malls, the main is, of course, the convenience,” says Rubab, who works at a private bank. “You get most of the things under one roof. For instance, if I am shopping for clothes, almost all brands have their outlets there and I can pick and choose without having to go out and look for parking or walk on the road and broken footpaths.” Going from shop to shop at markets such as Tariq Road or Zamzama poses other problems too. You not only have to walk on footpaths which may or may not be paved but “getting out from an air conditioned shop in the open sun and then entering another air conditioned shop is also a health hazard,” says Rubab, who is never satisfied unless she visits at least half a dozen shops for one thing. “Security is another factor that draws me to malls. You can roam around for hours in a mall and not have to fear about being robbed at a gun point.”

Lately, it is being seen that young people, especially girls, have taken to meet their friends at the food courts within the malls. “This way we can spend time in a safe and secure place and if anyone needs anything we can shop as well,” says Tania, a recent graduate.

Sana Zaidi, mother of three, prefers shopping at malls, especially when she has to shop for her three children. “It’s safer and convenient. We get everything under one roof and the children don’t complain of heat and crowd,” she says. “And when tired we can relax in the food court and the younger one can entertain himself at the play area.”

When asked if it is not heavy on the pocket or doesn’t she end up buying things she doesn’t really need, she agrees that it is and she does. “With the availability of everything at one location I often tend to buy things that are not on my initial shopping list,” she says. “Given the variety available, children want to buy things which are not needed and often one has to relent. To how many things one can say no to his/her child? Also the eateries at the food court are not inexpensive. While I am satisfied that they are hygienic, the satisfaction comes with a price,” she adds.

Sana, who has a marketing degree, outlines the factors behind the rising mall culture. “When cities lack entertainment facilities, outdoor activities and security at open places, people start giving preference to malls over markets. The retailers benefit as when people come to spend time they are bound to shop as well. Availability of disposable income is another factor — no matter how much we complain about inflation there is a section of society that is not short of disposable income,” explains Sana.

When asked why all major brands have their outlets in almost all malls as often many people are not seen shopping there, using her marketing experience, she says, “Brands have to show their presence and they maintain their outlets on the assumption that someone can decide to take a look and end up making a purchase.”

However everyone is not pleased with the growing mall culture, and there are many who prefer the good old conventional markets, especially for unbranded items. Maryam, an advertising executive, is fond of markets than malls. “I like the convenience of shopping at malls but I often visit old markets such as Empress Market for groceries etc.,” she says.

Shazia, a housewife, agrees with her. “I agree it is convenient but visiting conventional markets has a charm of its own,” she says. “You don’t buy branded stuff all the time. What if you need a matching or accessories for a shirt or dupatta or get a dupatta dyed?” she asks. “If you are shopping at Bohri Bazaar or Tariq Road you can forage for these things, and even find amazing knickknacks you are not even looking for.”

She recalls the good old days when markets such as Tariq Road in Karachi, Resham Gali in Hyderabad and Anakali in Lahore used to be shoppers’ paradise, and wonders if these places are going to fade out. But then though these may be losing their appeal, there are many things that forces one to visit conventional markets. “Would you find a dupatta galli in any of the malls? Or knitting wool or embroidery threads? Or for that matter, even an embroidery wala or even a tailor? If you are a creative person and in the habit of designing your own clothes, malls are not for you. As for snacks and refreshments, there’s no shortage of these at conventional markets too — samosa, bun kabab and ice cream are all available,” she says.

But then only few people need these things or have the time to indulge in such activities. Availability of ready-to-wear and branded items has changed people’s choices and preferences. So, saying that it’s a matter of choice and depends on what you want to buy would not be wrong.

With the ever-growing community of cellular subscribers in Pakistan, the mobile banking industry has made great strides toward financial inclusion over the past decade, Pakistan has witnessed a remarkable telecom revolution, leading to a tremendous proliferation of cellular devices among the masses. Today, a majority of Pakistan’s population is using a mobile phone and has access to revolutionary connectivity, even in the remotest regions of Pakistan. Utilising the global network of innovative digital facilities, available in Pakistan, the progressive cellular and financial industries of Pakistan, together, have made fascinating breakthroughs in mobile banking and digital transactions to empower people through financial inclusion.

The rising pace of development has given birth to new inventions and discoveries over the past few decades, creating unique experiences that were unmatched in centuries. The mode of conducting business operations across the world, including Pakistan, has transformed completely and next-generation commercial practices and procedures are being adopted, promising amazing agility, benefits and convenience to people. Consumers of today have the power to locate, procure and possess all kinds of merchandise or services, available anywhere in the world, within minutes.

Mobile banking and financial technologies offer instant remittances and bill payment solutions across the world. A wide variety of offerings have already been launched in Pakistan helping customers to make secured, diverse and convenient transactions with their mobile phones. Fin-tech holds immense potential and its scope can be broadened by simply establishing transactional understanding and delivery mechanisms among credible organisations across all industries.

Digital transactions have provided new ease to the ever-growing community of cellular subscribers in Pakistan, helping them to perform everyday tasks instantly, without any hassle. A customer in the digital age does not need to wait in long queues, go through tedious processes and can save his time for more productive tasks.

DIGITAL FINANCIAL SERVICES GAINING MOMENTUM IN PAKISTAN: The huge cluster of 100 million cellular users in Pakistan can act as a critical vehicle for mass communications.

Utilising the global network of innovative digital facilities available in Pakistan, cellular and financial sectors have together made fascinating breakthroughs in mobile banking and digital transactions to empower people through financial inclusion. It’s a whole new lifestyle.

In a country where 60 per cent of the population has mobile phone subscriptions and less than 22 per cent has formalised bank accounts, broad-based mobile financial services offer huge opportunities to expand mobile and branchless banking for accelerating national progress.

In March 2008, the State Bank of Pakistan was one of the first regulators in the world to introduce guidelines around branchless banking. The regulations were designed to encourage banks to be more inclusive in their product and service offerings by rolling out branchless banking services in underserved areas with large unbanked populations.

Since its introduction, the Mobile Financial Services (MFS) market in Pakistan has evolved from a couple of trail blazing deployments, to become a global case study for the MFS industry. Modern-day telecommunication technology has been a significant catalyst for mobile financial services uptake. Through various collaborations, participants have been able to think big, and accomplish superb results.

All the leading enterprises, manufacturing organisations, public-utility companies and financial institutions are rapidly joining this revolution to deliver next-level facilities and convenience to their consumers. Each day, millions of new facilities from across the globe are being added to the vast e-commerce domain.

According to media reports, branchless banking is a powerful medium for financial inclusion. Data shows that branchless banking in Pakistan is generating more than 2.5 million transactions daily, with over Rs. 10 billion in values transacted every day. The State Bank of Pakistan has also set ambitious targets for growth of digital transaction accounts.

To enjoy all the advantages of this global digital eco-system, a customer simply needs a mobile connection, a handset with Java and GPRS support, or a credit-card in some cases, to open an account in one of the participating banks or companies. This digital eco-system has special advantages for a developing country like Pakistan and is providing access to formal banking channels to the vast unbanked population of Pakistan.

HISTORY AND EVOLUTION OF MOBILE BANKING: Mobile banking has evolved dramatically through extensive innovation since its inception. During its formative years prior to 2004, customers used to experience numerous glitches in the operational procedures due to technical issues and insufficient capacity. Eventually, after 2004, when technical inadequacies were eliminated through decades of experimentation and meticulous adaptations, a seamless cohesion was achieved between telecommunication technologies, banking services and retail operations to streamline digital transactions and mobile banking operations.

The mobile banking sector has witnessed numerous pitfalls and innovative diversions throughout its journey. In 1999, the developed nations noticed this promising concept for the first time, when an enterprise named Paybox offered a basic payment solution in Germany, UK, Sweden, Austria and Spain, through its collaboration with Deutsche Bank. Quick and substantial progress was made by Paybox as it registered more than a million subscribers in four years.

Many other resourceful players launched initiatives and pilot projects to create effective mobile banking networks, each one adding more proficiency, security and convenience to this sophisticated eco-system. In 2003, Mobi Pago (Mobi Pay) was deployed through a Spanish initiative and was backed by Telephonica and BBVA. This venture achieved a quantum leap towards the successful implementation of mobile banking. For the first time, it effectively engaged all Spanish mobile-operators, financial institutions and retailers in its network. Therefore, it smoothly delivered unprecedented convenience to its customers all over Spain.

Several other mobile banking operations kept emerging at regular intervals. The popular vending machines installed at the Helsinki airport in Finland, were based on a system created by Nokia. Siemens in Germany, partnered with a resourceful e-commerce company – Brokat to create a broad-based mobile-banking initiative, whereby in 2002, Brokat won a lucrative contract with Vodafone. The superb performance of this project brought more finesse to make digital transaction networks more secure and trouble-free.

Another venture, Trivnet, has had tremendous success in Israel over the years, while Adamtech, another company in the same country, made a series of pilot deployments to offer Cellpay, a highly technical solution to the world. France Telecom launched several ambitious ventures in this regard. One of these French initiatives was backed by a specially integrated card-reading feature in a mobile phone. This solution was technically far more superior and secured than others. So, it gave a tremendous boost to the trust of consumers in mobile banking.

Digital payments and mobile banking industry promises a higher quality of life to the masses. With unwavering reliability and security, this industry has now matured enough to demonstrate paradigm shift, enabling a greater strategic impact on various global industries.

The global volume of mobile-based transactions and e-commerce is thus growing rapidly and its accessibility can virtually delete national borders and place the power of large volume trading, on the palm of your hand.

In order to stay competitive, Pakistan must continue to build a powerful and sustainable platform to support safe and accurate financial transactions using its vast mobile networks. Mobile Wallet is another convenient, secure and instant way to make online payments, providing an innovative solution to facilitate online consumers and merchants.

The e-commerce phenomenon in Pakistan has the potential to grow at 20 per cent annually. This will enable faster financial inclusion and poverty alleviation in the country, and make robust contributions to socio-economic growth. Helping the underprivileged masses to participate in the mainstream trade and business activity can create respectable livelihood opportunities for the masses, while also enabling regulated transactions and documentation of the economy. The underlying notion behind all such inventions is to place the “world” in people’s pockets.

These efforts are fostering a new culture, where financial institutions are placing their trust into the lower segments of society living in rural and remote regions and extending financial assistance to the impoverished but capable segment of consumers. Other important areas where such technology is playing a critical role include education and social services.

While financial inclusion offers endless opportunity for poverty alleviation, global education, mobile-health, mobile-agriculture, and empowerment of the masses, the real question is: how fast can we get there?

WE have all heard people complimenting and asking each other about their favourite brands. Be it a wedding or a formal dinner or just an informal gathering of friends, one would find the conversation, especially – though not exclusively – among women, soon drifting towards fashion and brands. In fact, a comment about someone’s dress or jewellery is a great conversation starter.

It seems brand consciousness has taken our society by a storm. Whether buying clothes, shoes, bags, cosmetics or any other item, we tend to go for popular brands. Using items of famous brands gives a sense of satisfaction to a large section of our society.

When it comes to items of day-to-day use, this trend has given rise to competition not only among the youngsters but also middle-aged men and women; everyone tries to buy branded items whether they can afford it or not.

“When you are looking for quality stuff, brands are safe,” says Tarrannum. “You know what you are buying. With unbranded items there is a risk involved. Personally, I like to buy what looks good and is not very expensive just because it is branded. I can buy several things instead of one in the same amount.”

For her, brand is just a status symbol. She thinks that since a lot of people are buying the same thing, there is nothing unique about branded stuff. “Buying random things makes you unique and you stand apart,” opines Tarrannum.

Saadia Reza puts it in a different light. “With me, it is more to do with brand loyalty than brand consciousness,” she says. “I tend to stick to brands that have worked for me in the past. In terms of choosing a brand, it depends a lot on what I am buying.

“When it comes to products related to hygiene — for instance, toiletries and cosmetics — as well as food items, I would definitely trust a good mid to high-end brand because I like to believe that they are selling a quality product. However, for something like clothes, I just buy whatever suits my fancy, irrespective of the label.

Whether buying clothes, shoes, bags, cosmetics or just about anything, people tend to go for popular brands apparently because it gives them a sense of satisfaction, if not pride.

“Having said that, I will definitely not spend an unreasonable and exorbitant amount on something simply because it is branded. At the end of the day, the purchase, whether it is a bottle of shampoo or dinner at a fancy restaurant, has to be its money’s worth,” clarifies Saadia.

Agreeing with people who believe that media has played a major role in spreading brand awareness and brand consciousness, Erum Hafeez says, “People these days are getting highly brand conscious — thanks to social media, online shopping and marketing industry.

“Online shopping and advertising has made brands accessible to masses. Increasing materialism and show-off approach often entice status conscious people, making them brand conscious.”

It is true that online shopping has brought foreign brands within the reach of many people as now they can order online the things for which they had to wait for some family member or an acquaintance to agree to send or bring for them when visiting.

In the past those who were not frequent travellers used to ask their family and friends abroad to send certain items of their choice. But it was not always possible. However, now they can browse and order whatever they want.

Whether she goes for branded stuff or not, Erum says, “Personally, I buy what appeals to me — both to my aesthetics and my budget. Brand or no brand, it doesn’t matter much. I often find quality stuff in unbranded items in the open market, whether it is clothes or other stuff, though I do not mind opting for some good brands if they offer quality at a reasonable price.”

Afia is practical in this. She prefers buying whatever she feels like. “There are very few brands that have earned my loyalty. I usually stay away from brands because of the price which I cannot justify spending on a single item even if I can afford it.”

Her point of view is proven correct when a couple of months in the season most branded clothes are available as copies or are on sale at the end of the season.

The craze for branded clothes takes a new dimension every summer when various brands launch their summer collection. Women visit these launch exhibitions in such large numbers that they exceed the hall capacity — not to mention the videos that have gone viral of fights breaking out at these exhibitions. And it is not that the items are on discount; they are high-end brands.

