December 16, 2006

Next time someone talks to you, and you feel like touching your nose, don’t! This bit of ‘body language’ could give you away.

People specialising in the study of body language say that touching the nose is linked to momentary stress. Perhaps your calm exterior was hiding an inner turmoil.

Imagine that one day during a cosy little natter with classmates, someone suddenly yells out, “The treat’s on me!” His hand covering his mouth as he utters the words. Watch out! Experts specifically trained to look out for these involuntary movements that people make, suggest that covering the mouth has two signals. It can be a concealment gesture when lying, or when trying to hide a genuine expression.

While outdoors, just stop and look about you. Observe the people around you. Study the way they sit and walk. See how they move their hands, look at their expressions. Watch their gestures. Shush, listen! A special kind of language is being spoken. People may be silent, but their physical posture, gestures, and facial expressions are doing a lot of talking.

Language does not have to be in the form of words. So forget what you say to impress — it’s what your body says that really counts. Body language speaks louder than any words.

One body language researcher even claimed that up to 93 per cent of the impact in a face-to-face message is, in fact, nonverbal. In other words, body language is more powerful than speech. You may not be conscious of these tell-tale signs, but people who understand them can clearly read their hidden meanings.

A school student struggling with a mathematical problem may suddenly start chewing at a pencil. Likewise, an adult, faced with a business dilemma may suck at the pen when making out a memo. Contact with the mouth in tense moments, say the experts, provides comfort.

Gestures can be used to express openness, defensiveness, readiness, reassurance, confidence, nervousness, acceptance, expectancy, and suspicion, among other things.

If you observe people when they are engrossed in conversations, you will notice that each one has his or her own characteristic style. According to body language experts, an individual fits into one of four groups or ‘styles’ depending on his or her body language.

The four categories are:

Controlling style

Analytical style

Supporting style

Promoting style.

The Controlling style people are assertive, confident and direct, swift in speech and use little facial expression except strict eye contact. They sit with arms folded, and when standing, their arms are at their sides.

Analytical style people are very withdrawn, cold and loathe showing what they really feel. They sit stiffly with the body in a ‘closed’ position when in company.

Supporting style people are quiet and slightly withdrawn and, therefore, make good listeners. They sit in a relaxed and static position, often clasping hands in lap. They have little facial expression except for a comforting smile.

Promoting style people are assertive, but in a relaxed way. They are talkative and animated and, when sitting they usually lean back with legs crossed. Their facial expression is open, but steady eye contact is held.

The study of human behaviour increased in popularity when Desmond John Morris, the British zoologist, first revealed the results of his long research into body language with his bestseller Manwatching (1977). He had examined the involuntary body movements people make and analysed their meaning.

Body language is an interesting topic, and helps us to better understand one another. It can turn into a life-long hobby. For instance, whilst waiting for a flight at the airport or feeling rather bored at a party, amuse yourself by attempting to interpret those funny nods of the head, the flutter of hands and the wink and blink of eyes.

True, eyes speak volumes. During a conversation, if you are feeling bored, your eyes will give you away. Desmond Morris has identified four, unconscious visual cut-off signals which indicate withdrawal from a situation. He calls these the ‘Shifty Eye’, the ‘Stuttering Eye’, the ‘Evasive Eye’ and the ‘Stammering Eye’.

We may not say the words, but our eyes can convey the message. For instance, someone who closes his eyes during conversation is probably trying to remember something more clearly. You’ll find that sometimes when you can’t remember where you’ve left something, you cover your eyes with your hands.

Look at the gentleness in a mother’s eyes as she dotes on her young. Watch the blazing fire in a person’s eyes when they become enraged. When telling a lie, most people find it very difficult to look someone straight in the eye. They will look down, look away or glance at you briefly — if at all.

Another strong indicator of body language is posture. Posture conveys attitudes such as friendliness, hostility, superiority, and inferiority. How we sit is important. How are you sitting right now? Up straight? Or, simply slouching as you read? A posture with a forward lean shows interest, sideways lean shows casualness and relaxation and backward lean signals a wish to withdraw from what is going on around you. The next time you are in a crowd you might like to observe how lean is used to signal these various attitudes.

Head position, too, can be used to indicate attitudes, as in the ‘head held high’ position of someone who is rather haughty and aloof. Snooty and arrogant persons often have their nose up in the air.

Head movements have been seen to act as ‘marker’ in speech, punctuating, as it were, what is being said with small movements up, down or to one side. Tonight, when you switch on the television, watch the news and observe the newsreader’s head movements. You should be able to see a kind of ‘dance’ of the head taking place, with each movement occurring at a punctuation point in what is being said.

Next time you’re feeling suspicious about someone’s sincerity — watch the person’s hands, for there are various ways in which hands can point out the truth.

When we are talking normally, we tend to use hand signals to emphasise, underline and amplify the meaning of what we are saying. But when we are lying, these simple gestures are noticeably reduced in number — because the hands could, and sometimes do, contradict the lie. So people will thrust their hands into their pockets, clasp them firmly together, or clench them into a fist.

Another reason for keeping the hands under control is to prevent what has been called the ‘hand shrug’. In this gesture, the hands are rotated to expose the palms — which denotes helplessness. Tapping and drumming of the fingers may denote impatience. Do you bite your fingernails? Endeavour to break this bad habit. Besides looking ugly, it’s a sign of insecurity and nervousness.

Remember, a firm positive handshake produces the best results for it inspires confidence. During the day we often extend a hand to encourage and reassure one another, without any verbal communication.

Body language is universal, and forms the basic language we all use to communicate with each other. It can be subtle, blatant, cultural, or related to age or occupation.

Like it or not, our body language speaks louder than words. What really matters is what your body says. So be wary, for skeletons may remain in cupboards, but it’s your body that talks. It reveals much more than you think.