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October 05, 2006
What’s on…
FILM
The Omen is a remake of Richard Donner’s creepy, genuinely frightening 1976 original that warned of the coming of the anti-Christ and the apocalypse. Since the first one still holds up today and, other than inspiring three direct sequels, influenced a host of similar films that followed in its wake, there was no real need to update it.
Except that some marketing genius at 20th Century Fox probably hit on the idea that since the date 06-06-06 was coming up (the number 666 – the sign of the devil ––– had major significance in the first movie) it would be just great if the studio was able to premier a new version on that date and clean up at the box-office.
Well, the movie did premiere on 06-06-06 but things didn’t go quite according to plan. Mainly because the 2006 version is a crashing bore even though (or perhaps because) it is a virtual scene by scene remake of the original (David Seltzer wrote both versions).
The life seems to have been sucked out of it with some very uninspired direction by John Moore. Liv Schreiber and Julia Stiles essay the Gregory Peck and Lee Remick roles from the original while the rest of the cast is filled out by the likes of Pete Postlethwaite, David Thewlis and Michael Gambon but most of the performances are either flat or over-cooked. Only Mia Farrow’s chilly turn as the demon-child Damien’s nanny stirs any interest along with some giggles ––– after all Farrow (Rosemary’s Baby) is no stranger to diabolical progeny. Extremely inferior to the original in every possible way.—Khusro Mumtaz
OR
Aishwariya Rai hasn’t looked this good on film in a long time and her acting isn’t as irritating as usual either (though the same can’t be said of her listless voice-overs). But those are just about the only positive things you can say about The Mistress Of Spices, a good-looking but lifeless adaptation of Chitra Banerjee Divakaruni’s 1997 novel. Directed by Gurinder Chadha’s (Bend It Like Beckham) writing partner and husband Paul Mayeda Berges, the movie is in the vein of Chocolat, as a woman arrives in a community (in this case, San Fransisco) and uses her mystical powers to help her troubled customers and neighbours, many belonging to the Indian expatriate community of Frisco. Difficulties arise when Tilo’s (Rai) own passions are aroused after she meets motorcycle-riding Doug (Dylan McDermott) but indulging her ardour is forbidden to her or she risks losing her magical abilities.
This magic realist take on the immigrant experience never really takes off because the passion between Doug and Tilo is never believable. Neither do the various customers that visit Tilo’s shop ever develop into anything more than stereotypes ––– everybody’s painted with very broad strokes. The script never really rises to being anything more than an after-school television special and Berges’ direction can best be described as plodding. The movie’s not terrible but it can’t really be recommended either ––– unless you are a die-hard Ash fan. For those interested, the rest of the cast includes Anupam Kher, 93-year-old veteran Zohra Segal and Padma Laxmi (Mrs Salman Rushdie).—K.M.
SINGLE
Keith Urban was a Country Star before he married Oscar winner Nicole Kidman, but he was unknown to the rest of the music industry and to the world outside small-town middle America. Well, love seems to agree with this cowboy as evidenced by his new single, the ultra-sweet ballad Once in a Lifetime.
I Kidman you not. This boy’s hit mainstream and this single is pure pop at its best and most romantic. Pretty boy sings, Don’t fear it now/we’re going all the way/…it’s a leap of faith/but we’re never giving up/Cuz I know we’ve got a once in a lifetime love.
It’s a whole different sound for Mr Country with its sharp guitar, emotion-filled vocals and catchy melody. The lead single, off his upcoming November album, Once in a Lifetime will surely be a wedding favourite this year and a career strengthener for its artist.
Christina Aguilera is praising her hubby in Ain’t No Other Man and now Urban is telling Kidman their love is “once in a lifetime.” These starlets are so confident and convincing one could almost believe Hollywood romances are the forever kind ...— T. U. Dawood
ALBUM
The King of Parody is back! “Weird Al” Yankovic has just released his 12th studio album Straight Outta Lynwood and his lyrics are as sharp as ever but his harmonies and choice of songs a disappointment. Thus, his wit is in top-form most of the time but the melodies aren’t always.
Featuring takes on songs by American Idol Taylor Hicks, Green Day, R. Kelly and Usher, among others, the CD was actually delayed because the original lead single was supposed to be You’re Pitiful, a play on James Blunt’s You’re Beautiful, but at the last minute Blunt’s record label nixed their permission and the track was removed from the CD. Pity, the early buzz on You’re Pitiful was very positive.
In its place, Don’t Download This Song is the first release and in keeping with its ‘tongue-in-cheek’ commentary on illegal music downloading and piracy, the track is available for free download on Yankovic’s MySpace page www.myspace.com/weirdal. Although it is meant to be in the style of the `80s celebrity charity songs such as We Are The World and Do They Know It’s Christmas?, the single fails to deliver on its promise.
Similarily, the artist’s take on Green Day’s American Idiot is a very clichéd Canadian Idiot and his requisite polka track Polkarama! highlights the lack of depth in some otherwise great songs by Kanye West, 50 Cent, Franz Ferdinand and Black Eyed Peas. If you ever wondered, lyrics to the Candy Shop lose their sweetness ––– and sex appeal ––– when set to polka.
If the disc had been put to bed just a few weeks later, it would have included a parody of Justin Timberlake’s fresh hit SexyBack, ideal Weird Al fodder. Pity! Now, that would likely have put Yankovic back on the map! — T. U. D
Dawn, The Review, Haroon House,
Dr Ziauddin Ahmed Road, Karachi.
E-mail: the-review@dawn.com
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