“Perhaps it is only in our society that people want to update their entire wardrobe every year and that too with highly priced branded wear, along with shoes and accessories,” says Farah.

“Why do we think that only latest branded clothes and shoes can make us look attractive and stylish,” she questions, adding that this race for brands is giving rise to competition and results in discontent among those who cannot afford them.

Perhaps, it is because of this rat race for brands that the number of lawn brands has exceeded to above 50 which, a decade ago, could be counted on fingertips. Every year a couple of new brands are introduced.

And now most designers, who have lawn brands, are introducing cosmetics, bags and other accessories. They know they are an established name and anything in their name will sell.

“People believe that they will look attractive and stylish if they wear branded clothes or shoes or carry a branded bag,” says Farah. “They think that using branded items will earn them respect and position in society. However, this is not the case.

“There are several other things in one’s personality that one needs to take care of in order to make an impression. The way you talk and behave with others is more important than a branded outfit,” asserts Farah.

Even when shopping for grocery items, people’s choices tend to be tilted towards larger brands; they prefer to buy imported foreign products rather than locally manufactured ones. While one reason may be health and hygiene consciousness, not all people buy for these reasons.

Some just go for them because they saw the advertisements on TV or because their peers are using them. Young girls buy skincare products just because they have seen their ads on TV without thinking whether it is suitable for their skin type or not. They just know that it is a popular brand being advertised on TV.

A downside of brand-consciousness is that in their pursuit for branded stuff, and in order to keep up with the society and competing with peers, people, especially the young generation belonging to the middle class, overthrow caution to the wind and upset their budgets.

They spend unreasonable amounts of money to buy things just so they could carry a popular brand’s label. Under the impression that their fashion choices define them, they go for reputed brands.

Well aware of people’s obsession with brands, the manufacturers take advantage of this. They know their brand will sell no matter how high the cost is and they exploit the situation.

On special occasions, such as Mother’s Day and Independence Day, they announce a sale on their products and people rush to make the most of it only to realise later that they ended up spending more as they bought things they did not need.

Many local brands get hold of phone numbers and, at the launch and subsequent sales, send SMS alerts notifying them of the new arrivals and sales. It is a marketing gimmick to win the loyalty of the customers as well as to draw new customers.

Another example of how brands take advantage of consumers is when stores announce sales — up to 50 or 70 per cent. People only discover that the sale is on selected items and the claimed 50-70 per cent is only on a very few items whereas the rest of the items have a discount of only 20-25 per cent when they reach there.

Very often the items are not marked whether they are on sale and at how much discount and the customer remains under the impression that the entire stock is on sale.

Once the customer selects an item thinking that he/she got a good bargain on a branded item he/she learns that the particular item is not on sale. Now he/she is caught between saving face and buying an expensive product as most people do not want to show that they came not for the sale but for the brand or leave without buying the item of their choice. Most often people end up paying way more than they thought they would.

At the end of the day, there is no harm in being brand conscious but what is important is that one should neither lose one’s personality in the race for brands nor go overboard and spend more than one can easily afford.

Shopping gurus advise that when picking up a brand one should pick one that not only represents one’s personality but also fits in one’s budget. At the same time one should be aware of the product’s utility and not buy it just because it was at one’s favourite brand’s outlet.

Every day while scrolling through my social media feed, I come across at least one post from an overwhelmed mother seeking advice as to how to beat the ‘mom guilt’ of leaving her baby behind while resuming work after maternity leave. While mom guilt does not exist in dictionaries, it is pervasive among mothers, can strike anytime and is the driving force behind women’s career decisions and childcare options.

Maternity leaves, no matter how long, seem to end in a flash when you have a new born. As the return date to work approaches, mothers are often more tired, scattered, and drained, sometimes unable to make even simple decisions. The flustered, unprepared mother appears to stand at a crossroads of working for the sake of making a living only or choosing a career for herself.

Women, who transition back to work after maternity leaves, return as a different person with new priorities and concerns. They are often aware of the bumps that lie ahead of them but are unaware of the pressure of perfection which is expected of them both in house chores and at work. In this pursuit of perfection in both roles, women forget to appreciate the efforts they put in and blame themselves for falling short of the societal expectations.

Nida S. Fahad is one such mother who was keen to work after having her first child. As she had worked actively before her daughter’s birth, returning to work was the most viable way to cope with the post-partum depression and keep herself productive at the same time. She started her hunt for a job that could allow her to bring her baby along and successfully grabbed a compelling position at a start-up. However, she resigned only after a month and a half due to the cold behaviour of the organisation towards her three-month-old baby and the lack of private space to feed her infant.

“When an organisation promises to empower young mothers and encourages them to work, it needs to keep its word and facilitate them well enough so they [mothers] can feel comfortable,” Nida says. Unfortunately in Pakistan, the organisational infrastructure is not child-friendly and does not support the tall claims that most organisations make at the time of interview, she adds.

Like a tightrope walker in a circus, a working mother does her best to balance motherhood and career. Unlike the circus fellow, however, she doesn’t receive much in the name of applause even when she succeeds.

Although the World Health Organisation recommends mothers to exclusively breastfeed their newborns for the first six months, many mothers give up breastfeeding when they return to work because of the lack of support from employers and proper nursing rooms for breastfeeding mothers.

The benefits of breastfeeding cannot be overemphasised. In addition to the numerous benefits for the baby and mother, it has many advantages for the employer as well such as decreased absenteeism and increased employee job satisfaction, studies suggest.

While speaking about her short stint at work, Nida reminisces how her hard work, timely completion of tasks and late sittings were never acknowledged. “No matter how sincerely a woman works, there is a common notion attached with working mothers that they never give their 100 per cent at work,” she laments.

The criticism that Nida faced during her time at her former company motivated her to not give up. She created a Facebook community, Superwomen of Pakistan (SWOP), to raise concerns and create awareness regarding the discriminating work culture towards working mothers.

Nida now designs marketing strategies and helps businesses thrive besides running SWOP that has over 36,000 members and aims to empower women entrepreneurs.

“Working from home is difficult but it makes me happy,” she remarks. Nida says that she works 24/7 as a marketer, consultant, community admin and a mother to two beautiful girls.

The female participation rate in Pakistan’s labour force is disappointingly low i.e. 24.8 per cent compared to the overall female population in Pakistan that was 48.63 per cent in 2016, according to the World Bank’s collection of development indicators. According to the data released by International Labour Organisation, there is a wide gap between Pakistan’s male and female Labour Force Participation Rate (LFPR). The LFRP for women, which stands at a mere 24.8 per cent, is three times lower than men’s 82.5 per cent.

Pakistan’s development roadmap “Vision 2025” sets an ambitious target of an increase in Female Labour Force Participation (FLFP) from its current level of nearly 25 per cent to 45 per cent by 2025. The World Bank’s report on female labour force participation in Pakistan cites household and childcare responsibilities as primary hurdles that hinder women’s ability to work outside their homes. The majority of women, surveyed for the report, attribute their absence from the labour force to housework and child-rearing. Even among women who work, over 61 per cent of women in urban and 45 per cent in rural areas work from their homes, owing to the same pressure. While working remotely offers the women flexibility in terms of hours, it confines the types of jobs they can take, thus, hampering their growth.

Amber Jaffery, a digital and content strategist at a leading software house, was associated with a media organisation for around nine years when she came to know that she was expecting her first child. Being a first-time expectant mommy, she was extremely excited but was aware of a whole host of hurdles that she had to overcome at work. She had a complicated pregnancy and postpartum period and opted for an extended maternity leave to look after her baby and herself.

When Amber communicated her reservations to her head of department, she was pressed to choose between keeping her job and providing full care to her newborn. “Since there wasn’t any day care facility, my request to have reduced timings (till 4 pm) for a couple of months was denied and there was no question of bringing along my baby with a maid, I resigned despite wanting to continue,” she says.

Amber decided to work as a freelancer until she found a workplace that was more ‘mom-friendly’. She defines ‘mom-friendly’ workplaces as organisations that have day cares, offer flexible timings and are generally more empathetic. A year and a half later, she found her ideal workplace that is both mom and child friendly, has an on-site day care facility and is welcoming and empowering women.

Amber keeps a check on her toddler through a webcam now. She says that she has no ‘mom guilt’ and is happy to see her child thriving in a great environment. She believes that every woman who wants to pursue a career should be encouraged, not just by her family, but also at her workplace. “An ecosystem that enables and empowers women is extremely important,” she adds.

Motherhood penalty

In many cases, women, when they become mothers, are exempted from the ambit of an ‘ideal worker’ who sits for long hours, sacrifices personal interests for the sake of the organisation, and does not have any interruptions from home. The working moms are perceived as less competent and less committed, thus, less likely to be employed or promoted at a workplace.

Pakistan’s Enterprise Survey conducted in 2013 reveals the same. It shows that nearly two-thirds of the firms reported gender-discriminatory attitudes as reasons for not recruiting women at leading roles. Over one-third firms do not hire women because of their family responsibilities. Nearly one-third firms believe that female employee can disrupt workplaces and an equivalent proportion believes that women are expensive employees because of the expenses on their separate workplace facilities. Less than one-third of the firms do not prefer to recruit women because of government regulations on working hours for women and maternity leaves.

Meher Afroze, a paediatric consultant, also talks about her concerns. She took a break of 2.5 years after her second-born in order to raise her. “During those 2.5 years, which I sacrificed for my children, I looked at my colleagues with envy who were moving forward in their careers. Although raising kids is the most important job a woman can perform, we underestimate our daily struggles and sacrifices we make for our family,” she says.

Since serving people has been Meher’s passion, a day-long work does not make her feel tired, but she wonders how difficult it must be for mothers who are working to make a living and dealing with work politics at the same time.

“Pursuing a career while being a mother means responsibilities multiplied twice. Life of a working mother is a daily struggle where you have to finish multiple tasks before leaving for work and meet the remaining targets after returning home,” Meher says.

Meher regards her specialisation as the most difficult phase of her career where she would be called on 36-hour-long duty and would sleep for only an hour to spend maximum time with her child.

While family support is one of the biggest blessings for a working mother in Pakistan, lack of good and affordable day care centres is the biggest hindrance for many women willing to pursue their careers. Almost 50 per cent of Meher’s female classmates are stay-at-home mothers now. “Had there been proper day care facilities at workplaces or hospitals, many of them would be working,” Meher believes.

Working mothers have been subjected to stinging criticism for what they do or do not do for their own children. They have been shamed by the society for leaving their children behind, depriving them of their right to breastfeed, not giving them quality time and food, missing out on their special days and ignoring them. Some people still think that a ‘good mother’ is one who gives up work to stay home to raise her children. However, Khushboo Rafiq, a lecturer at a public university believes otherwise. “Children of working mothers are more independent, confident, and compassionate and are super proud of them when they grow up,” she notes.

IN an era when misinformation is readily available, especially over the internet, trust in the news sources is probably the lowest it has ever been. Not long ago, a video of two engineering students jumping off the balcony went viral on the social media. It was shared more than 6000 times on Facebook and was trending for one whole week. The video was traumatising enough to change the decision of a prospective student willing to seek an admission to the institution. Upon delving deeper into the video, it was found to be a hoax, made by a group of students for their class project.

The anecdote is both troublesome and intriguing. How a seemingly innocent class project was picked up by some Facebook pages and shared without context as ‘news’ that ended up shaping the perception of teenagers regarding the pressure of education in that institution. There are millions of people who are being affected by this pandemic that we can generalise as ‘fake news’.

Pakistan ranks 68th out of 86 countries in digital literacy as listed by the Economist Intelligence Unit (EIU) in 2018 despite gaining rapidly on the internet penetration spectrum. This is a perfect recipe for disaster as the combination of increasing internet penetration and poor digital literacy translates into misinformed populace that is unable to discern actual facts from a plethora of clickbait articles, and hoaxes circulating on the internet.

Unfortunately, in a country where politicians are unable to discern between animation and real-life footage, it is unfair to expect from the masses who are not privileged enough to invest in making themselves digitally literate. Many of our countrymen are digitally savvy, but are not digitally literate and, hence, they fall prey to fake news.

Gone are the days when authenticity was associated with the source of the news. In contemporary times, when there is a plethora of television channels and infinite websites that are easily accessible – thanks to smartphones and the increased internet penetration – the sources are countless, and all of them appear to be authentic depending upon a person’s definition of authenticity.

In an age where ‘bloggers’ and ‘influencers’ armed with the element of ‘clickbait’ reign supreme, sifting news from fake news and information from disinformation takes some doing.

The influx of information accessible with such ease has made people lazy and an easy prey to disinformation as the normal ‘fact checker’ in our mind is diluted with an overflow of information from numerous channels, such as TV, social media, radio, SMS and WhatsApp messages.

In a country with burgeoning youth population, it is pivotal for parents, teachers and indeed the government to partner up in promoting digital literacy not just at the school, college and university levels, but at homes too.

According to YouTube, the most watched videos by female parents are cartoons and nursery rhymes, indicating that parents often give their smartphones or tablets to their little ones to keep them busy and entertained. With unmonitored and unsupervised exposure to the internet, these kids can venture into content that might be detrimental or false, and, hence, shape their worldview that stays in their minds.

The digital age has opened up new avenues of earnings. Back in the days, medicine and engineering used to be the top career choices for every teen growing up. In recent times, however, new ‘professions’ like blogger, vlogger, youtuber, and influencer etc. have entered their area of consideration.

These new professions are more rewarding as they offer quick ways of earning money online, and require nothing but a basic camera, social media account, and an ability to create original, attention-grabbing content. While there is no harm in pursuing this line of profession, the overall impact this has had on the digital landscape is immense.

Many influencers nowadays are propagating questionable and downright controversial views on social media. They create carefully curated content to get as many views as possible on their websites/videos/blogs so they can make money based on the overall traffic on their web properties.

