America’s love affair with its first black president seems to be winding up. — Dawn

July 4 came and went. There were no mouth-watering deals that called for ‘shop till you drop.’ The stores were not giving away stuff at half the price nor were the shoppers going bananas cashing their 20 per cent discount coupons that the mailman keeps bombarding us with. And of course the rich had taken off to celebrate in greener pastures leaving the immigrant population and the blacks to ogle at designer outlets at high-end shopping malls.

Rewind to 1999. Remember Prime Minister Nawaz Sharif’s dash to Washington after the Kargil fiasco? President Bill Clinton was not amused to receive an unwelcomed visitor over his July 4 holidays. Apart from taking his army chief General Pervez Musharraf (?), Sharif took along his missus and various family members for the joy ride. It was reported that some stores that the first family wanted to rampage were told to stay open well beyond the closing hours. Shopping deals offered then must have indeed been a steal for the Sharifs to return home with a planeload of lollies.

No such luck anymore! Well for one, 614,000 Americans lost their jobs last month, sending the jobless rate to 9.5 per cent, hitting a 26-year high. Americans who live on their credit cards are defaulting in their payments at a rate not seen in decades. So no more shopping. While families had a field day at fairs celebrating their 233rd independence day rounding it off with spectacular fireworks at night, the governor of South Carolina was celebrating his own homespun adulterous ‘love story’ with his Argentinean mistress now spun out of control and spilled over into the realm of disbelief.

Mark Sanford, 49, recently emoted to the press about his paramour’s grace and kindness; intelligence and sophistication; warm eyes, gentle kisses and ‘erotic beauty . . . in the faded glow of night’s light.’ Father of four sons and husband of 20 years is publically weeping, sighing, lamenting, moaning, grieving for his ‘soul mate’ Maria, the lover he must forget to fall in love with his wife Jenny again. ‘I’m trying to fall in love with my wife again,’ he goes around wimping.

But seriously, how can a middle-aged man who is the governor of a state go around like a love sick puppy? The media laps up every salacious bit of his story that appears to be endless. He’s an open book who feels no remorse in admitting publically that he has had many other extra-marital affairs but ‘never crossed the ultimate line.’ Go figure what the ultimate line is. Sandy Banks of Los Angeles Times says that it’s a relief to know that this ‘married politician’s sexual transgression’ doesn’t involve ‘hookers, sex tapes, young interns, homosexual confessions or anonymous encounters in bathroom stalls.’ Instead, the story revolves around an Argentinean woman whom Sanford met at a dance floor and fell in love with instantly. The steamy romance that began some eight years ago continues.

The marriage bar appears to be moving up all the time in America. Divorces are still the vogue but pop psychologists are giving a new definition to the phrase ‘soul mate’ now that Governor Sanford is refusing to shut up about his infamous affair. ‘A ‘soul mate’ is what happens when a person discovers a part of themselves that’s been missing, and it’s so exhilarating, so rejuvenating . . . you’re not willing to give it up for anyone or anything,’ says Veronica Thomas, who advises married couples. She says that in middle age, a soul mate often shows up through an affair, ‘because this person is the escape. The spouse is the burdensome reality. With new love, you can be young again.’ Wow!

By the way America’s love affair with its first black president seems to be winding down. With the economy not picking up as it should and instead people losing livelihoods, our very own DawnNews made an appearance on the most popular and widely received TV network in America called Daily News. Jon Stewart, the famous anchor of this comic show talked at length about President Obama’s interview with DawnNews where Obama told Dawn’s interviewer Anwar Iqbal in Washington DC that he can cook ‘qeema … daal … You name it, I can cook it. And so I have a great affinity for Pakistani culture and the great Urdu poets.’

You read Urdu poetry asked Anwar Iqbal. ‘Absolutely’ answered a self-confident Obama.

Barack Obama is an accomplished chef of Pakistani cuisine and reads the great Urdu poets, commented Jon Stewart but ‘Now fix the economy!’ he screamed ‘(Obama is a) Man of many talents…that’s great, now fix the economy!’ repeated Jon Stewart . Comparing Bush to Obama, Stewart said that ‘the pretzel choking guy (Bush), even though he went to Harvard and Yale he went out of his way to come across as a dumb ass…underwhelming, thus expectation was set not particularly high. Barack Obama has taken a different approach…recently with an interview with Pakistan’s Dawn News he said he knows Oodu (Urdu)…’

‘So Mr President while I’m impressed with your Renaissance-man level of knowledge and your blather of subjects, may I humbly say, that’s great, now fix the economy!’

And finally the American First Lady Michelle Obama is hoping to steal her husband’s thunder at Moscow where the presidential couple is scheduled to go for a state visit. The Russians are not expected to go gaga over Mrs Obama because they don’t like wives of their leaders to be bold, strong willed and ambitious. ‘A wife should sit at home, create comfort and cook food,’ said Zoya Getmanova, a female pensioner living in Moscow. ‘She could express her opinions over the dinner table, but she shouldn’t meddle in politics.’

But in America we may see a woman in the White House four years or eight years from now. Want to take a guess who is getting ready for the act? She sure will make it now that Vice President Joe Biden (Pakistan’s big buddy) has just admitted that the Obama administration ‘misread the economy.’
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