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Super Sis
Dear super Sis,
I am a boy. There is a girl in our university, with whom I want to have true friendship. I have offered friendship many times, but she refuses. I don’t tease her nor I want to disturb her, despite that, she is adamant. Moreover, I feel upset when I see my other class fellows with their girlfriends. So, please help me and tell me what to do?
Confused Taurus
Well, it seems like you’re beating about the bush in vain. So let’s look at things objectively. If you want to be friends with a girl really bad, you gotta understand the girl’s psyche. You see, it’s rather ‘freaky’ if you walk up to a girl and ask her if you can be friends with her! No wonder she’s giving you a cold shoulder; who wouldn’t? And although you don’t have any harmful intents towards her at all, she doesn’t know that, does she?
The best way to deal with things is to take it slow. If she’s ignoring you, then let her be. Give her space and, above all, keep your distance. There is no need to get ‘clingy’ to a girl, just because you like her. Just be nice when ever possible, and try to help her out if she needs help. Once she realizes that you’re a decent guy who just wants to be friends, she’ll mellow down herself. Who knows, she might even approach you herself. And if she doesn’t, then it’s not the end of the world. Go look around for other nicer people.
As for your friends and their girlfriends — why in the world are YOU worried about them? They can take care of their own selves. So take a chill pill and don’t burn your grey cells over petty things too much. Peace out.
Dear Super Sis
I am a teenage boy. As we all know the environment that most teenagers are exposed to is not very good. I am really troubled about how to keep my mind focused on my religion and studies. So I seek advice and hope you might be able to help. Please help me, because I can’t stand it any more.
Lonely Troubled Khawar
You’re right: when you’re a teenager, you feel like there are so many things you need to pay attention to but can’t. Like any other regular guy, you might be having friends who like to party out but also go to school and have their individual religious inclinations. Religion is a sensitive issue, but what counts is striking a balance between your worldly affairs and your relationship with God.
As far as studies are concerned, you should try and work out a time which you solely dedicate to your studies. Keep it somewhere after your afternoon nap and favourite TV show so that your mind is fresh and up for some serious bit of studying. Of course, you should take frequent breaks to keep functioning properly.
If you want to focus more on religion, why don’t you seek out friends who also feel the same way? An interactive approach towards religion is one of the best ways to remove the cobwebs and have a clear focus. You guys could settle on a time to get together and discuss religious issues, maybe over lunch once a week or any other time. Consult authentic religious literature, your parents and your religious studies teacher to help you out with issues where you are confused. This will give you a greater insight and make your experience more interesting and rewarding. As with studies, you should schedule what time is suitable for you to hold interactive religious sessions with friends, and always balance out your time.
Always remember that your studies and social activities are also important and you don’t need to isolate yourself or adapt extremist views to achieve religious ‘nirvana’.
Best of luck!
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