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Laughing Not Allowed!
A man joins a multi-national company as a trainee. On his first day, he dials the canteen’s number and shouts into the phone: “Get me a cup of coffee, quickly!” The voice from the other side responds: “You fool, you’ve dialled the wrong extension! Do you know who you’re talking to?”
“No,” replies the trainee. “It’s the Managing Director of the company, you idiot!” The trainee shouts back: “And do you know who you are talking to, you idiot?” “No!” replies the Managing Director angrily. “Thank God!” the trainee says and puts down the phone.
Things you learn from movies:
• Once applied, lipstick will never rub off — even while scuba diving.
• The ventilation system of any building is a perfect hiding place. No one will ever think of looking for you in there and you can travel to any other part of the building without any difficulty.
• The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window of any building in Paris.
• A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating but will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds.
• When paying for a taxi, never look at your wallet as you take out a note — just grab one at random and hand it over. It will always be the exact fare.
• If you lose a hand, it will cause the stump of your arm to grow by 15cm.
• A single match will be sufficient to light up a room the size of a football stadium.
• One man shooting at 20 men has a better chance of killing them all than 20 men firing at one.
• It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts — your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one by one by dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out their predecessor.
• When you turn out the light to go to bed, everything in your room will stillbe clearly visible, just slightly bluish.
• Dogs always know who is bad and will naturally bark at them.
• Rather than wasting bullets, megalomaniacs prefer to kill their arch-enemies using complicated machinery involving fuses, pulley systems, deadly gases, lasers and man eating sharks that will allow their captives at least 20 minutes to escape.
• It is always possible to park directly outside the building you are visiting.
• A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty.
• If you decide to start dancing in the street, everyone you bump into will know all the steps.
Tom: How should I convey the news to my father that I’ve failed again?
David: You just send a telegram: Result declared, past year’s performance repeated.
Teacher: George Wash-ington not only chopped down his father’s Cherry tree, but also admitted doing it. Now do you know why his father didn’t punish him?
One student: Because George still had the axe in his hand.
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