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Super Sis
Dear Super Sis,
I am a 15-year-old boy. My problem that I have many male friends but no female friend. I don’t have the confidence to speak to girl. I want to make friendship with some girl in a positive sense. When a girl talks to me I get entirely confused and don’t know what to do. I unwillingly try to tell her off. I even tried to make friends on the Net but have failed. Please tell me what I should do. Moreover if you have email addresses of certain girls of my age I would request you to kindly give me so that I can try to make nice friendship with them. I don’t have even a sister to talk with neither a cousin. Please help me out of this problem.
Unlucky Piscean
I just don’t get it: WHY do boys think making friends with girls is the only goal in their lives? And why have you assumed that I’m running some sort of an email address log book here? When will you learn that befriending a girl is nothing out-of-the-world or something to feel elated about? It also doesn’t mean you should indulge in retarded monkey business to ‘impress’ her, because frankly, it doesn’t impress girls, just like it doesn’t impress guys. Girls are normal, sane creatures with certain delicate tendencies (like you can’t play wrestling with them or expect them to go beat up some kid you feel like bullying).
If you want to make friends with a girl, you need to be gentle, casual and approachable. (It also helps if you are clean, non-smelly and non-itchy.) Above all, you must not hound her or ask stupid questions like “will you be my friend?”, because that’s a TOTAL turn off. Specially, stereotypical statements like “I want to make friendship with you” are SO lame, but it seems to be you boys just don’t WANT to learn, argh!
The whole point of my screaming out-loud is: chill out and stop acting like a wannabe around girls all the time. Think about when you last made friends with a guy. What did you do? You stayed loose, did him little favours when he wanted any, hung around when he felt like having company and basically were a fun, down-to-earth person and a good listener with no attitude problem or selfish tendencies. Above all, you were yourself and your friend accepted you for who you are.
Well, Piscean, that’s pretty much how you make friends with a girl too … You need to be yourself. Don’t just walk up to any girl for the sake of talking to her; that’s precisely why you’ve been acting all confused around girls. It takes two to make a friendship, and you can’t force yourself upon anyone. You need to understand that just like each boy is different, every girl is a different person too; you need to appreciate each girl for who she is, and then approach girls whom you think are nice, non-scary and approachable. There must be a number of girls who share commonalities with you like say, reading a particular author’s books or being in a specific school sport. Well, you can talk safely on these common grounds, and it can lead to great conversations and fun times.
Be kind, gentle, respectful and non-rowdy. Above all, be yourself. Don’t pretend to be something you’re not because she’ll see right through it anyway! Most importantly, never sacrifice your personal dignity to win a girl’s friendship, because it really won’t work out. I most definitely will not give you or any girls’ email addresses, because that’s not the way we do things around here, but remember, it’s not the end of the world if you don’t have a lady friend at this stage. Things will sort themselves out as you grow older. Cheers!
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