In order to sustain this, they require a steady stream of fresh content that they repurpose and repackage by adding spice via clickbait thumbnails on the video or sensationalising the content piece by inserting clickbait titles. This practice is fairly common as a simple search on YouTube about any recent incident will reveal countless versions of the story from countless channels; each sounding convincing.

While there is no particular way to escape this menace, there are some basic markers that indicate when a particular news item might be a hoax or not credible.

Firstly, the origin of the content would be from a web address that sounds fairly identical to authentic sources, but would end mostly with ‘.co’, ‘.tk’ etc. with no definite author.

Secondly, the content would be followed by too many obtrusive advertisements, compelling a viewer to click on them.

Thirdly, and most importantly, the editorial quality of the content would be poor. This would be evident from usage of too many words in capital letters and usage of the words ‘unbelievable’, ‘epic’, and ‘amazing’ in their clickbait caption to lure a user onto the content.

In addition to the obvious signs, it is also important to cross-check any news item from multiple sources before sharing it or forwarding it to others. Having basic research skills can work as a substitute for general knowledge in this age, and is an indispensable skill that many people lack.

While the government and private institutions are playing their part to increase digital literacy, it is the responsibility of the more educated class to drive this agenda of digital literacy across the socio-economic spectrum of our country, and raise awareness across different platforms.

The next time your driver shares a video about how Neil Armstrong said ‘Allah-O-Akbar’ when he first landed on the moon, make sure you confront him about his sources. Or, else, keep sliding down that slippery slope of ‘fake news’. The choice is yours.

THE most obvious solution to most problems often happens to be a bit too simple to execute. Really. Take for instance, smoking. The best decision that any smoker can make is to quit it altogether. We all know that. The smokers know that. But the unfortunate reality is that most adult smokers carry on with what they have been doing for years.

It remains one of the biggest challenges being faced by nations across the world in their fight against cancers related to this self-harming addiction. Not only smoking increases the risk of cancer and causes several other diseases, but it also affects the lifestyle of the smokers. Smoking is difficult to quit, but smoke-free alternatives can now be used to improve lives and lifestyles of the smokers and, to some extent, even the non-smokers who share the space with them.

Currently, there are over a billion adult smokers around the world and the number is estimated to increase with time. Every day around the world, more than 2,500 youngsters, under the age of 18, light their first cigarette, whereas more than 400 of them subsequently become regular smokers. Horrible numbers.

Smoking has never been considered a good habit and the best time to quit smoking is now. The process of quitting is tough as your body urges you to take more nicotine. Many researches indicate that the person who wants to quit smoking should pay attention to things or habits that trigger the desire. People often quit for a period of time – from a week to even several years – before they slide down the slippery path of temptation. Other triggers include stress, but it mostly is lifestyle-related.

According to a survey by American Legacy Foundation, most of the adolescents who have smoked at least 100 cigarettes in their lifetime said they wanted to quit, but were not able to do so. People can opt for alternatives and nicotine replacement therapy.

While there are alternatives available, nothing beats the simplicity of quitting the habit and being nicotine-free.

No matter how many cigarettes a person smokes in a day, the risk to the health begins from the first one. The first smoke that goes inside the body increases the risks of developing many diseases which may include cardiovascular diseases, respiratory diseases, 12 types of cancers, and maternity health risks for women.

According to a study by Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration, a large number of youths that begin smoking under the age of 18 end up dying prematurely from a smoking-related disease. The benefits of quitting the habit cannot be overemphasised.

There are many immediate and long-term benefits. Within 12 hours of the quit, for instance, the blood pressure and heart rate drop, and the level of carbon monoxide in blood gets normal. In the next two to 12 weeks, blood circulation and the functioning of the lungs improve. Within one to nine months, the coughing and shortness of breath improve. And, as the times passes by, without smoking or staying around the people who smoke, the risk of coronary heart disease drops by half. The risks of stroke, pancreatic diseases and cancers of lung, mouth, throat, oesophagus, bladder and cervix also decrease. And yet, it is hard to imagine that people struggle to quit. But they do.

Now, thanks to advances in science and technology, although not totally risk-free, products that are relatively better, such as e-cigarettes and heated tobacco products (HTPs), are their to help the strugglers. But their consumption is affected owing to the overall lack of awareness about these products.

A recent research found that more than two-thirds of the smokers are more likely to switch to alternative products if they had more clarity on how the products differ from cigarettes. It also uncovered that 41 per cent people are not aware of alternative HTPs.

The basic motive behind the smoking alternatives is to fulfil the ‘desire’ part of the deal. The devices are being made in similar designs, giving the smokers the feel of a cigarette, so that they can switch to less harmful products easily. After all, it is more about lifestyle compulsions than anything else.

The study cited above also explored the smoking attitudes of both smokers and non-smokers as well as the role that smoking or quitting plays in human relationships. Almost half of the ex-smokers who had switched to smoke-free alternatives (48 per cent) reported better relationships with family and friends since they changed, and 45 per cent reported that their social lives improved accordingly, with a slightly higher proportion of men reporting this improvement.

Intimate relationships are not the only ones affected. The survey revealed that smoking can get in the way of friends and, quitting smoking, can have a positive impact on the social life. More than 69 per cent of non-smokers indicated that they did not like going to smokers’ houses because they feel uncomfortable being around the smoke.

Quite rightly, there is a wealth of regulation encouraging people to quit or to not start smoking. A number of laws were developed long before vaping, HTPs and other smoke-free alternatives existed, and, as such, don’t clearly distinguish between them and regular cigarettes, thereby leaving the smokers confused about ways to kick the habit by taking advantage of better alternatives.

Access to information has been shown to improve public health in different areas. In an era where governments and companies alike are taking measures to help address global public health issues, access to credible, fact-based information about science-backed alternatives and giving the power to the individuals to make choices regarding their own health is logical and in line with the tenants of freedom of information.

While there are valid alternatives available for adult smokers, nothing beats the simplicity of quitting the habit and being nicotine-free. The alternatives come only when the solution is too simple to execute.

IT has been some years now that the residents of Islamabad – and, for that matter, those of its twin city Rawalpindi – have thought every now and then about the need to move away from the lush green environs of Margalla Hills and from the serenity that used to characterise life in the capital city. The sit-ins – dharnas, as they are called in the vernacular – have made life tough to manage, and there is no single entity to blame it for. Multiple political parties – and consequently the administration, have done it time and time again, blocking main arteries and holding the city, its dwellers and commuters hostage for lengthy and, more critically, uncertain periods of time. Islamabad, the beautiful, is losing its charm as a destination of choice to drop anchor in one’s life.

While the residents are busy making lifestyle adjustments, their grumbles continue. “It is wrong to hold protests by causing trouble to other peaceful people in general and the residents in particular. Instead of blocking traffic, they should protest in a democratic way,” says Fazal Maula, a resident of sector G-10.

“Blockage of roads is not justified. It leads to problems and often ends up in violent activities. The police are scared of the crowd. Politicians try to gain support through this. It is the biggest problem being faced by Pakistanis. The authorities must take strict action so that no one stages a dharna and causes inconvenience to the people anywhere in the country,” says Mohammad Sharif, a civil servant.

“Dharna is, relatively, a new phenomenon adopted by political parties to register their protest and anger against any wrongdoing – perceived or otherwise – by the government or its departments. A civilised method needs to be followed by the protestors to spare the residents the agony and pain which are the results of blocked roads,” says Amjid Ghauri, a resident of sector G-9.

Islamabad, the beautiful, is fast losing its charm as a destination of choice to drop anchor in one’s life. Making lifestyle adjustments to co-exist with dharnas is diluting the fun that was once associated with life in the national capital.

As soon as anyone announces a sit-in plan, the district governments of Islamabad and Rawalpindi start sealing entry and exit points by placing containers. Security forces of all shades and varieties start manning various points for security and to guide citizens towards alternative routes, causing problems for the twin-city residents.

“Besides disturbing government servants and students, dharnas and protests bring misery and pain for the daily wagers whose families heavily depend on their earnings. When the city is closed and there is no activity, they remain idle — unable to work and resultantly unable to provide food to their families,” says Noman Ahmad, a government servant.

“It is indeed startling that despite the imposition of section 144, which bans a gathering of five or more persons, hundreds and thousands of political workers and supporters join dharnas. It reflects on the incompetence and helplessness of the authorities in enforcing the law to establish the writ of the state,” says Suhail Ahmed, a resident of sector G-8.

“Holding peaceful protests and dharnas is the right of people in democracy but the rights of other people should also be respected. No one should be allowed to block traffic. A spacious venue on the outskirts of the city should be provided for this purpose,” suggests Mushtaqur Rehman, a private school teacher.

“While blocking highways or expressways, one must realise that it can be fatal for others. One may not be able to reach the hospital in time, can miss a flight, a job interview, social functions etc. So blocking traffic should not be tolerated at all and the law enforcement agencies must make it a point to ensure it in letter and spirit,” comments Azharuddin, a retired government servant.

“The police and the district administration have a duty to facilitate the gathering, in which citizens exercise their fundamental right of public assembly. At the same time, living in a democracy requires following certain rules to allow the state to discharge its responsibility of maintaining peace and security for everyone at all times. Shifting from erstwhile ‘crowd control’ to ‘crowd management’ approach would need strategic planning at all levels starting from events and venues of mass gathering,” says Mohsin Ali, a businessman.

People living near the protest site face a host of problems, including restricted movement and insecurity. The residents are of the opinion that they are confined to their homes and the movement of women and children in particular is restricted every time there is a sit-in.

“When some roads, that are a lifeline to the city residents, are blocked, it seems the entire city has come to a halt. Blocking roads creates traffic jams, affecting commuters. Traffic jams by protestors cause sheer wastage of time for commuters. There is a need for empathy for others,” emphasises Malik Sabir, a doctor at a local hospital.

As for the sit-in sites, there are always clear indications that policemen, public at large, food vendors and even onlookers enjoy their day-to-day routines; a luxury that the locals do not have in such a scenario. The protesters set up a tent city of their own and continue with their cooking and washing regimes when their leaders are not giving speeches.

Jubilant participants, elders and youngsters alike, drawn from diversified social, ethnic, cultural and religious backgrounds move around shoulder-to-shoulder and mingle with each other, demonstrating a unique scene of compassion. The ambience at the sit-in remains more fun-oriented which is sharp contrast to the lives of their victims the common people of the city.

Although the twin-city residents face innumerable problems, traders in and around the dharna venue do end up making money as their business activities get increased manifold due to the influx of hundreds of thousands of people. “The dharnas have a positive impact on our business. Small traders’ income gets doubled. We keep our shop opened round the clock for the benefit of our protesting guests,” says Akbar Shah, a shopkeeper of daily use items in sector G-9.

Though such souls represent a serious minority compared to the mass of sufferers, small vendors set up makeshift kiosks and shops serving eatables and utility items, especially umbrellas, fruits, scents, sweetmeats, fried beans, corncobs, cell phone gadgets like chargers, selfie sticks, hands-free etc.; not to forget paan (betel nuts) shops. The vendors surely are the happiest people every time there is a call for a sit-in. But for the rest of the city, its dwellers and commuters, such dharnas represent nothing but misery. Absolute, unadulterated misery.

WHAT is lifestyle? It can be different for different people and there are a lot of variables in between that govern the kind of lifestyle an individual follows. It has, however, become fashionable these days to align the term with only a certain class of people, with supposedly a certain level of education and income and their pursuit of a certain kind of social life. Age also plays a role in today’s concept of lifestyle, which can mean that only young individuals are permitted to subscribe to the ‘lifestyle club’.

A couple in their early 60s enjoying a meal at a corner table at a restaurant in Zamzama in Karachi or at the Fortress Stadium in Lahore does not end up making a splash on the social media. Even if they take a selfie and the lady adds it to her Facebook status, no one pays any attention. If there is another couple at the same restaurant, say, people in their mid-20s, occupying a table somewhere in the middle, they are noticed by everyone coming in or going out and when they post their status selfie on the net, everyone says ‘Wow!’ – and they end up getting tons of ‘likes’.

It is not clear whether everyone hankers to identify with a lifestyle except perhaps the educated young urbanite, but it is a fact that this is the segment that most advertising and marketing people want to penetrate because, in their estimation, this is where the budget spend is. This sort of thinking is right to a great extent because it is the upwardly mobile class that is supposed to belong to this group. At the same time, it is also true that lifestyle is the domain of a lot of other people as well who necessarily do not have to be young fashionistas.

So what if there are people in various age brackets who eat at dhabas and do not frequent the chaiwalas in Defence or consume chocolate parathas. They probably frequent the chainki-wala in the bazaar for tea, have malai and paratha for breakfast and go to Burns Road for nihari. But this is their lifestyle and they comprise a large buying class as far as the marketer is concerned. This means, they need to be noticed.

The young alone don’t have a copyright on the term ‘lifestyle’ and the same is true for the urban elite. Every life has a lifestyle.

People who are not young anymore are probably trodden over because they do not get a high if a fast-food delivery is made at their doorstep. They would rather go out and eat a pizza. But if the same pizza is delivered to a young person, he or she can eat it alone at 2 O-clock in the night, while in bed while watching an episode of the Game of Thrones. That is the young person’s lifestyle whether you like it or not. If mom and dad want to join in, they are most welcome but this sort of routine – sleeping in the day and staying awake at night – would be abnormal for them and they would be cut off from their friends and rishteydars.

On a typical Saturday afternoon, a young wife and her two kids head for a mall in town to have cold coffee and maybe do a bit of window-shopping while the husband gets a makeover from the town’s best-known female beautician so that he will be the centre of attraction in his office on Monday or the envy of his friends at the party later that week.

Oh, by the way, on Sunday, the same couple would like to be noticed sitting in the lounge of a multiplex, all ready for their turn, popcorn in hand, waiting for their movie show. When their parents go to a film show, they would never bother about buying popcorn and would wait in a corner of the foyer if they arrive early.

