May 08, 2008

The mother and child relationship is, without doubt, the most profound of all human relationships. No matter how eloquent a person may be, the bond between a mother and her child cannot be aptly put into words. Perhaps the person who most deeply realises the importance of a mother is the one who has lost her — and that too at a very young age. Following are some heartfelt comments from a few young people to whom destiny has dealt this cruellest of blows.

“Not having your mother means different things at different stages of life. I lost my mother as a young teenager. So to me it meant that I had to learn how to become a woman on my own. When a girl becomes a woman she has so many questions that need to be answered. Such as, what kind of clothes do I wear to a wedding? How do I wear a sari? What do I do when a guy is stalking me? Where do I buy clothes from? How do I cook? How do I bargain?

“Since I had no mother to answer my questions, I had to seek answers from my peers or other female role models. However, at every step of the way, I had to keep asking myself what would my mother have said or done. The struggle to answer that question can be very difficult at times.” — Fizzah

“A lot has happened in my life that I would have wanted to talk to mother about, but I couldn’t find her anywhere. This naturally brought sobriety in me, as I had to deal with things myself. My sisters were with me at every step of the way, but the void left by my mother was too big to be filled by them. Sometimes I really yearn for her, as I want to feel like a child and act like a child, to hide myself in her loving, caring embrace and say ‘I’m scared’.” — Beena

“If my mother was alive, I wouldn’t clearly have been the same person as I am today; compassionate, independent and self-reliant. Tragedy makes a better person out of anyone. It teaches one strength and maturity. If this tragedy had not happened to me, I would still have a lot to learn in life.” —Faiza

“If a child loses his/her mother/father during childhood, s/he may perhaps not realise the intensity of the painful void that s/he is going to face later in life. I am not held back by that loss. Sadness and loss is surely a vital part of human experience that teaches us the value of people and relationships.

“My mother died when I was only four, I didn’t know what had happened and where she had gone. But as I grew older I found something lacking in my life, something that others had but not I. This is when I became conscious of the loving, caring relation that I did not have.” — Amna

“Living life without a mother is like living without a sunshade — it feels like I am standing right under the scorching heat of life with no protection at all. If my mother was still here, my life would have had more of everything -- from responsibility to care and from happiness to success.” — Hasan

“The female, the mother, the wife, brings the element of empathy into the household. Without a mother the members of a family can become ruthless and can lack the sensitivity that the love and care of a mother instils in a human being.” — Huma

                                                                      The names have been changed at request