November 17, 2007

“Spare the rod and spoil the child” — a hot topic that has remained in the argument of numerous people; especially the parents. Walloping and thumping a child does have an instantaneous effect. Many parents have been successful in putting their children on the right track by beating. But there are also various glorious examples of such parents whose polite words had an everlasting effect on their children. The question that quite involuntarily pounces in our minds is that does the proverb sound right and applicable in today’s world? Doesn’t just words and constant counselling serve the purpose?

Mr Ali, my neighbour, is a proud father of three sons. Quite often do we hear the squawking and sobbing of his children? To a new person, it seems as if he has a “wrestling ring” in his home. By talking to him, I came to know that he uses the “beating method” to mend the ways of his children. His children are excellent in academics and are also disciplined — in front of their father. In this case, beating does serve the purpose as it warns the children of the daunting and dreadful consequences of doing something wrong but not for long. His children feel comfortable to lie at anytime and anywhere. When Mr Ali is out of home, they behave like animals unleashed and do all those things that Mr Ali has forbidden them to do. So does beating serve the purpose?

Many people believe that beating has an everlasting effect. Beating doesn’t only mean torturing brutally but just the phobia of rod helps in keeping discipline. The older generations were docile, meticulous, trustworthy brothers and filial son just because of the phobia of the rod. Today corporal punishment is strictly abhorred and it is thought to be a major reason of unrest prevailing in the world of today.

If a child is given a “dose” with the rod, when he has committed a mistake, he would probably refrain from doing anything wrong again because he has experienced the taste of the bitter pill. These things prove that rod does serve its purpose but what about the other side of the picture?

On the other hand, it is believed that words are more effective than physical abuse. Whipping might make the child remain on the right ‘track’ temporarily but words have a lasting effect. Beating makes a child obstinate and stubborn due to which he tries to hide things from elders and indulges into destructive activities.

Furthermore violence and aggression become a part of his attitude. He throws his tantrums on very minor things and thinks that all matters are solved with the aid of the rod. He applies the same ‘beating method’ in the future for his generation and then it becomes a chain from which gangsters originate. A child runs away from his home as he knows that he would always be beaten there. These ‘bullies’ just think that there isn’t any substitute for the rod, but in fact, there is a remedy for each disease.

A smile packed with benevolence can do miracles. If a child fails in his annual examination, beating wouldn’t give him the ‘present’ of the first position, would it? Encouragement and constant counselling are the things that give birth to the will power in a child. Teaching with polite attitude will develop ‘trust’ between a child and his guardian after which the child feels the pain of losing or in other words hurting his parents. Making the child feel that he is a victor even if he had lost, serves a great deal of purpose. Brick by brick the child hones his skill and sets new goals for him due to that polite behaviour.

In addition beating just shatters the personality of a person. A child with shrugged shoulders, pail colour, spots around his eyes and with unkempt hair is definitely the one treated with the rod.

After weighing the aforementioned arguments it could be judged that although beating has an immediate effect and a scornful scrutiny after beating serves the purpose in some instances but it gives birth to other evils of society too. Constant ‘backup’ counselling, encouragement and optimism does miracles in a child’s life. So I think that the proverb needs to be looked upon ‘SERIOUSLY’!