Depending on your age bracket, having a lifestyle also means whether you are an introvert or an extrovert. If you are not young and an introvert, it would mean you don’t like meeting people and you don’t attend any social gathering, of course except going to someone’s house to condole or join a namaz-e-janaza. You hardly go to weddings and you attend birthday parties only of your close family or your grandchildren. It is a given that you don’t like having your own birthday party or celebrating your wedding anniversary, much to the chagrin of your better half. You dread it if someone invites you over for a meal or you are supposed to attend a social event. You would rather snuggle on a sofa in some corner of the house with a newspaper or book or watch NatGeo on TV – alone.

If you are an extrovert, all this does not happen and you merrily enjoy every moment of socialising, going to the club, attending weddings and even dressing up appropriately for a funeral. In fact, you look for opportunities to meet people and even enjoy chatting with the fruit-wallah. Making friends with the person on the next seat in the plane is no problem for you. Being a social animal or otherwise is all a part of your lifestyle and you like it when someone calls your name from a distance at a large gathering.

Being interested in a sport is also a part of your lifestyle. But age also plays an important role here. You like to discuss the players or a recent event with other people in your age-group, depending in which age bracket you are in. The older lot still follows cricket though many of the well-heeled also go for golf or tennis. The younger ones are increasingly becoming football lovers and they know the names of all the clubs around the world and can identify the leading players. The age difference is, however, the gulf between the young and old, and they both sound Greek to each other when caught in some kind of a discussion on sports.

Though there are exceptions, women, generally speaking, have little to do with detailed sports discussions. They have their own interest areas, from the corporate to the fashion world. Latest fashion collections and happenings on the fashion scene figure slightly higher than in male groups though exceptions, as always, are there. The younger ones are aware of all the new designers who are making their appearance and what they have on offer. They are either attending fashion shows or reading about them in newspapers and magazines and some of them even know the names of the designers, the choreographers and the models.

The older ladies, also known as ‘aunties,’ just wait around for new lawn collections to be announced and then make their most earnest efforts to be among the first to land at lawn exhibitions and lap up the new offerings, burdening their credit cards with the exorbitant costs.

These aunties are also seen at restaurants and in clubs holding ‘kitty’ parties. The idea of course is not to collect money and hand it over to one person every month but to get together to enjoy a heavy meal because, otherwise, they are supposed to be dieting and that is their ‘lifestyle’. The retired husbands are not welcome at such parties. The either play a game of bridge or go for a walk at the club. They also like to discuss politics and write letters to the editor of their favourite newspaper to share their ‘valuable’ views.

Eating out is another activity that determines one’s lifestyle. The weekend must be spent at a well-known restaurant so that one may talk about it when one meets friends. You can always post pictures of the eating-out experience and make others jealous. Depending on the age-group, again, the eating out can vary from a fast-food outlet to an ‘in’ restaurant where you have to wait outside or in the waiting area for quite some time before you get a table. But eat there you must.

Again, there is a whole chunk of the population, for example in Karachi, that sits outside on footpaths at such places as the commercial area near the Boating Basin. People belonging to the middle and lower-middle classes enjoy the experience with chicken tikka, Kata-Kat, seekh kebabs and the rest. This is their lifestyle. Another element of their lifestyle is that many families hire vans or use motorcycles and travel to the sea-front to enjoy the beach and the sea breeze. This happens with more intensity on weekends. There is no age limit in eating out at the Boating Basin or going to the beach as this is a cheap or even free form of entertainment for all citizens. But it does depict a lifestyle.

What also defines lifestyle is what class one belongs to, where they live, and how much they earn. Lifestyle does not necessarily have to be a fashion statement, but it depicts an individual by the way he or she lives, dresses up, eats and seeks entertainment as this provides the marketer the opportunity to pounce upon him or her at the slightest hint.

DEATH in the extended family, delay in salary, mobile snatching incident, your laptop taken over by ransomware, or your dad finding your hidden cigarette pack … all of these can potentially ruin your day or two. But there is something which can possibly cause greater stress, anxiety and misery than these together can; when you are unable to stream the episode of Suits you left midway the preceding night. I am a binge-watcher, a movie buff, a TV-holic and all of them together. And then some more. I am the kind of addict who is comfortable with his addiction. Among other regrets on my deathbed, I am sure I will regret not having had the chance to watch enough TV.

Yeah, yeah, yeah… I know there are problems in the world, with the world, for the world and more so in our case. Fuel prices, power tariff, increased taxes, the value of rupee diving much more spectacularly than Jhonty Rhodes ever did at backward point. The issue with streaming services is, so to say, a First World problem. Right? But at least everyone accepts that it is a problem. I can live with that. I don’t care about issue – global or local – and I am sure nobody does while they are in the middle of an episode marveling over the genius diagnostic – and, indeed, acting – skills of House M.D. or the political shrewdness of Frank Underwood.

Unfortunately, governments in the Third World are taking forever to understand something so basic. So simple. They are investing millions and billions in public relation activities and what we lowly commoners fondly call dramaybaazi to fix their image and rapport with the public when they can easily save all the money and hassle.

Rather than making agendas having 14 or 16 points (I don’t know why they fail to round up these points to an even 15 or 20!) they can make just a two-point agenda and the nation will not forget their services for decades to come; one, uninterrupted, unlimited internet for all, and, second, no power outages at least before the episode ends and the credits start rolling. As simple as that! As far as election campaigns are concerned, the ruling party should run all opposition party ads between episodes and trust me no one will even want to vote for them.

We have all heard the magical three words, or have at least heard about them, but ‘failed to login’ are the dreaded words in today’s life. They bite you where and when it hurts the most.

So what happened on that deplorable evening which is the main purpose of venting my spleen upfront, was that I took a French leave from the office partly because my wife was ill and partly because I had left the Suits episode halfway the preceding night owing to the super powers of anti-allergy meds.

I was excited to reach home early when even the sun was still out, calculating gleefully the hours I would have that day to complete the season. After some attending and some pretending with my sick wife, I rushed to the former king of time-wasting gadgets, since long before these puny handsets came into existence, I mean the tube, the big picture, the home-wrecker, the electronic babysitter, the only big flat thing I enjoy looking at over the mirror … the mighty telly!

I was sitting there in a perfectly dark room with my eyes gleaming with anticipation, wife snoring in the other room, daughter at her grandparents’, fresh coffee steam rising from the mug, a moist-butt cigarette between the lips when it happened. All the while driving back home in anticipation not once I had considered the pretty strong possibility that this could be the day my internet might decide to pull a Ned Stark on me. It did. It died when I was counting on it the most. ‘Failed to login’. That was all I could see on the telly-screen.

You have heard the magical three words, right? OK, if you have not heard them, you have heard about them. But these are the realistic three words that bite you where it hurts: ‘Failed to login’.

Anyway, shrugging off the immediate panic, I told myself it must be temporary. Tried again. The same result. Now it was getting serious. I could sense by the tone of those dreaded words that my internet and my not-so-smart TV are not getting along today. Yeah I accept it. I just called it not-so-smart after praising it earlier, because I am an honest man and in that moment I hated it … like really hated it. Picked up the next best thing, the newly crowned king of nuisance, my mobile phone. Tried logging in on it. Still no luck. The very same message albeit in a slightly different font.

With just an hour remaining before my nagging daughter comes back home and my super-nagging wife wakes up with that horrendous cough, I had all the reason to panic now. My mind, silently doing the math in the background, calculating the gigabytes I had consumed from the date of internet package activation, had now reached the conclusion that I have enough data remaining on my end so this cannot be a case of nonpayment of the internet bill, which is the only bill I pay on time. Now I can call the internet service provider with confidence.

If I ask any random Pakistani to guess the internet service provider who is constantly a pain in my life mentally, physically and emotionally, I am sure the guesses will not disappoint and everyone will be able to identify the suspect; it is no Keyser Söze. So I long-pressed 3 on my phone for the internet provider’s hotline. Yeah, it is on my speed-dial and if I wasn’t married it would have been 2. I am so trained calling the self-proclaimed helpline that I don’t even care to pick my preferred language as I can understand it in Morse code on a battlefield while a landmine explodes beside me and mortar whizzes by … you get my point.

Anyways, after a long agonising wait a dazed rep picked up the call and after the usually warm greetings, I screamed, “it says ‘failed to login’” but apparently that wasn’t enough information for him and, sounding like Yoda, he walked me through the whole process to find the fault which was more like finding the holy grail because we both knew it was there somewhere but we couldn’t seem to locate it. So taking inspiration from the church itself, he created a facsimile of the fault. The apparent fault could not be fixed at his end and had to be referred to the higher-ups in the church … I mean, the technical department.

The phone call ended in despair. I was sitting in a pitch-black room, eyes cold with disappointment, wife now in the last stages of her REM sleep, daughter on her way from her grandparents’, coffee so cold it could easily pass of as cola, a wet-butt cigarette between the lips when it happened … the moment I realized a couple of things about human development. Maybe this whole race of scientific evolution and technological advancement is just a big scam. Maybe we should have never improved the existing technology and should be content with whatever we had.

What if man had never stumbled upon the mystery of internet and started relying on it so much that it superseded the predecessors; movies and TV shows on cassettes and DVDs. I would have been able to watch Suits right then by just pushing the disk in that pretty obvious slot on that big bulky box. Then again, there are counter-arguments to it, too. The strongest one that came to my mind in that metaphorical and literal darkness was Genghis Khan. Maybe buddy Genghis was the mad cruel man that he was because the dude had no internet, no flicks and, hence, no chill. You will surely have time to think about it the next time you see the dreaded ‘failed to login’ flashing ion your screens!

IN Pakistan’s recent turbulent history, across the length and breadth of the country, isolation from the rest of the world has become a strange cornerstone of our perceptions. Where once thousands of tourists and businesses used to throng the country for a break from their routine, troubles with our security have resulted in Pakistan being completely disowned by international travellers. This has led to a desertification of the country in terms of people wanting to come here. But now, after what seems like a lifetime, the country is experiencing a return to life, thanks to the influx of people from the Orient. Enter the Chinese, thousands of them. And Pakistan is witnessing a rejuvenation of foreigners once again treading its soil.

It has been more than three years now that we have seen the influx of the Chinese. Though they are not tourists, rather businessmen or professionals who have come to our shores, but they are living and breathing with us; going to the same markets and giving us an opportunity to be good hosts. For some though, their increasing presence has proved be an unsettling experience.

Part and parcel of the multi-billion dollar CPEC projects, the accompanying Chinese personnel have added a different colour to the social fabric of our society. They are everywhere. One can find them in the malls, the cinemas and even in the restaurants. Surprisingly to the Pakistanis they are less found in the Chinese restaurants and more in the ones that serve traditional Pakistani or international cuisine. On the streets they can be found visiting our Pakistani handicraft stores. Wherever you turn, you see the Chinese expatriates going about their business in Pakistan’s bustling marketplaces and business arcades.

It was only a few years back when the first batch of expat Chinese came to Pakistan, as part of the CPEC projects. But they weren’t the first Chinese to come here. Other than those in diplomatic corps or associated with certain projects, the countable few who were here earlier were found primarily running the once-famous Chinese restaurants, that over the years customized their tastes in line with the likes of Pakistanis … more spicy, more oily. Maybe that is why the new breed of Chinese to tread these shores avoids the Pakistani-Chinese restaurants. Many know how to cook. Those who don’t, have brought in their own cooks.

Wherever you turn your eye in urban Pakistan, the Chinese expatriates are seen going about the local marketplaces and arcades. The visitors represent a boom for the local businesses.

At the food courts of the malls, it is interesting to see them sitting in a group together having a meal. For the young generation of Pakistani children, it is indeed a sight to behold. Some of the Chinese even bring their own chop sticks to enjoy the grub. But then, as foreigners in a foreign land, I would imagine them wanting to enjoy the local cuisine, albeit with a lot less spices. The international food chains with their international taste offer an alternative.

While ordering food, it is interesting to see them try to communicate. English being the universal language, the Pakistani behind the counter is accustomed to personalising the meal when asked in Urdu or English. It becomes trickier when the Chinese too is struggling to say, ‘please hold on to the spices and give me a bland chicken tikka’. Sign language comes into play and at the end of a five-minute language jostling, the order is placed.

Local cuisine is something the Chinese have developed a strong liking to, despite the fact that it is spicy and greasy. Mutton karhai is sought after. And the more desi the place, the better tasting it is. Issue is simply the cleanliness of the place; an issue we will touch in a while.

The visiting Chinese represent a boom for the local businesses. For a tourist economy, which we are not, there are seasons where the tourists come and go, like during the summers or during the winters. For the rest of the year, it is mostly recession. However, in Pakistan, CPEC has brought Chinese who are here for at least a few years. Maybe even more. A number of projects that are being built will ensure their presence in the long run as the projects are mostly on a build-operate basis. This in turn means the Chinese are ready for the local retail and wholesale market, resulting in sustained business. Houses, and not hotels, are being rented. Cars are being bought, and not rented. Grocery stores are shelving more consumer products. It indeed is an opportunity for us.

Also an opportunity for us is to clean our house. We are accustomed to living in filthy conditions. I remember in my childhood when I asked where is the dustbin so that I could throw the used wrapper, the answer was, ‘just throw it on the road … This is Pakistan.’ The result of this attitude is that we live in a dump and nobody seems to see it. Except for the newly arrived Chinese.

A top Chinese executive went to survey an under-construction building by the Karachi sea for his upcoming company. Though he remained silent over the construction progress and the quality of the work, what he did point out was the disgusting sight of raw sewage being dumped in the Arabian Sea, via Karachi’s public beaches. He was absolutely flustered. “Look what you are doing to your own country? How can you live like this,” he asked. The building salesperson simply replied that they had raised this point with the local authorities but nothing has been done thus far.

Another Chinese executive, when exchanging notes with his Pakistani counterpart about the living standards, remarked that he had bought an apartment on the third floor because they enjoyed the smell of the flowers from the park in front of their building. “With the trash that is everywhere, we prefer to live higher in the sky so that the stench doesn’t bother us!”

