February 1, 2003

Dear Diary,

Yesterday one more year was subtracted from my life — it was my birthday. It was yet another day when I stood all alone by the dinning table with a knife in my hand to cut a fresh cream cake and pose for a photo. This has become so usual and such a monotonous affair that I hardly feel any excitement when the end of January is around the corner. My only concern is to wear a new dress, make sure my camera is loaded and remind my father to bring a cake, not too small and not too big. And one more thing I care to do is to clean the dinning table, only the portion that would come into the photo; you know how clever, rather lazy, I am. This is what you will see in all my birthday photos — just me standing unaccompanied with a tilted head sporting a shy smile. All my birthday photographs look alike. The only thing that differentiates them is that I am dressed differently and in each snap I look a bit grown up and mature.

Though I am not the only child (I do have sisters and a brother), when I request my other family members to pose with me, they all disappear on the pretext that they are not dressed up well and do not want their shabby dressing to be recorded in history. But they are not so bad after all; they are decent enough to join the party, though empty handed (they never care to give me any present) to devour the cake and ridicule me for celebrating the big day with utmost austerity. “Next time arrange for some patties, drinks and try to make the party a little more lavish.” This is a typical remark I receive on the day.

I wish I had some friends living nearby whom I could invite to have some fun. I also feel so unlucky for not having cousins of my age group who would just drop in uninvited, without caring for any formal invitation. It would have been fun celebrating the occasion with them. They would have helped me realize that birthdays are not just about getting photographed all alone with a cake. Do you know what is the other reason for missing these non-existent friends and cousins? Well... I hardly get any birthday gift. My sisters and brother are so penny wise, frugal to even give me a paper clip. (Sometimes it is good to exaggerate). It is just my dear mother who gives me some money and that’s all. I hope all this makes me worthy of your sympathies.

Well, this is all I had to tell you about my one more monotonous birthday. I am really sorry for not penning so many other events that took place lately. The film of fine dust on your black cover indicated that you have been lying around unattended on my study table for too long. But now I have tidied you up and hope I will show the courtesy to acquaint you with the latest happenings of the year before I celebrate another of my boring birthdays next year, Inshallah.

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