|
|
|
Super Sis
Dear Super Sis,
I'm 14 years old and have just had advanced to class IX. You may find my problem weird, but it's been for a year. I have a classmate who always has pessimistic feelings for everything. Some time back she used to pray for her death and so life took her very close to it but according to her a great man saved her and so she's thankful to him. (It's only me who knows this not even her parents.)
She thinks that joys are short-lived and so there is no need for happiness. She likes to remain this way but we know this is not right. I always try to help her out; and she feels better for a while but then it’s the same. Our school teachers also tried to convince her to just pay attention to her studies and not to worry about such things at this age, but to no avail. The problem is not about her need to get attention; believe me, everyone tries to be with her but her nature and demands are such that people turn their backs soon.
I myself sometimes feel uncomfortable but I'm the only hope for her right now. Please tell me how to handle this. (Remember, she belongs to a backward family so don't say to talk to her parents)
Purple Butterfly
PB, while it is wonderful of you to be concerned about your friend, if you know anything about school at all, you must know that there are always certain girls who will be inclined towards having darker moods; who ponder a little too much over stuff that messes with your head at this age; who throw a few too many tantrums than most others. You end up being so emotionally involved with them that you fail to realise how much they are adversely affecting you.
I'm sure she has shown kindness towards you at some stage, and I'm even surer that you have reciprocated that kindness doubly more by now. At this stage, however, you must look at yourself in isolation from her and think over whether you are better off with her or without her? Imagine this: suppose this girl never was your friend to begin with, and you were hanging around with other, more normal girls in class. Would you go out of your way to become her friend?
I'm not telling you to completely cut yourself off from her; but for your sake, reduce the intensity of your relationship with her a notch. She must be calling you countless times and talking about various sob-stories that you feel uncomfortable listening to and you can't do anything about it at all. Well, do lend her a listening ear and a comforting shoulder, but quit acting as her cling-pillow all the time. There are some people for whom we are just not in the right position to help out, and she is one of those.
If all the rest of your classmates have been moving away from her, there must be a reason they're doing so. I'm sure all of them are not snobs and they feel unsafe around her. Besides, don't forget that she doesn't exactly have a very favourable reputation among your teachers as well. What do you make out of that?
You should start looking around for better friends as well; and that too, without guilt. This friend of yours will only end up isolating you from the rest of the good people in your class. There is no relationship without give and take and this girl has just been selfishly consuming your peace of mind with irrational demands and claptrap. May be it's time you gave yourself a break.
Dear Super Sis,
I am 12 years old. I have reached class VIII and in one year we are shifting to Canada. So the problem is, I can't decide what should I do, O levels or simply Matric?
Worried Ash
Ash, relax. You’re not even going to be here for your ninth grade. You will be joining a Canadian school from next year so you will be following the Canadian secondary school system, which goes up to grades 11 or 12, depending upon which province you are in.
There are numerous private, independent and publicly funded secondary schools available in Canada, and you will have to keep your location in mind before you opt for a school there. For secondary schooling, students are usually accepted between the ages of 13 and 19 years, so it will be perfect for you because you’ll be 13 by the time you join.
Make sure, though, that you don’t leave any academic documents behind (i.e. here in Pakistan), and do get a letter of recommendation from your present school. Some schools require their students to take placement tests for Maths and/or English, while some require a TOEFL test and/or interviews. You will have to look into all these necessities before joining, and you still have a year left. Why don’t you start doing some ground work from now, so that you know what you’ll be up against? Here’s an excellent link about Canadian secondary school: http://www.studycanada.ca/english/canada_school_types.htm. Do check it out; it will put most of your concerns to rest. Cheers!
|
|
|
|