The story doesn’t end just there. A report recently on television aptly highlighted our distorted sense of social responsibility. At the popular Hilal Park, in the upscale neighbourhood of DHA in Karachi, Chinese visitors were seen picking up the trash and, in the process, cleaning the park. Pakistanis were left ashamed, flustered in the face of foreigners showing us that this Earth is for all of us, regardless of our nationalities and we should keep it clean. And, to think of it, a little while back we were annoyed over reports that a Chinese company was willing to clean up the streets!

Chinese are indeed here and would like to help us get our priorities back. But all is not that great and with the great cultural differences between the two communities, accidents are bound to happen. Like the one that was reported from Khanewal.

Chinese engineers and other staffers, engaged in the construction of M4 Motorway from Bahawalpur to Faisalabad were filmed attacking the policemen deployed for their security. The video footage was disturbing, to say the least. However, it was later clarified that the Chinese were frustrated with not being allowed to leave their camp premises without security. Cultural and language barriers, coupled with security concerns and a failure to communicate, resulted in a PR mess. Things settled soon with a Chinese apology and a shared grand meal with the guards.

Security of the visiting Chinese is of paramount importance. A number of them are seen being escorted by not only private security but also by Army personnel. After all, incidents in Quetta and Karachi and then the attack on a bus full of Chinese personnel have everybody on their toes. Pakistan’s reputation is at stake here.

Fear took hold when the Chinese started pouring into Pakistan. Locals eyed them with suspicion. Why are they here? Maybe that had more to do with our own insecurities than anything else. But now that they are here, it is important for us to be at our hospitable best. Cultural differences will remain. Laws and practices are different. Still, we should have the patience to welcome our Chinese neighbours. In the future they will be going back home with the tales of a foreign land. And when they do, they should have songs to sing of their Pakistani hosts.

IF you have ever lived in a joint family system in Pakistan, especially in Karachi, you must have been haunted, taunted or disciplined by the threat of what the people might say about this, that and everything else. The common phrase, as many of you would have recalled by now, is: Loag Kiya Kahaingai.

Gracing the world with your presence in a family of engineers and doctors, it inevitably becomes more of a daily dose to you if you see the world as a canvas and you want to paint it your way.

Many ideas are crushed, dreams shattered and hopes slaughtered at the altar of ‘what the people might say’. This magic wand of a statement wipes out just about everything because what you want somehow doesn’t fit the stereotype of a successful professional life that everyone else is supposedly living.

You keep asking everyone who these so-called Loag happen to be so that you might try to reach out in person and ask them to say whatever they want to say on your face and you might settle it right there. Alas! It never happens. It happens all the time, doesn’t it? Unfortunately, I was no different. But fortunately, I had my way. And with a perfect 6/6 hindsight, not many have regrets about the choices I ended up making. The Loag have been quiet for a long time.

Many ideas are crushed, dreams shattered and hopes slaughtered at the altar of ‘what the people might say’. But who can fault you for aspiring to be a kingmaker that a PR man practically is?

However, it did push me back in my early teens and I tried my hand at a few things not knowing that this quest would lead me to this profession of mine; a publicist. Now that’s a dirty word, many would say. Or is it?

Unlike other professions, public relations has been a widely misunderstood entity. Our nature of work asks us to connect and consult the top guys directly instead of different layers of pseudo-protocols in any system and that is why if you dig deep in history, you would easily find a wide range of people relating this profession to sycophancy … people who had, or have, little or no knowledge of what the publicists do.

I often narrate this to our clients while on-boarding and to the younger generation entering this domain that there are three professions in the world in which the client has to trust its consultants completely and inform everything he knows about the case in hand; a doctor, a lawyer and a publicist a.k.a. public relations consultant.

Because of this trusted relationship and our nature of work, our clients share quite a lot of confidential information with us which at times is not exposed or detailed to even close allies, fellow colleagues within the organisation and at times in the family too.

Back in the days of different dynasties and rulers, the empires made conscious efforts to win over hearts to their agenda. It has been said by some that the secret weapon of Roman Empire was not its armies; it was their mastery in terms of public relations.

For us, no two days are same; every day is a new day. Our routine days are all about looking at different perspectives on any topic. By virtue of this profession, where we tend to master the discourse, it becomes an instinct to stay away from the obvious by not taking things on face value alone. This is where we get close to our colleagues in journalism.

However, at times, the fraternity at large sees us as the devils in the business, for, apparently, it is the channelling of content from our side that irks the relationships. Quite often we face the allegations of not being honest when all we do is to ensure that we only strategically relay the specific piece of information required at any particular point of time.

The advent of the digitalisation, unlike any other business, changed the complete course of business operations. Because of round-the-clock accessibility of content, we have to stay available throughout to and on behalf of our clients.

When I started my career in 2003, it was a fairly clear routine of life. The instances that made us stretch the working hours to attend any events were just a few per month. The work-life balance was pretty easy to strike. We worked during the day, and once we left office, it was our time to spend the way we wanted to. It was not quite Stone Age, but the communication cycle at work was primarily based on calls, mails (to some), faxes and emails. No one bothered to check screens and notifications all the time.

I have this profound affection for gadgets and smart-phones. Back in the days when the smart-phones were making their way into our lives, I literally enjoyed being connected through the devices; it felt like I was on the top of my game. But its impact on work-life balance is serious. And that is an understatement.

Everyone loves to get well connected, and this line of profession gives you access to the top guys and leadership teams. If you are readily available to them, they involve you more in their planning and discussions. People like us who are always accessible are notably termed ‘dependable’ by our peers. It feels great to be in touch with everyone on the go, be it clients, journalists or colleagues. You always feel more in control with your routine affairs at work. In our line of work, it’s like the ecstasy feeling when things go as per your plan. But work-life balance? Yes, that remains the soft underbelly of being connected 24/7.

In the last decade or so, some glorious moments have passed by. Our nature of work evolved manifold. The advent of technology, working with clients in different time zones, listening to eureka moments by innovative thinkers (and, strangely, most such ideas reveal themselves after office hours !) and then constant monitoring and reporting of offline and online media, is sort of snatching from us the control of our own lives.

The ‘always-on’ mantra these days has made life a lot more demanding. What initially was an exception is now the norm, and if you happen to be on the agency side of the equation and looking at different portfolios, only God has the power to help you!

The WhatsApp culture has radically changed the definition of a balanced life, changing everything that dictionaries and management toolkits ever had to say on the matter. We do make protocols and processes to mitigate situations, but no two situations are the same. And crisis moments are not something you may plan ahead for. However, being there when it matters the most is just being professional. It is not surprising that a number of studies show Public Relations among the top 10 most stressful professions in the world. We wear our best suits when the situation is at its most calamitous.

Am I grumbling about the choice I myself made? No! The idea is to share a glimpse of what I opted for. This is what the love of the game is, and it can only be driven by passion. If you don’t have it, you don’t survive for long. And even if you do, you don’t thrive. That much is for sure.

If I were to describe in one sentence what we do, this would be it: We build and maintain reputations and, mostly, do it covertly.

Edelman, a leading global communications marketing firm, published its 2018 Earned Brand Report recently. This annual global study included responses from 8,000 people in eight countries on how brands earn, strengthen and protect their relationships with consumers. The study revealed that the two-thirds of consumers worldwide now buy on the basis of beliefs. They believe that the brands can bring societal change more powerfully than the government.

The company CEO, Richard Edelman, summed it well in his statement to CBS News, “This is an important trend that is here to stay because business is the most trusted institution in the world”.

It sounds like music to any publicist’s ears. It actually sums up all the efforts that PR practitioners are propagating both within the systems and to the outer worlds. It is not a mere day act; people have worked over years to gain that trust, that reputation and that image for their respective businesses.

So, in a nutshell, I am part of the mechanism that builds and sustains reputations. If Come to think of it, it is like being among the kingmakers. So, can you fault me for having opted to be the kingmaker? Hardly!

It is about growing together and learning together, and ultimately becoming better human beings. Honestly. As couple-preneurs, one has to be ready to compromise whenever and wherever needed. The relationship and the business are equally important. It is not a dreamy journey though, and does get ugly.

But what seemed like a compromise initially came to me in the early days of marriage. It is a funny story, for me at least. We had just gotten married and were enjoying being tourists in Bali. Then one day my mister, Raheel Pasha Khan, casually tells me he would call it quits at the multinational company he had been working at for years. The word soon was added with a calculated pause. Who announces such important things on their honeymoon? The idea was scary. What was he thinking? He wanted to have his own business.

Like anyone normal, I was already thinking about how we were going to have our ends meet considering there would be no steady income. We had just gotten married. Hello! And my income had no value as journalists do not get paid well.

The biggest challenge working with the spouse is to draw and respect a clear line regarding who is the boss. Otherwise, in times of roadblocks, things tend to go a bit messy.

“I want to have my own business, and that is exactly what we are going to do all our lives hopefully,” he said. There was no discussion at that point and the coming days and months seemed so dark suddenly.

We had arguments. We fought. A lot. Of course! We were not kids anymore chasing our dreams and not caring about our finances.

The year flew by really quick. Raheel was able to get me onboard, on the same page. I was beginning to understand his dream. He took an exit from the company he was working at, and immediately after it in April 2018, we started coming to our new office. Back then it was just us and two employees. One of them would handle accounts, and the other would look after operations.

One the first day, we honestly had no idea what we were up to. It would be an agency model, yes, but what services would it provide? Would we be able to make money? How soon? Things just fall into place when they have to.

We spent the first two months building our own event property which was a seven-day multi-brand exhibition in the last week of Ramadan. It got us to hire people as we needed them. It also enabled us to market ourselves and get access to numerous clients. Today after four months of the event, we happen to have four specialist divisions under our umbrella. The team is bigger, and the clientele is building up too. No one knows if we would one day be counted as a successful model one day, but that is all part of the game, right?

The biggest challenge is to highlight the clear line regarding who is the boss. Someone needs to make the final call. Otherwise, in times of roadblocks, things get messy. I find that clearly defining roles and responsibilities in the partnership, and respecting those, can lead to sanity in work life.

Earlier, I had major ego issues. I would wonder why he was always picking on me? Who does he think he is? Boss? Well, yes, but he is a husband too. We go home together. He cannot pick on me. He is in trouble today!

This can be a difficult phase when you are in business with your spouse. After all, if the person you love suddenly questions you or even rejects your idea, it suddenly makes you feel worthless. This is your husband or wife, after all.

What I didn’t understand back then was that whatever he would say was a part of my training, owing to the experience he had and being a senior too. As a couple, we believe that the attitude we maintain at our workplace enables us to communicate to our team that although we are husband and wife, there is no bias when it comes to work and accountability.

Just like in a marriage, it is important for couples to maintain respect for one another. As married entrepreneurs, you should understand everything both of you are doing is for the betterment of the business and ultimately for a good future.

It is alright to question your partner and feel that things could have been handled differently. But this does not mean that you embarrass your spouse in front of the employees. We have been there, done that, and it is not helpful at all. At times if you feel that it may get ugly, take your partner aside and communicate your thoughts to him/her in a civilised manner.

Disagreements in the office are inevitable and it is okay. But it should not affect the love or respect you have for one another — let it not ruin the precious bond. Couples in love should know how to communicate effectively both at and outside work without shouting or losing it. Accepting mistakes and rectifying them is absolutely normal and in no way does it show one down.

But sometimes, it is okay to play the clichéd wife-card. There have been times when I was against some idea. We argued in front of everyone, and he still went on with it. And once it backfired, I was usually like, see, the wife is always right. And he laughed. And then we were both laughing. We know one thing: I get to learn from him, and he gets to learn from me. So we are equals in that regard.

The more we work together, the more we realize that we love working with each other. As if there could not be a better picture than this one. Having our own business allows us to travel together, face challenges together, learn together, and create memories. But had we been in different industries today, it would have been boring to really explain our hits or misses to each other, or even be able to schedule a lot of things together.

For me, support is everything, and there is nothing like a pat from my husband. At times, when I know I have done something good, I am found staring at his face to see some happy expressions. Show appreciation for one another. Congratulate your spouse on their tiniest of achievements, both professionally and personally. If we won’t be their rock on the hard days and cheer them on, or celebrate their hits, who will?

I was always an impatient one. But just like shaadi changes people, so does business. Have patience — a successful business is not a guarantee. Besides, good things don’t happen overnight. As a couple-preneur, patience is key. Think of all the longs nights, extra hours, over-worked days, personal and financial sacrifices that you need to put in, in order to take your business somewhere.

So take it easy as working together has its own rhythm, and soon enough it seems fine to not be able to remember anniversaries and birthdays, or even take time out to have some us time. The couple is one team, building something for their own benefit and future ultimately.

You know how people speak of work-life balance and how it can be so stressful to manage both? Since we started this venture, our lives have been all about integrating our family with our business. We don’t let the stress of the business disturb our marriage, and if we disagree on something at work, we ensure we are done with it before we enter our home.

When we are home, we try to do things together — as if seeing each other all day is not enough — like binge shows, enjoy our favorite junk food, or go out on a movie-date. It is so therapeutic. But remember, couples do not get to enjoy these all the time. There are days of the other variety aplenty.

The life of an entrepreneurial couple isn’t a piece of cake — and there are challenges to overcome as one team. But, by showing respect and setting time aside for your work and spouse, you can strengthen your relationship.

THERE were times when one would go to the local market and spend hours selecting whatever one wanted to buy – clothes, shoes, bags et al. For grocery one would visit certain particular shops often in retail markets to get good bargains; for instance, for Karachities, Empress Market was the go-to place. Even before this, grannies talk about times when women, especially of high social strata, would not go to the bazaar, and the merchants would send their wares, even jewellery in some case, for ladies to select from within the confines and comforts of their homes. But then those were days when needs were few and new clothes were not bought at the pace it is done now.

