February 16, 2006

Even though more than half of the country’s population might not be able to decipher Valentine Day’s code, a small part of the society is ready to take on the ideological challenge for a little fun and frolic

After the spring festival of Basant, Valentine’s Day has become the second most controversial carnival. The recently held marathon in Lahore is fast becoming an equally contentious event, but has yet to reach the mature level of debate sparked by the fifth century tribute paid by couples in love to St Valentine, a Catholic bishop.

Each year the seemingly innocuous day of February 14 takes centre-stage in discussions amongst various levels of informed and rabid citizens. Valentine’s Day, commemorated worldwide for symbolizing love and romance, is considered in Pakistan as an antithesis to the reverent Objectives Resolution. The whole question of self-identity and sovereignty of the nation-state seems to be threatened by an exchange of romantic mementoes between a man and a woman.

“It is against the very essence of Islam to encourage and celebrate such an occasion which observes the falling in love of a bishop with a woman. That’s offensive! How can we even think of giving it fervour? The media should discourage such immoral behaviour instead of writing and immortalizing it,” said a more than adequately covered female student at the Punjab University in Lahore.

Leading the anti-Valentine’s Day group to ensure the country’s cultural and moral identity, the female student at the Punjab University has decided to start a campaign to put the day’s history into proper historical context. Challenging the various romantic stories associated with St. Valentine, she claims that in the 11th century AD, February 14 was celebrated to rejoice the victory of crusades over Muslims.

“It was not about exchanging gifts between lovers nor was it about St. Valentine’s love for a woman. The day was set aside to rejoice the killing of Muslims by Christians,” asserted the student.

Her three other friends gave an untainted nod of consensus. “We are going to meet the authorities, the officials, anyone who is concerned about the morals of this country to discourage and forbid the sale and print of vulgar cards with hearts and Cupid’s arrow. This is not our culture! An acceptance and celebration of this day means we are with those who fought against the Muslim warriors in the crusades,” said one of the friends.

Put in such a strong religious context, not requiring the validation of history which in any case is too fluid as far as Valentine’s Day is concerned, it is doubtful the authorities are going to be partial. Despite threats to the ideological basis of this country, Valentine’s Day has stealthily crept into the romantic imagination of teenagers and youth fed on western sitcoms with an easy access to the Internet and cable TV.

Even though more than half of the country’s population might not be able to decipher Valentine Day’s code, a small part of the society is ready to take on the ideological challenge for a little fun and frolic. “Why should we always translate everything into Islam and ideology? Why are we so insecure about ourselves? Do you think that by celebrating a day originating in the West we’ll become renegades?” asks a young lawyer heading his own law firm.

Becoming anti-religious or reneging on Islam might be too broad-based a criticism on Valentine’s Day. The real criticism is the culture of accepting the openness of pre-marital relationship between a man and a woman. As one of the faculty members of a local law college suggests, it is not about dismissing love but the approach which makes it a problem.

“School-going children talk openly about girlfriends and boyfriends. I don’t want my daughter to be raised in a society where the openness ends outside the walls of her school. There should either be a blanket acceptance of male and female relationship or total negation of the celebration bred and accepted in the West. It is things like these which confuse our children,” states the law college faculty member.

A few weeks ago one of the local colleges was involved in a serious issue when the parents and brothers of some female students met with the principal to object to the sending of flowers and chocolates to girls by fellow male students.

Confirming reports of a serious on-campus clash between some of the girls’ brothers and the male senders of Valentine’s gifts, one of the professors said that the college was about to call the police when the college security guards could not control the scuffle.

Whether we are ready for it or not, sales of cards bearing Valentine ‘s Day symbol are skyrocketing. One of the stationary shop owners at the Main Market in Gulberg says that school-going children aged 12 to 18 are his regular Valentine’s Day card buyers. And as for the flowers, the custom has not yet blossomed perhaps because the price also becomes steeper than regular days.

Whatever the status of this nation-state is, there will always be a few commandeering it towards confusion to open the identity crisis debate. “We just can’t enjoy and have to politicize everything,” says the young lawyer who has ordered a huge bouquet to be delivered to his girlfriend in Islamabad.

Valentine’s Day, with its multiple historical versions, is celebrated in Lahore with the single minded spirit of keeping the society resilient. An apparent show of romance might not be a visible part of this severely segregated society, but its idea cannot be dismissed as a western import. Romance is an integral part of every culture and society, western, eastern or Islamic. In the West commemoration of romance is known as Valentine’s Day, If we want to guard our identity we can perhaps try to change the day’s name, but the spirit is not likely to be subdued.

 

From the other side of the fence

“Mai albeli, ghoomu akeli, koi paheli hoon mai,” I hummed to myself as I stepped into the dimmed hall that my friend had decorated for her Valentine’s Day party — an annual feature in her social circle. Hugging her, my eyes swept around, taking in the heart-shaped balloons suspended in the air, the glow of dimmed light just outlining their silhouettes. ‘Urgh! What is with this red on Valentine,’ I mused inwardly. My friend obviously wanted me to praise this hideous display, but before I could give a weak smile of affirmation, I felt someone throttle me in a tight hug, and then a high-pitched, “Haye, where have you been, jaanu?” pierced my ears. Turning around, I was facing the worst of my nightmares. ‘Auntie matchmaker,’ is what I call her. I must have lost count of all the times she tried to fix me with someone ‘eligible,’ as she liked to call them. I shot daggers at my friend. Did she have to invite her as well? She shrugged, as if to say, “Does anyone ever invite her?” As quickly as possible, I disengaged myself from AM, murmuring something about wanting a drink, and almost ran in the opposite direction, promptly colliding with a young man wearing a black suit and a dazzling smile. “May I have the pleasure of bringing you something to eat or drink,” he said in a tone that suggested that he had spent the entire night rote learning, this one line. As politely as possible, I declined his offer, and once again took off in another direction. “Hey dude, over here,” I heard a familiar voice. Whew! There stood my best friend waving at me. I quickly steered my way towards her and smiled in relief as she handed me a glass of orange juice. “So, how’s it been so far?” I asked her. Before I knew it, she had already begun her tirade on how her hubby wouldn’t buy her this set of earrings she had fallen in love with; how his business meetings had become more important than taking her shopping and how he never noticed that she was wearing a new sari today. Sheesh! I had forgotten she recently got married. Looking at the people on the other side of the fence, I said an inward prayer on my solitary status. At least I still had the liberty to go out with anyone I wanted, and wear what I wanted without having to seek approval from ‘that special someone’. So nodding my head automatically at her tirade, I scanned the crowd, as couples made their way to the dance floor. My friend seemed to have realised this as well, because she suddenly stopped talking and began tugging at my sleeve. “Chal, let’s dance, who have you come with?” I gave her a surprised look. When was the last time I came with anyone? “Hawwww! You mean, you don’t have a dance partner?” she looked scandalised. I knew what was coming next, something about finally settling down and reserving my entire life for my mijaazi khuda. Since I get to hear enough on the subject from my family, neighbours, and Auntie matchmaker, I quickly cut her off. “But married life is wonderful,” she cried, her eyes round in amazement. “Right, and it seems even more amazing after listening to your sweet little speech a few minutes ago.” That stopped her. I smiled sweetly and quietly moved out of the hall, breathing in God’s fresh air. Smiling contentedly I hummed, “Pagli hawaain mujhay jahan bhi lejyen, in hawaaon ki saheli hoon mai…” — S.Reza

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