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The family tree
People all over the world have families. There may be just a few members to several people living together depending on the customs and traditions of modern-day fast-paced living. It is our family that gives us a sense of belonging and support in times of need. Parents, siblings and grandparents are the closest family members and then come uncles, aunts and cousins. Knowing all your relatives is a great achievement in this day and age as some families have inter-marriages and their families extend to first, second and third cousins and their children. In the same way grandparents also have brothers and sisters and cousins as do our parents. So how does one keep track of all these people who are related to us either by choice or by chance?
The right way of keeping track and record of who is who in the family is by making a family tree. The important thing is to start from as far back as we can and the best way of doing that is by asking our parents and our grandparents about how far back they can remember the names and origins of their ancestors and relatives. Today, in the West it has become important for people to know their relatives and to trace back their genes and origins. Nowadays technology is applied to make family trees and connections, and many websites offer to help people search for their relatives through this technology. These websites ask people to provide as many details as possible and then match these details to a huge database of people across the country and abroad.
Even before technology helped in this regard, people in the West were interested in finding out who their relatives were. This is mainly due to the fast pace of life that people lead. Living independently or in some cases with just one or two relatives, people lose contact with their roots and are not sure of their origins. Another reason why sometimes people lose contact with their family is that their ancestors migrated from another land.
A man named Alex Hailey, an African American, went looking for his forefathers’ origins and succeeded in tracing his family back to two hundred years when his great great great grandfather had been brought as a slave from Africa to America. His book, Roots became a best seller and was also made into a very successful television series.
The best way that something like this can be achieved is by talking and meeting relatives and friends of one’s family, specially older members as they can relate stories and make the connections. To give a small example, one day as a child I was listening to some old story and wondering how my father had dark skin but grey-blue eyes even though both sets of grandparents hailed from India. His unusual features were a certain mystery. My mother smiled and told me that my father’s forefathers were from the Middle East. In fact, they were Bedouins who later came from Muscat to Gwader by ships for trade. His great grandfather on a visit to Bombay settled there and married a local lady, my great great grandmother. It was indeed an intriguing story and when I later asked my father, he confirmed it by making swinging actions with his arms in the air as if brandishing a sword and saying in a thunderous voice: “My forefathers roamed the burning sands of Arabia”, much to my excitement. (I now know why I love adventure and mystery.)
It was indeed a very interesting story as I thought that my grandparents had always lived in India before they eventually settled in Pakistan immediately after partition. If my elders had pursued, they may still have been able to trace back our ancestors to much earlier days when my great great grandparents were alive. Maybe to the time when the Holy Prophet (Peace be upon him) taught Islam in Saudi Arabia and converted the local tribes.
This is just one example of how one can talk to elders and find out more about one’s roots. Sometimes we lose touch with our relatives to such an extent that if we meet someone on the road or in a foreign land we may not know that he or she is, in fact, a relative! Someone I know went to a travel agent in another city and was attended by a person who recognized him from somewhere and told him that she was his cousin, much to his surprise!
There are many social workers and organizations that feel that in our quest for modernity we are losing links with our culture and origin. There are efforts, too, to save many ethnic languages around the world as people move away from families and tradition. Many languages have already become extinct as people moved away from their places of origin and stopped speaking in their native tongue.
Though progress is a good thing, too much of it is bad. We may one day find ourselves feeling lonely and lost, not knowing where we came from. Sometimes, keepsakes like jewellery, letters, works of art and even recipes are handed down from generation to generation to be cherished as a family heritage. We often come across these but are not always sure as to where mommy got the fantastic recipe from?
It is interesting to note that many families keep a record of their ancestors as part of a family tradition called ‘Shajra’. In the olden days, marriages were arranged according to this traditional family tree to ensure that the purity of the bloodline remained intact. This was all the more important in royal families and whenever a proposal was sent, it had to be made sure that the person in question was of ‘royal blood’. Though many may not agree with this kind of bias, yet it is good to keep a record of who’s who in the family tree.
Making a family tree is fun and is usually an interesting activity with the family. You can start by putting down the names of the relatives you know about and leave place to add more later. You can either use paper and pencil or be more hi-tech and do it on the computer. Drawing an actual tree with many branches and leaves is the best way that children can be taught to make a family tree. It can also make a great gift for someone who does not know much about the family. This gift is sure to take them by surprise.
Another good way to start is by taking out old family photographs and asking about the relatives in them, as it is not always easy for elders to remember each and every family member at random. This task will not only remind them of their relatives but will also turn the evening into a fun filled time of old family tales. For example, looking at old pictures, people might remember long forgotten incidents from their childhood.
As you come to know about other distant relations, you can add them as well. This will keep your family tree growing just like a real one.
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