With time, markets gave way to malls and superstores as people found it convenient as they would get everything under one roof and that too in clean air-conditioned environment. But now, even the trend of going to the market/malls seems to be changing, with online shopping gaining popularity. People prefer to buy online, sitting, again, in the comfort of their homes. It is not just clothes and bags; one can buy jewellery, cosmetics, and even grocery, not just non-perishable items but also fruits and vegetables. And this is all besides the food delivery services. How convenient: guests are coming, no need to rush to the grocery shop; too hot to venture outside, call or WhatsApp your list and the grocery will be delivered to your house. Online service of all branded clothes has become a norm, and then there are online services where you can also get household items and electronic items.

“Online shopping has its own charm,” says Yasmeen, who works at a private bank and has strict timings. “When I reach home after a day’s work I have no stamina to go shopping. Plus there are household chores to attend to. Since most brands have the facility to shop online I usually buy my clothes here. Then there are entrepreneurs who only have online presence but have good stuff.” She has also bought cosmetics and household stuff online and sounds quite satisfied. “The one thing I have never tried is shoes and sandals,” she says. “I can’t buy shoes as the comfort level can only be judged when one tries and takes a step or two. That can only be done at a shop.”

For 25-year-old Sania, who works for a private firm, it all started from buying books. Since she loves to read and reads a lot, she would constantly be buying books. “Browsing shelves upon shelves in a bookstore needs time, and time is always short for working women,” she says. “So I started checking relevant websites to see which new books were coming, and then would go and buy them from the store. It saved time. Once, just to try I ordered online and it seemed so convenient, especially with ‘cash on delivery’ option as I am sceptical about using my credit card online. One has heard so many scams that one has to be careful.”

Though there are chances of one not getting what one ordered, online retail is a trend that is here to stay in the long run for it is essentially an outdoor activity that is now done inhouse over a steaming cup of coffee.

She concedes that after success with books, she has started ordering clothes and artificial jewellery, too. “Though I do not yet have any bad experience, I have heard that there is a difference in the clothes’ colours/shades from what is shown in the picture or the embroidery is not that fine,” she says.

Marsha, student at a private university, is into clothing and cosmetics and often orders online. “Back in the days when I started to order online I wasn’t aware about fake products, but gradually I learnt that some Facebook retailers often deal in fake products or what we call ‘copy’ without declaring it to be so,” she says. “I initially did not have a wonderful experience with any of my orders, and a lot of exclusive things on the websites were pricey. I mostly purchase cosmetics from certain Facebook pages that vary in the sense that one takes online orders whereas some have a website as well as a shop in one of the malls.”

Marsha prefers cash-on-delivery payment as then she is spared the task of using her credit card online. She says, “The retailers I use also have policies where in case the product has been damaged in shipping or it is not what was ordered they vow to send the product again. After getting enough knowledge regarding online orders, I have never been disappointed in my purchases from cosmetics to clothing.”

Marsha may not have had any bad experience and may be feeling confident that the places she orders from have a replacement policy, people warn that all retailers do not have such a policy and once you receive your parcel, you cannot return or exchange it. Some retailers even do not provide a return address and deliver through courier services that are just dispatchers and take no responsibility. In fact, you can’t hold them, the couriers, responsible as they deliver what they receive in the form of package.

There are some retailers who openly declare that they sell copies, and claim their copies are as good as original and seem to be doing good business as everyone cannot afford to buy a lawn suit for Rs5,000. But Mona, a mother of three who works at a private firm, was disappointed when she ordered a couple of ‘copy’ suits in summer. “After a single wash, the material got quite rough, especially the chiffon dupatta became quite flimsy,” she says. “I never buy copies, but this time took the chance as someone had highly recommended the seller.”

It seems such things happen, especially when one purchases from new entrepreneurs who are probably not serious or not bothered about their reputation, and are there for quick bucks. Most people who shop online prefer established retailers/brands. In a society where scams are so rampant, it seems to be the best bet, especially for novices.

Fouzia, who works for a media house, is not a regular when it comes to online shopping. But she seems to have made it a point to make her purchases from known sites or Facebook pages. “The few times that I shopped online, it has been through established platforms,” she says. “I have also bought makeup from the website of a local makeup manufacturing company and a couple of websites selling women’s clothes.”

She finds it to be a convenient way for shopping items that one can order in one’s leisure time in the privacy and comfort of one’s home or during break at work. “The items arrive on time that the page or website promises and with some, there is also the option for returning the stuff. Indeed, in today’s hectic lives where sometimes it is difficult to take a trip to the mall, online shopping provides a huge variety that is just a click away. Buying from pages is even easier than websites — you place an order, they call or message to confirm, and in two to three days, your item is with you.

With most retailers you can just go on their website or page to place an order while some provide the facility of ordering through WhatsApp as well. This has made shopping very convenient. However, some major retailers have their special apps which you can easily download.

The trend for online shopping is gaining momentum, as some clothing brands start pre-launch booking, especially in the lawn season. Customers who are on the lookout go through their catalogues available online and book their designs in their quest to be seen in the latest designs.

Huma, who hesitates from buying clothes online, recalls that she once went to the market to buy something from a particular brand which had just a week earlier had launched its collection, and she was shocked to hear that all the best designed were already sold out. Whether it was due to online promotion or just her luck, she is not sure but agrees that online availability does have an effect.

Many online retailers offer sales from time to time — sometimes just a daylong sale or a week on special occasions. This is perhaps due to competition or to increase attraction. People who regularly shop online wait for these sales as they know they would get good bargains without the hassle of going to the market and haggle with shopkeepers for discount, or having to battle the crowds that are seen at outlets of known brands when they go on sale.

Like all things, online shopping — whether for clothes, bags or grocery — has its pluses and minuses, but it all depends on the person and varies from individual to individual. As they say: to each his own.

I REMEMBER watching a few years ago a documentary which explained a theory saying that humans have anatomically evolved from fish. Yes, fish. For some reason I felt disgusted back then, but in the last year or so I have often thought that maybe there is some truth in that theory. The pout-and-click culture is what has changed my stance. In case you are living under a rock and don’t yet know what a ‘selfie pout’ is, it is an act of borderline crazy where you puff up and curl your lips out in an attempt to look good and what-not in a photograph taken essentially by yourself while completely ignoring the efforts of the viewers who when come across your post have to fight a huge urge to smash their phones on the wall every time. No matter how much they are made fun of, pouts and selfies have taken over the whole social media for some time – even LinkedIn!

That is just sad if you ask me. When I was a kid, my social network was called ‘outside’. If I, for a moment, ignore the popular conspiracy theories, social media was designed to let people know what we were doing but it has turned the other way around unfortunately. Now we do things to let people know. The Generation-Y, don’t know why, has a bottomless thirst for social media acceptance. Having your friends on social media is not enough anymore.

After all, what’s the point of being happy if you are not going to post it? People used to travel and post photos on their social media profiles. Now they are saving money for months to travel so they can post photos. If you are going somewhere interesting or somewhere at all, you are required to post a photo online as an evidence of your ‘awesome’ experience or else the world will think it didn’t happen. I wonder if people get together with their friends because they missed being with them anymore, or they just want to take pictures to show the world that they are having such a good time with friends or they actually do have some real friends at least. This is getting seriously insane.

We have given a completely superficial connotation to the term ‘being liked’. It is all about how often your social media buddies ‘like’ whatever you do or appear to do. We are so consumed by these numbers that not only we channelize our efforts into doing things we think people on social media will like, but sometimes we even go as far as to skip the uncertainty and outright ask people to ‘like’ our posts. Don’t tell me you never received a message from an unnerved friend of yours complaining that you haven’t already ‘liked’ his picture with that obnoxious cat of his. People even question religious beliefs in certain posts if you don’t ‘like’ them. They can offer you a guaranteed place in the heaven themselves if you ‘like’ their post and may be throw in a few more heavenly luxuries if you make a couple of your friends ‘like’ it too. I am planning to soon create an account with the name ‘Nobody’. So, when someone posts something stupid to hoard ‘likes’ they can see that ‘Nobody likes this!’

The thing to remember in terms of online behaviour is that people tend to share their best moments and skip the messy ones.

Social media has empowered us to ‘like’ everything people do even when we don’t actually like them at all. That is some empowerment! We may soon have to ‘like’ people themselves rather than their antics. I don’t want to receive a message from someone complaining that I don’t ‘like’ him on the social media, because in truth I don’t like most of them in real life.

One of the tangible proofs of this culture of fake ‘liking’ can easily be witnessed when one of the famed Facebook pages post a video and get 300 likes in three minutes when the video itself is 20 minutes long. That is how phony this whole game of ‘liking’ things is. Between the number of thumbs on Facebook and hearts on Instagram, we have become virtually obsessed with gathering public approval over the internet.

When people get married these days, the grand announcement on the social media seems to be more important than the actual event itself. First, dates must be announced with pictures of the ‘great-looking’ partner. Photos taken during the events are more significant to show your friends how cute is your spouse-to-be, instead of focussing on the quality and personality of the person you are getting married to. Single people begin to feel bitter about their own hopeless lives seeing romantic couples on their newsfeed because it is a deliberate and constant reminder that they haven’t found someone yet while everyone on Facebook are having their apparently perfect relationships.

It’s quite easy to forget that people only post their best moments online and prefer to hide away the worst ones; even the messy ones. If rather than those royal wedding arrangements and their hugging photos with Khaala, their Facebook wall featured wedding arrangement bills and a video of how their Khaala created a scene because she didn’t like, say, the biryani, single people will never cuss their lives.

When it sets off like this, it obviously trickles down in the married life of the couple. It appears that the strength of your relationship is arbitrated by how many pictures you post with your special someone, how chummy you are in those photos and how romantic your words are in the photo descriptions.

Don’t let this social media madness fool you, folks. There are a lot of people who hardly have any ‘likes’ on their pictures, but they still have plenty of friends in real life. There are couples I know who hardly ever upload romantic photos, they rarely or may be never post sugar-coated nothings to market their love on their statuses, but they are actually happier than the ones you see very frequently in your newsfeeds.

MRS Ahmed was quite happy, and was receiving the guests with a smile and a tinge of pride on her face. Why wouldn’t she be happy: everything was as she wanted it to be — about 500 guests chatting and talking, music playing in the background, food aplenty, the bride resplendent in all her finery sitting next to her smart groom on the stage. Everything was perfect. After the rukhsati she went back home happy and contented, though tired.

It was the third function she had hosted in connection with her only daughter’s wedding that week. The next day was the valima and then she could actually relax. She had been too busy and tense with the preparations.

The following week brought another set of tension though. As she sat down with her husband to balance her accounts book and see what further payments needed to be made, they realised that they had far exceeded their budget. She knew she was going over her budget, as Mr Ahmed had during the course of preparations told her that he will have to take loan if they did not watch their spending. But she had thrown caution to the wind and now she was in debt to the tune of more than a couple of million rupees.

She was now thinking she could have saved at least some amount by not being too extravagant but at that time her only thought was to see her daughter happy and to give the best of everything to her. They were not so rich, just comfortably well off, and with Ahmed about to retire they had to think of the future. Paying off the debts would eat up all the retirement benefits he expected to receive.

Whether it is parental love, peer pressure, or fear of being called penny-pinchers, people do follow the trend blindly when it comes to weddings. Why?

There are so many ‘Ahmed’ families in our society who, when it comes to spending on weddings, would spare no expense whether they could afford it or not. And there is no limit for those who are rolling in money and can do whatever they want. Perhaps the likes of Ahmeds try to compete with social moneybags and later find themselves in heavy debts.

“In fact, it is this urge to outdo one another that has brought things to this stage,” says Salma S, a housewife. “A few years ago, weddings were not such an elaborate an affair. There would be three to five functions from both sides but they were not as elaborate. Those who could afford would hold functions at five-star hotels but those who couldn’t would peg a tent on the road side and seat and serve the guests there.”

Farhana, who has recently come from abroad and had attended a couple of weddings among close relatives, was shocked to see the change that has taken place. “Even the guests were more extravagantly dressed,” she remarks. “Everybody seemed to have a designer outfit and coming from a beauty parlour.” What surprised her the most was the mehndi functions — what with choreographed dances and dance floors at the venue.

“This is something new,” she says. “A few years back, the mehndi would be held at home, with the would-be bride wearing the mayun ka peela jora and the only jewellery would be flowers and that too were those which the grooms family brought for her. The bride’s friends and cousins would sing songs on dhol or put on a CD of filmi songs to dance on. But it is not so any more. Now it is as elaborate a function as the wedding itself, with the bride in designer outfit and heavy jewellery.”

Mrs Tehreem’s daughter got married a couple of years ago. Those who attended the functions had all the good things to say about the event. But someone very close to her heard her musing: “Why am I spending so much on food and venue? I could have given this money to my daughter which she could have made use of while setting-up her own house.”

When asked why then she did not curtail the expenses by having the functions at a lower scale, she said, “I couldn’t do so. In the first place my daughter wouldn’t have agreed as all her friends and cousins had such arrangements and if I had wanted not to follow the trend, she would have been upset. How could I do something to upset her on the big day? Secondly, people would have called us misers or penny-pinchers if we had resorted to simplicity. They know we could afford all the expenses.”

So what is it — parental love, peer pressure, fear of being called penny-pincher or just following the trend blindly?

It is not just the money being spent on lavish dinners. Each and everything is becoming so elaborate and lavish. People would argue the logic behind a bridal dress for Rs500,000 but when it comes to buying for themselves or their children, they would not look in any other direction but go to one of the high-end designers. Any casual objection would be met with “It’s not every day that a bridal dress is bought! After all it’s my daughter’s wedding.” At this point they would completely forget that the dress would only be worn for a few hours and then be stashed away safely in the cupboard. And it is not just one dress. A bridal trousseau comprises numerous outfits, and they all cost in the thousands, if not more.

No doubt, the bride wants to look gorgeous on her big day and stand out, but spending like that can’t be called sensible.

