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Co Who are better —boys or girls?
Of the many tricky and unanswerable questions in this world, the trickiest one perhaps would be the one I set out to answer! “Who are better boys or girls?”
Who better to ask but the people concerned — yup boys and girls themselves. With this in mind I gathered a group of boys and girls and put the question to them. The discussion had hardly begun that an accusation was hurled my way, “This discussion will never be a fair one, because you are a girl you will obviously think girls are better than us” — protested Adil. Soon their views began pouring in and they were at each other’s throats, short of pulling each others eyes out.
What was I to do, I needed to get an honest answer to this important question. It meant so much to the girls and boys gathered around me. So I decided that the best way to go about it was to ask them turn by turn. Seems fair enough! Instead of doing the usual thing, that was to let the ladies go first, we let the boys have their turn. Young gentlemen first!
Boys felt they were far superior to girls because they were brave and didn’t scream on seeing lizards or cockroaches nor did they cry when they saw touchy Indian movies. “See, the armed forces are full of brave men who protect our nation,” said Armaan. He also claimed that boys were stronger and not like girls who were skinny and delicate. “Men have built all the monuments and buildings there are in this world. Men can lift such heavy weights; imagine my sister lifting 400 pounds! If girls had to take part in sports and work as hard as boys do, they would faint and end up on the stretcher,” he proudly added.
Boys believed they made better persons as they busied themselves in sports instead of talking over the phone and gossiping mean things about their friends. They felt they were honest and not sly like the girls who could get away with anything by being sweet! Yasir swore that his sister did nothing but go yak yak yak while he helped his mother by running errands. “She talks only about clothes and make up, she is so vain. I wish I had a brother,” he lamented.
“Girls are so fussy they have hazaar nakhras. My cousin Naila won’t come out in the day as it would spoil her complexion. Have you ever heard about anything this ridiculous,” laughed Adil. Girls were also accused of having an attitude problem and acting over smart.
This was enough for the girls. Just then Nadia sniggered, “Boys stink so much they would need two buckets of deodorant to smell normal”. Well, we all laughed. I was guilty of laughing with the girls but I solemnly explained that there wasn’t any room for exaggerations. So they adopted a more serious tone. “Boys are mean and violent I have seen them bully kids and be cruel to animals,” said Sania. “We help out with the house work but these boys just hang out with their friends.” Armita pointed out. Boys were also accused of having only muscles and no brains. Girls felt boys were poor in their studies and always did untidy work at school while their work was appreciated by their teachers. They were more likely to be punished than the girls.
Girls found the boys ill mannered disobedient and boorish “They are always getting into fights, they shout and hit. We girls never shout like hooligans, you will never hear of a fight between two gangs of girls. We are much better than boys because we act civilized,” was Zehra’s wise observation.
Adil was squirming in his seat wanting to say something important. He pointed out, if girls were so civilized and so good at studies why did the boys always get better jobs, all the bosses were men! They were in powerful positions in every field. “If girls were truly better than us why were they secretaries and not the bosses.” Hmmm!
The girls began to think about this, “Simple,” said 17- year-old Shabana, “because we live in Pakistan, an Asian country, in most western countries there are women who are in top positions”. She was right our culture restricted women to certain roles, and offered only a limited nature of jobs. Shabana believed that despite the unequal treatment many women had succeeded in reaching the top. It wasn’t that girls were incapable, but they just weren’t allowed.
What was I to do, their arguments were very real and both had logically analyzed the virtues and flaws of their counterparts. I needed to find another viewpoint.
This search got me to their teachers who I felt would definitely be able to help me by giving their opinion. Their opinion was unanimous — they felt, both boys and girls make good students till middle school, until then their study habits were identical.
Mrs Khan said, “There are good boys and mischievous boys, studious girls and dreamy girls. However, on reaching high school girls were more committed and generally performed better, this was because boys were given more freedom and allowed to take part in more outdoor and extra curricular activities as compared to girls, specially in our culture”.
According to their opinion girls made better students on the whole. But it wouldn’t be fair to take academic performance as the criteria to decide who were better! The question wasn’t answered satisfactorily.
I had to keep looking.
The search for the answer took me to a group of people who knew the boys and girls like nobody else did. Yes, you guessed right — mums and dads.
When I put this question to parents most parents said it would be unfair to their children if they would name either.
Adil and Armita’s mum said she loved her son and daughter just as much and could never favour one over the other. She said Adil hated staying at home and spent more time with his friends than concentrating on his studies. Nevertheless his pranks were endearing and he would come up with jokes to cheer her up whenever she felt low. On the other hand Armita was an emotional support and a great help around the house.
Nadir and Armaan’s dad revealed that his boys were a handful. While Nadir was good at studies Armaan’s mischief gave him sleepless nights. The boys made him very angry at times, so I asked him if he would like to exchange his troublesome boys for two docile girls. He said he would think about it.
Mums and dads seemed to find no difference between their sons and daughters.
Boys and girls were equal in the eyes of their parents. They are also equal in the eyes of God although it seems He has planned special characteristics and roles for both of them. He made men strong so that they would be able to work hard and support their families; He gave women a loving nature to be able to nurture their children. But He doesn’t favour one over the other. Boys and girls, who would be the men and women of the future, were like the dual forces of Yin and Yang. They are interconnected and couldn’t truly exist without each other. Their distinct natures compliment each other and are equally important for each other.
Well, I can safely say I have found an answer, girls and boys were made equal and both are as good.
But if these detailed arguments still haven’t convinced you, then may be this simple one will. My cute 85-year-old grandma believes that girls and boys are like two halves of a laddoo, both halves are equally sweet. Ladka ladki ek jaisay meethien hote hain. How sweet!
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