You say you’re 18 and mature enough for a number of things. It’s about time you became mature enough to understand one more thing — trying to know your cousin’s feelings at this point and under your circumstances will be a foolish thing to do. I gather that she must be around your age or younger, so technically she is still a little girl.
Think in the broader perspective — if you do try to approach her, she will feel awkward, maybe even scared, and there is a good chance she just might tell her folks that you’ve been probing her for an answer. This will lead to a series of probable chain reactions. Let’s count them off our fingers: her mom will be upset, her dad will get mad. They will approach your folks and tell them that you are some sort of a sick-headed boy and their daughter is not safe around you. The eventual end? You will be forbidden to talk to her or even see her.
Although we can choose to be optimistic to an extent, let’s play it really safe. You say there is some sort of underlying hatred between your families. Trust me: such things are just waiting for a spark to burst into flames. So my man, be a wise guy and, for the time being, chill out. If you’re 18 and have seriously fallen for her, then look at your future. Enter a professional college, decide how and where you will be in the next couple of years and then approach your parents first. Tell them how you feel about the girl and see what is appropriate. From your letter, I take it you are not a revolutionary. If you trust your parents and they trust you, they will figure out the best way possible for a happy ending to your story. The next time you feel agitated, read this reply again, think rationally, concentrate on your career plans and don’t let your fears torment you. Good luck.
Dear Super Sis,
I am a boy. There is a student in my brother’s class who hates me. He is my brother’s friend and I don’t know why he keeps hitting and making fun of me. I don’t want to take this matter to anyone else like his parents. I just want to avoid him. Please help me.
ABC
It seems your brother’s friend is a real bully. But then again, what is your brother there for? Have you tried approaching your brother, if not anyone else, about this matter? Bullies have really low self-esteem, and they usually pick on people whom they know will not fight back. So chickening out here will provoke him further.
It is time you took a stand for yourself. So be a man and talk to your brother, if not his friend, to his face. Tell him you have serious issues with his friend, and that you are darned serious about this. Trust me — brothers might not be very helpful usually, but they always come to the rescue when siblings are in trouble. Your brother is sure to have a little tete-a-tete with this friend of his, and stop him from bullying you in the future.