The number of functions has increased. People are expected to attend five to six functions hosted by the same family in connection with the same event. It seems as if the guests have nothing else to do but attend wedding-related functions. It is not just one family that is inviting them. In the wedding season some people have to attend three different functions in an evening. How tiring it can get for the guests — coming back late at night and then going to office, sending the children to school in the morning and then again getting ready to go to a function in the evening. If one fails to attend a function, they run the risk of the host minding it, even taking it as an affront to their pride.

And look at the importance being given to dholkis. Some years back, friends and cousins of the bride and groom would gather at their place at their own convenience and sing and dance at the beat of the dhol or some other music being played. But now, these events are properly planned and for dance practice often a choreographer is hired.

“At my friend’s wedding, the dholkis continued for 15 days,” says Sana. “We would gather every evening at her place for practice sessions for song and dance, and had a lovely fun time. The bride’s family would arrange refreshments and later dinner as some of us would go their direct from our workplaces.”

Just imagine a group of 15-20 youngsters gathering at the bride’s or groom’s place and the family having to host them — even if casually and not lavishly. Someone’s attention, time and energy were consumed in arranging food for these merrymakers, which could have been productively utilised.

The worst is when someone decides to hold a musical function prior to the wedding or convert one of the dholkis into a musical night — the whole neighbourhood is bound to be disturbed with the noise as the amplifiers are playing on loud. There is no consideration that there would be elderly and sick people who need proper rest, and children have to have a night’s sleep to be able to attend school the next day.

As if that was not enough, a new trend that is picking up fast is bridal shower, or the gift-giving party by the bride’s friends. Initially arranged and hosted by the bridesmaid with other friends, now often the bride’s mother too plays the host. The custom is said to have grown out of earlier dowry practices where a poor family might not have the money to provide a dowry for the bride. It is also said that it has its origins in situations where a father refused to give dowry because he did not approve of the marriage, and the bride’s friends gathered together and bought gifts that would compensate for the dowry. Whatever the origin, it is now becoming a practice and an occasion for merrymaking in well-to-do families.

Those who can afford can do whatever they want — though extravagance is still not justified — but the problems arise when the not-so-well-off and the poor try to follow in their footsteps. Some years back, to ease the problems of the poor people who felt compelled to serve four to five dishes at the wedding, the government had enforced a ban on serving food at wedding functions — in some areas, such as Punjab, one dish was allowed. But somehow people found lacunas in the law and continued to served lavish dinners on various pretexts, such as wedding anniversary or aqiqa in which cases dinner was allowed. Those who could not find any excuse to serve dinner would send it over to the groom’s place after the rukhsati so people could be fed there. The same happened at the valima.

One was reminded of the law prohibiting dowry over a certain amount could also not be enforced when it was brought about a couple of decades back. People would silently send the dowry to the groom’s place a day or two prior to the wedding.

The question that remains unanswered is: Why do people have to do all this? Why can’t we have our weddings like common people do in the civilised world?

VIRAT Kohli and Anushka Sharama got married in a close-knit wedding in an Italian suburb far, far away, not only from the hustle-bustle of Mumbai but even the bride’s Bollywood friends and the groom’s cricket buddies. They were followed by Deepika Padukone and Ranveer Singh in terms of an offshore wedding. Apart from celebrities, a growing number of couples are choosing dream destinations as their wedding location. This of course applies to only those for whom money is not an issue, provided they don’t have it so much that they bring the world to their hometown … like the Ambanis!

Destination weddings are a great way to ensure you have a wedding that is absolutely out of this world. It becomes an unforgettable event for it involves just the couple and a select number of their family and friends, good enough to constitute a refreshing week-long family get-together or an exciting holiday.

Now it has become very simple for full-time wedding coordinators who are familiar with that country’s marriage registration requirements and spectacular locations are easily available. They offer wedding packages that take care of all your ceremony essentials (photographer, cake, arrangements for guests and so on.). Now all one has to do is to step off the plane and sign the contract agreement while the coordinator take care of the rest.

Apart from picturesque locations in various cities couples who look for ultimate in romance also opt for open sea for weddings in cruise-ships. But wedding in the open sea at times involves some logistical challenges that can be avoided in a land-based wedding in one’s hometown and as such it is not very common. They need to figure out how to get a marriage registered and with whom when solemnised in the middle of the sea. They also have to be ready with a Plan B in case of bad weather or mechanical troubles causing their ship on the wedding day. But then smart wedding planners efficiently handle any such untoward situation.

With pockets overflowing, destination weddings represent one of the ways to ensure you have a really once-in-a-lifetime event to cherish.

If you are planning a cruise wedding, say in Jamaica, there are a number of wedding planners who can organise your wedding celebrations. Their packages start at $1700 for up to 12 persons. Several cruise-lines also have private islands for weddings. Mauritius offers adventurous couples all the excitement and marriage rituals inside an impressive submarine in the crystal clear waters of the Indian Ocean. The Luxurious Submarine Wedding is a concept that seeks to bring the ultimate in romance and commitment and you may do so even while being 30 metres underwater inside the magnificent transparent submarine.

Generally speaking, in a marriage ceremony, designer’s wedding dress, novel invitation cards, wedding cake and flowers are all that really matters. But the up and coming billionaire bachelors believe that it is the venue that packs the biggest style punch. For instance, an international wedding planner’s advertisement reads, “Picture this: Instead of walking down an aisle, you and your partner stride from opposite sides of a wooden bridge suspended over the water, meeting in the middle to say your “I dos” in a serene cove. Well, that is just one of the many gorgeous wedding backdrops at a small hotel overlooking the Caribbean.”

It even offers deserts and mountains as wedding destinations and adds that what could be dreamier than getting married at one of the country’s amazing mountain wedding venues, surrounded by all of nature’s glory. While these venues are beautiful at any time of year, mountain wedding locations have a cosy feel that is particularly appropriate during the colder-weather months.

A number of international wedding planners also suggest deserts as ideal, because its stunning sunsets make them the perfect place to capture your wedding in pictures. Another great aspect about a desert is that you can accomplish nearly any kind of theme; from a rustic-chic gathering to a very formal affair, desert venues can accommodate just about any style. This allows couples to incorporate whatever details they would like without the worry of clashing with an indoor carpet or wallpaper.

Though the travel agents and international wedding planners say that a destination wedding is no more an expensive and clichéd affair, still only billionaires can afford it. But then the fact remains that the number of billionaires is growing rapidly and accordingly the destination weddings.

According to a CNN report, at the Hotel Riu in Montego Bay, Jamaica, wedding packages start at just $1,700 and include a beach ceremony for up to 20 guests, a wedding coordinator, reception and even a wedding cake. Room rates are also relatively inexpensive, beginning at $200 for an all-inclusive three-night stay (all meals and beverages included). Though the package does not include room rent for guests, even any show-off Pakistani millionaire can afford it.

About the wedding budget, some say that things get out of hand when it comes to wedding spending. But then most of the well-to-do parents argue that it is a day that comes but once in a person’s life and as such it should be celebrated with pomp and pageantry. To them it is indeed an event to overindulge if you have the wealth.

In Pakistan also, the dynamics of wedding planning have changed so drastically over the last decade or so that the celebrations today, even in the middle class, are poles apart from what they used to be. The game-changer has been people’s ability to spend and, indeed, the desire to spend thanks mainly to the wedding ceremonies shown in Indian cinema as well as the sudden appearance of the typical wedding planners in the country.

Every parent wants to make the wedding of their children the most memorable event of their time. Some even choose to go all out with multiple functions and inviting half the town to be part of their celebrations. Destination wedding has also become a growing trend and many couples choose to take their destination wedding to countries like Turkey and Thailand. There are a large number of Pakistanis who can spend a couple of millions on the holiday sites in these two countries and even in countries like Malaysia and Indonesia.

According to a report published in Dawn, some of the favourite destinations today are Malaysia, Hawaii and Bangkok. A wedding planner based in Pakistan said: “When it comes to destination weddings, we know what you need for an elegant and fun celebration. We know you want an experience that is stress-free and filled with personalised details that reflect your lifestyle. We can accommodate over 100 guests for overnight stay during the entire event. Our destination wedding services include arranging weddings at selected destinations in Dubai, Turkey, Egypt and Thailand. We facilitate your entire arrangements, including travel, stay, banquets, and other activities.”

It goes without saying that countries which attract tourists are considered to be the ideal place for destination wedding and Pakistan has immense potential right from the mighty stretches of the Karakoram in the north to the vast delta of the Indus River in the south. Pakistan is blessed with rich and varied flora and fauna. High Himalaya, Karakoram and the Hindukush ranges with their alpine fields and permanent snow line, coniferous forests down the sub-mountain scrub, the vast Indus plain merging into the great desert have all the potentials to attract the international wedding planners.

All that is required is to make an all-out effort to develop this as a full-fledged revenue generating industry. There are a number of amazingly beautiful places in Pakistan which can be explored for destination wedding not only for those living in Pakistan but even the foreigners.

Asma Ahmed Bham in a post said that Pakistan is no stranger to scenic beauty and suggests following top locations in Pakistan for a destination wedding:

Khaplu Palace, locally known as Yabgo Khar, which literally means ‘the fort on the roof” because it is located 8,500 feet above sea level. It is an important cultural and architectural heritage located in the Ghanche District of Baltistan. This palace is open for visitors from March through November. While different months bring with it different activates, October and November may be the best time for holding a wedding ceremony there. The temperature is close to 22 degrees (perfect for holding your makeup in place!) and the autumn colours really help add to the rustic aesthetic of the location.

Hunza Valley, a mountainous valley located in the extreme north of Pakistan, it borders with Wakhan Corridor of Afghanistan and the Xinjiang region of China. The capital of Hunza is Karimabad, formally known as Baltit and is known for its cherry blossom trees, which are in full bloom during late March and early April. Surely having your wedding photo-shoot with friends and family or an intimate shoot with your beloved with the cherry blossom trees in the background will result in some strikingly unique photographs.

Azad Kashmir, a heaven on earth is incredibly clichéd but there is no other way to describe the natural beauty of this location. Choosing this as a destination for your wedding will surely provide you and your guests with an adventurous experience they have never had, especially if they go to destinations like Neelum Valley, Banjosa Lake and Jhelum Valley.

Often, weekends would be marked by a trip to the casino building housing the Sindbad where a ladybird carousel ride would be in the air surrounded with delighted occupants. Those looking for an additional thrill would board the bus simulator, which was the most popular spot of the entertainment arcade. Now at the same spot people still hang out in large numbers but at a mall which has replaced the old structure.

The ’90s was an age where smart screens had not distorted an individual’s lifestyle. An exchange of books was a common sight. Book stalls on carts or kiosks were spread across multiple thoroughfares. Be it on an empty ground on a spot next to Gulshan-e-Iqbal’s ‘Tuesday Bazaar’ or kiosks within weekly bazaar’s across the city, students would crowd the stalls choosing which story to step into. Discussions within school premises would revolve around which book from the Full House Michelle or Sweet Valley series was borrowed, and showing off an Agatha Christie mystery. Those were the days when books were read, with bookmarks, train tickets, metro passes often found between the pages, retelling additional tales of the former owner with dog ears leading to a tale of the non-fictional life of the book’s past owner – mostly an additional story would be bought with a borrowed book.

Instead of speakers blaring out crude tunes, one would find kids surrounding stereo cassette players listening to Urdu stories bought from audio cassette shops. The audio stories would build up a mood that would leave the listeners in a reverie making them tread the fictional lanes with Ali Baba Aur Chalees Chor.

Remembering Karachi of just a quarter century ago makes it look like a different city altogether. It had colours, shades and hues that don’t match its current existence. The DNA seems to have changed.

The crisp evening air of that decade was an hour – like the golden hour when the streets would be dotted with cycles, infants in prams, taking a stroll with their guardians, and ladies with their evening snacks heartily enjoying their time discussing the mundane matters with their neighbours, on the park benches. The only worry that surrounded the shoulders of yore was staying out until the sun left its last hues on the horizon or pedalling too fast and tripping over unpaved roads.

Returning home with a few scratch marks, the time-teller would mark out a countdown for Zakoota jinn to grace the TV screen. The power of Bill Batori’s spells worked their magic long before Hermione’s wingardium leviosa. As Zakoota enquired, ‘mjhy kam batao main kya karun, main kis ko khaoon’, the viewers would be wrapping up their homework and devouring the last meal of the day – the limited entertainment sources, as they would now seem, would serve endless hours of joy.

The charm of the brick game or pinball was unbeatable when one would wait for dial-up internet access to successfully gain connectivity to the other side of the world. And just when the connection was secured, and one started chatting on mIRC, a family member could be heard sharing the uncle’s number, waiting for the operator to connect a long distance call to the States. With a stable connection to the West via landline achieved, the internet dreamer’s bubble fell flat.

And the last resort to pacify the anger was to try saving the ball from falling to space – in most minds the recollections of a coloured light platform would pop when a ball was launched on the screen at the press of a space bar. In case of monotony, options would surface in the form of Minesweeper – yes, the 90s had its own version of Minecraft – and solitaire. Once the phone call ends, and access to the internet restored, the dial-up connection failed, again – this time the uncle did not call back, but it was the prepaid card which ran out of credit.

Colours of Karachi were heard at melas – fairs that had steel tracks which would be spotted from afar. As one would stop to get tickets to enter the entryway to food and entertainment, shrieks of excitement could be heard as the rollercoaster’s tyres ran past the steel frame. The few seconds of that childhood pang of ecstasy would only return when the same soul is thousands of miles away in a foreign land hanging upside down on a rollercoaster, reminiscing the days of the past.

Once inside the fair, the kulfiwala’s kiosk pops out of thin air – or so it now seems. Delving into the sugary treat, hits a chord with the nectarous tinge of the Lucky Irani Circus – a travel show that has left entertainers of all ages in awe. The denizens of the city thronged the circus whenever carnival tents would set up a stage in the city by the Arabian. After all, the stunts of the acrobats were not to be missed. No way.

