October 13, 2007

Dear Super Sis,

I have a lot of problems that I want to share. I have a very fair complexion but my face and hands are burning and getting paler day by day. Can you suggest some home remedy because I have alredy tried using SPFs but to no effect. I have by the grace of God a really gifted mind and I used to be a position holder some time back. But nowadays I can’t concentrate on my studies. Is there anything I can do to revive back my grades and focus on bringing top position? I just received my GCE result and the grades are not up to the expectations of my parents and teachers and they are really disappointed. The same girls

who used to run after me have left me because I got two high Bs in my papers. My mom reckons that I should decide myself but I seem to be stuck on giving re-papers or not. I missed As by two and three marks in both papers. Please tell me whether I should give papers again or not; I trust my ability and have worked out my errors but am tensed that what if I get a B again.

Easily fooled K

K, I will go through your list of problems in turn, okay? You say you have already been wearing sunblock to prevent tanning/sunburn but it is not working. Well, for the hot Asian sun, you need to have an SPF of at least 35 to 40. Are you sure you are using that? Usually, medicated sunblocks (that are available OTC at medical stores) are best and you can easily find an SPF as high as 60 among these, so you might want to look into these.

As for home remedies for preventing or reducing tanning/burning, well, here goes. Every day, as soon as you get back home from school, apply fresh tomato slices to your hands and face. This will prevent burning and redness. You can apply cold tea bags to remove tanning.

If you have time, try this: mix together fresh tomato puree, cucumber puree and a few drops of lemon juice, and apply this paste to your skin. Let it dry and reapply the paste again. Repeat this thrice, and then, once it has dried, rinse it off. You will feel the difference within a week’s time. A mixture of honey and lemon juice is also great for treating sunburns, as is fresh aloe vera pulp.

As for your second problem (which I have neatly kept confidential as per your request), well, in your own words, it is a rather stupid thing that you have unnecessarily indulged in. Luckily for you, however, your folks know about it. Most obsessive losers — like the one who is after you — are wimps and they won’t go to any extremes (such as killing you, like you say he has been threatening to do); the reason being that the odds are against them. Everyone already knows that you are being harassed by him and he won’t do anything stupid.

But just to be on the safe side, tell your folks about the fact that this creep is threatening to kill you. At the same time, ignore him and shut him out completely. Block him on all communities and web interaction portals, change your phone number if possible, block him in your email box. Ignore the fact that he is trying to interact with your cousins, and don’t give any reaction whatsoever to his moves. Once he realises that his actions aren’t bothering you, he’ll get bored with you and go the other way. Also, every time he tries to make contact with you in any manner, inform your parents. They should know the frequency with which he is bothering you and accordingly, they may take stronger action if they feel is necessary. Finally, THIS is precisely why I — and the countless other wise people around you younger lot — keep telling you to keep away from unnecessarily over-indulging in members of the opposite sex at this stage. So this time, think with your head for a change and LISTEN.

Lastly, as for your studies, well, I’m not surprised that you haven’t been getting good grades at all. After all, you have been doing everything BUT studying, haven’t you? Sigh. Anyway, well, now that I have given you a possible solution to your other problems, perhaps now would be a good time to pick up your books with a sensible head. There isn’t any rule of thumb to revive your interest in studies; you just have to have the will to work your way up again. Hopefully you have that. So get yourself a cute spiral notebook and fresh stationery, get cracking on those notes, pointers and jottings, and pick things up from where you feel you left them off.

As for your GCE grades, well, two Bs aren’t the end of the world for the ‘A’ level. In fact, they’re decent enough. Most local universities demand at least two Bs and a C for admission and you should be able to manage quite okay if you work hard on your next two exams. If you feel you are too worked up for a re-examination, well, leave it out. You ought to manage quite okay with your present grades, provided that you work hard for the future papers. Good luck. And stay out of trouble.

Confidential to Impatient

Well, well, well. Look what we have here ... another gem of an email.

First of all, Miss Impatient, let me make it very clear to you: I abhor people “hu ryte to me lyk dis,” kappish? So before you — or any of YOU reading this — write to me, DO check your spellings and grammar, thank you.

Secondly, yours is not a problem, young lady. Rather, you are just bent upon turning a perfectly normal world into a morbidly abnormal one for yourself as well as the people around you.

Okay, so you have a crush on this cousin of yours and he might be cute and sweet and all that jazz. What, in the name of God, will you achieve by following him around and telling him over and over that you ‘love’ him? And yes, you are absolutely right: you did explain your problem to me in a very weird way. Score!

The point is: you are too young to juggle a romantic relationship at this stage, even though you might feel like you will explode if you don’t convey your feelings. The best thing to do would be to keep shut on the lovey-dovey talk, behave rationally around him, act like a normal girl for a change and see where things are going over time. Later on, a few years down the road, say, if you are ready for a committed relationship, you might be confident enough to tell your folks about how you feel towards your cousin and this little story might actually be able to go somewhere.

For the time being, it would be stupid to tell him how you feel because it will place you in a very vulnerable position. Your cousin might very well go and tell his folks, have a good laugh at your expense and his folks would then snicker at YOUR folks for having such a silly, ill-behaved daughter. Get my flow? You need to look at the bigger picture. It’s always about the bigger picture, little one. Have a little patience. Cheerios.