Karachi’s roads were sprinkled with many Ghazi Ki Deewani’s or artwork comprising mythological characters – not only did each public bus hold something for an individual pair of eyes, but words of wit would come in bags thrown out to all those willing to gain the insight.

While one would be beating the clock’s tick to reach the workspace without being marked late, roadside rituals frequently spotted by the residents of the megalopolis included many feeding pigeons, a deed that still goes on today.

Another roadside feast frequently spotted was the local mini version of the Ferris Wheel – a wooden-framed pushcart that had four seats which moved through lanes at the beck and call of the kids. A frequent sight was a queue formation of young dreamers. Each kid would be settled in one of the four available seats of solid colours by the man operating it. After all the seats would be occupied, the thrill of being in the air offered the kids ones cheap thrill long before Sia came into the frame.

A grey-tusked structure stands on the University Road that has been marked and remarked with banners of political parties or sprayed with graffiti, welcoming the passers-by to the Safari Park.

Sweet treats have always maintained a constant in the scenery of the city shrouded in diversity. The swirls of an ice cream cone alone would land many in Mohammed Ali Society – a cone known for its gob smacking coffee and vanilla flavours. If the twirls of an ice cream cone did not sate the sweet buds, the nuts of an ice cream parlour, resounding with the name of a movie beagle, raised the ice cream scale up a grand notch.

The yesteryear was like an unforgettable season. A season marked by playlists that were customised in CD shops. All those humming the popular tunes of the day were seen getting them burned in audio CDs. It was a period when with a click, the latest movie or drama did not start playing. For that alone, one needed to drive and get a move cassette on rent. Most days, the movies which were all the rage were found to have been rented out already, making a buff wait anxiously to get their hands on the VHS cassette to be watched on video cassette recorders.

With Michelangelo, Raphael, Leonardo and Donatello leaving their marks in the minds of the STN/ NTM viewers, and Camp Candy and The Jetsons marking the afternoons in most homes, the 1990s was an era stamped with homey glitter.

As for cities, they have a distinct personality. They have a voice to them, a scent to them, a character which builds and fades as the metropolitan ages. As it grows, it sheds its hues, and takes up pigments that give it a DNA that is unmatched to any other of its kind. Karachi of the 1990s had a fragrance. For those who would like to take a whiff just need to queue up and take a glance through the memory’s filter.

EVEN in this age of great scientific advancements, we somewhere somehow use the grandma expertise, especially her tips on health and treating ailments in day-to-day life. Though the beauty industry is becoming increasingly complex and the pace of change is so fast that what is true today probably won’t be true tomorrow, most of grandma’s tried and tested products are still around and are just as effective. Above all, grandmas are known for passing down all sorts of beauty secrets and well preserved family recipes to the granddaughters along with helpful advice. All gratis of course!

The best part is the fact that most of their beauty products can be made from items available in the kitchen. For instance, cucumber as a natural toner and skin lightener, lemons for a natural bleaching effect on the skin, almonds as an eye mask to cure dark circles, eggs for naturally tightening the skin, papayas to soften and clean the skin, tomatoes to reduce excess oiliness on the skin, raw potatoes to remove blemishes from the skin and so on.

Interestingly enough, the more modern and tech-savvy women from posh localities are seemingly going back to their roots in the true sense of the term. The imminent trend of organic food and beauty products among those living in the most expensive neighborhoods of the country can be quoted as an instance.

Although the organic wave has yet to hit our lower middle class Pakistani, they are fast switching over from cheap beauty creams to Zubaida Apa’s cut-and-dried beauty recipes. Even the known beauticians have already started advocating the use of herbal and organic products because they now feel that as human beings, we all are inherently organic, therefore, we are at our healthiest when eating organic, applying organic and just being organic. In fact, a growing number of consumers have already started switching over from chemical-filled cosmetics to expensive, plant-based alternatives.

A new industry based on grandma’s recipe has changed the very concept of beauty and has led to a platform that is not just positive but also friendly to the environment.

The herbal beauty boom is a part of the major shift in consumer consciousness about health and wellness. According to a report, natural skin care is growing fast, almost eight times, compared to last year in terms of online searches.

When we in Pakistan, or for that matter wherever Pakistanis live, speak of grandma’s beauty tips, we generally speak of tips given by the late and beloved Zubaida Apa in various TV programmes. In a way she was the spokesperson for all grandmas. A very long list of her tips is readily available on the internet. Though Pakistan cosmetic industry has so far not been able to produce any trusted ready-to-use beauty products or drive any benefit from the available recipes, the West has started cashing in on grandma’s beauty recipe.

Last year, Grand View Research announced that the global organic beauty market was likely to reach $15.98bn by 2020, as demand for organic skincare, haircare and colour cosmetics drives consumers to look for natural and organic labels. According to same research, skincare products, being the most sought after in the global organic beauty market, is expected to emerge as the most attractive segment with 30.9 per cent share by 2024, followed by haircare.

If we closely examine the current beauty-care trends, we discover that quite a large number of health practices from over 100 years ago still have a lot of inherent value today. Though my grandmother didn’t make it to be 100 unfortunately, she had a flawless skin. I remember her every morning scooping out a teaspoon full from the plate of fresh Malai we used to have with Paratrha in the morning and apply it on her face after mixing it with a few drops of honey. She used to let it be on her face for 20 minutes and then wash it off. She used to tell her granddaughters that Malai softened her skin, while the honey cleansed it and kept it free of acne. This is just one example; she had many more.

In short all her homemade beauty-care products were a safer and cheaper alternative than what is available on the market with different brand names today. It goes without saying that good skin has become more important for women in today’s culture and as such products prepared based on tried and tested formula of grandmas seem to be the future of this industry. Naturally so because now consumers want products they feel are safe enough for use by themselves and their children.

With the global environmental concerns becoming more severe, the demand for better standards of organic ingredients has also risen. Consumers are also inclining towards natural beauty and products that help enhance their look and brighten their face. They demand complete transparency regarding the ingredients that go into the products they use. Therefore, going back to the basics is the only way out. This shift of inclination towards safer and organic personal care and cosmetics, has led to many companies exploring natural cosmetic ingredients.

According to a report on business opportunities, as people are increasingly choosing natural and homemade products, it is safe to say that it is profitable to venture into the homemade cosmetics business.

Your grandma’s beauty tips may just be all the beauty inspiration you need. Sometimes there is no need to scrounge the internet; your grandma knows a thing or two. Just ask her.

We learn a lot from our mothers and grandmothers, spanning all sorts of life issues and topics — from relationship wisdom to family recipes passed down from generation to generation. Interestingly enough, one of the most sought after dermatologist of USA, Dr. Marina Peredo, was quoted recently as having said thus: “I had freckles and hated them, so I used to ask my grandmother, ‘Why do I have these?’ She taught me to use lemon to help lighten them. Funny, that I was using alpha-hydroxy fruit acids before I knew what they were. Of course, she also told me stay out of the sun and never use this method when going out in the sun. Afterward, she asked me to use aloe vera to soften the skin and reduce any irritation. She was a big fan of aloe vera as it grows naturally in Arizona. We used to drink it, eat it and bath in it! We used it for sunburns as well and if I had a few of those, she would make me take a cold bath with aloe vera gel. Brr!”

GOING on a international vacations takes a lot of planning. Deciding on a destination is just the start. Visas, tickets, accommodation. These are just the basics that an oft travelled person on the beaten path knows has to tackle. But what about the first-time traveller? It is difficult just managing to have the passport made in Pakistan. So just imagine the shocks that await the first-time traveller from our end. So here is a mini-guide to what awaits you on your inaugural journey outside the country.

THE HOME FRONT: Before you even board a plane, you need to have all your documents in order. It all starts with the CNIC which is your basic identification card wherever you go. The information on that card is what is also reflected on your passport. Speaking of which, make sure your passport is valid for another six months for the duration of your travel. I know someone for whom getting a Turkish visa was a no-go as her passport had only six months left on it.

Then there is the ticket on which the name and the required information should be correct. Baggage information, time duration of the journey and meal (chicken or vegetarian) all should be checked and finally accepted. Also, ensure you have a valid visa – valid is the key word here. You know what they say about assumption being the mother of all …!

And then there is the matter of finances. Dollars, Euros or Pounds in cash. If you are going to any other country, some of the local currency is also good. But what is not good is the Pakistan Rupee. It’s not recognised and not accepted. So, a couple of thousand rupees for hiring a cab on the return leg is good enough. And, yes, the amount should not exceed the State Bank of Pakistan limit. There, then, you are set with your basic preparation.

Travelling abroad for the first time carries its own excitement, but the key lies in considering every step before taking it. Keep it simple and the fun is all there to be had.

PERSONAL EXPECTATIONS: Where and when you are headed dictates your travel wardrobe. Sometimes you need two sets of clothes to account for a radical change in weather. Days in Istanbul maybe pleasant during the winters, but at night, the weather really dips. Your medicine pouch should be enough to last you through the trip. Bathroom accessories too should be there. Remember, all these things can be gotten where you are going, but they will cost you in dollars.

Then there is the accommodation. Personal experience dictates that even if you have relatives in that particular place, always opt for paid accommodation. You don’t agree? Try and live with your brother-in-law and you will long cherish the dream of independence.

These can be hotels or AirBnB accommodation. Plenty of websites around to guide are there for you to make a planned judgement. Hotels are cheapest and best in the East. Europe is so expensive that AirBnB is the best option. The US and Canada too have places for budget accommodation.

Hotels in the southeast Asian region are not only cheaper but spacious as well. As they go about developing their tourist economy, the standard of affordable living for visitors just keeps getting better. In Europe, hotels are a luxury. That is why you will find families renting out their guest-rooms. There are even university dormitories, hostels, convents renting out places that work equally better.

Language maybe a barrier at certain places but you can surpass that with the help of Google translator. You won’t find mint chocolates on the pillows at these places, but personalised service in terms of where to go and what to visit is forthcoming. Travel sites are quick to post about four- and five-star accommodation, leading you to believe that that is the only option. That is not the case.

OPTIONS: If you are a good planner, there is an interesting alternative at least in Europe that is unbelievably light on the pocket; the trains. Suppose you are travelling from Spain to Italy or even Greece, get bunked accommodation on the train, start the journey late in the night and arrive at your destination by the next morning. Sure it requires a lot of planning, and the choice is between admiring the German industrial heartland and sleeping, but this sort of budgeting helps and is, indeed, fun. And the European trains are great accommodation too. We are accustomed to travelling in Pakistani trains and falling asleep with their rickety raking. So the super smooth European trains shouldn’t be an issue.

EN GUARD: Contrary to what you may have heard or read, my travel experience has told me Pakistanis are some of the nicest people on the planet. When we see a foreigner, we just roll out the king’s carpet for them. Our hospitality knows no bounds. Which is why we expect the same, and in most cases don’t get it. Even worse, we are ignored or, in extreme cases, robbed!

Stories of Pakistani travellers losing their belongings to unscrupulous elements are too common. So why take a chance? Passport is your most precious commodity, followed by the money. Don’t keep them both in one place. The passport should be in the front pocket and nowhere else. Money, some in the front pocket, some in the socks, in the jeans pocket. But never in the bag or any other luggage. Tales of anguished Pakistani travellers continue to remind us of our fears.

ALL ABOARD: Where to go and when to leave. These are default questions. The destination is a personal preference thing, you may have read about a place or saw it in a movie. It all depends on which kind of weather you want to enjoy. Usually it is anything but the winters. Also, maybe you want to avoid the crowds and avail discounts, so you opt for the off-season, that is when there are no festivals happening abroad and schools are closed at home. These could be between the spring summer season, or the summer autumn. New Year and Christmas are the most packed festivals.

GREAT EXPECTATIONS: For the first-time traveller it is always a hard choice when it comes to money. You think you have enough only to find out the food costs more than you estimated, and that doesn’t take much dampening your spirits. If not that, then the shopping breaks your back. Food is expensive in Europe. You even have to pay for the ketchup at an international food chain. Towards the East, it is the shopping that pulls in your bucks. 

It is never too early to plan. Remember this is Pakistan where overnight rules change and the money supply goes abrupt. So it is good to start buying your foreign exchange well in advance. The major currencies are always good buy; Dollar, Euro and Pound. Then go for the currency of the country you plan on travelling to; the Malaysian Ringgit, the Turkish Lira and so on. Just enough to start off the vacations with. Make sure you also have a valid credit card to go with. Not necessarily to charge it, but just as a backup for unseen emergencies.

A note of caution here, your credit card has been issued against the Pakistani rupee but when you spend it abroad you get charged much more. So when you spend it, say in Turkey, the Rupee is converted into Liras, converted into dollars and then converted back into Rupees. And then, there are bank charges to knock your socks off. So, credit card is for emergency and nothing more.

HUNGER PANGS: Halal food is an issue when travelling to places that aren’t Muslim-majority. And during a vacation that can create an issue. In the major cities, that is not an issue. London is replete with Muslim cuisine. So is Paris and Amsterdam. You can also go for Jewish cuisine, their Kosher meals. However, where there is difficulty in choosing to look for meals or exploring the city, you can also learn to live off the French fries or sea food, or even bread and butter. Thankfully, the water we drink is the same!

BEWARE: Don’t take anything that can create trouble for you. Cooked food, for one. In fact, in Malaysia, you cannot bring in mangoes. Limit yourself to only 20 packets of cigarettes if you happen to be a smoker. Paan is a definitely no-no.  

Remember, you are travelling to another country and another culture. Abide by the law. Don’t be too adventurous. If you get caught, you have had it. No chacha or mamoo is coming to your help. Smoking in confined areas; hotel rooms, cabs and public spaces is not allowed. Singapore has unbending rules to that end. They don’t even allow chewing gum! This basically means one should make sure of every step before taking it. Keep it simple and the fun is all yours.