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September 15, 2005
Love thy neighbour
The undeniable fact is that your next-door neighbour is not only a person, he is a part of your environment. He is present in the noise of a piano, the scream of a child, the absence of your morning newspaper, the banging on the wall and, most certainly, the dispute on the fence between your lawns, writes Muhammad Muti-ur-Rehman Mumtaz
The three-worded order is candid-clear and hard to be mistaken — “Love thy neighbour” — but it is the compliance, which is complicated and rather tricky.
Imagine a romantic weekend evening. You are about to have an almost out-of-this-world candle-light dinner. Your spouse is attired beautifully and the venue is your serene and tranquil lawn. Luckily enough, it happens to be a moonlit night. You have arranged for some soothing music to play in the background. The coast seems clear for you to spend some quality time after a hectic week of work.
As you settle down with your spouse and gaze romantically into her eyes, you hear a piercing shriek — and all hell breaks loose. Before you know it, your next-door neighbour’s teenage son turns on his disastrous ‘heavy metal’ music to full volume. The ‘light metal’ at your table, spoons, forks, dishes and what not, start banging. Having lost your mettle, you feel like banging your head against your neighbour’s wall. Your party has been ruined by the neighbour once more. The scary bit is the thought that this is not the last time it has happened.
You try to control the volcanic rage that almost erupts out of you, when you witness your nice-guy-next-door’s so-called ‘potty-trained’ dog raising one of his hind legs and expertly directing the shower of his pee on the finest rose plants in your garden. Trembling and fuming you walk over to the dog’s owner and complain. The guy, without looking up from his morning paper, tries to make you understand how a dog’s pee can enhance the growth rate of the roses, and why the heck was your garden gate open anyway. Talk about loving your neighbours!
Every religion stresses loving neighbours. Islam almost awarded them a share in the inheritance. The Bible tells you to love your neighbours and also to love your enemies, probably because generally they are the same people.
These are the occasional snapshots of the spine-tingling horror movie i.e. living next door to a bad neighbour. Darker and more horrifying is the real thing. Only those who have experienced watching the whole movie can fathom the intensity and depth of its various twists and turns.
The undeniable fact is that your next-door neighbour is not only a person, he is part of your environment. He is present in the noise of a piano, the scream of a child, the absence of your morning newspaper, the banging on the wall and most certainly, the dispute on the fence between your lawns. He is in your drains that are worse than his and the roses that are better than yours.
If he is bad, he would prove to be a constant source of pain-in-the-neck. You will never be able to avoid him (unless you sell your house and move to another neighborhood where you may find an even worse neighbour).
Handling a bad neighbour is a delicate art in itself. The catch-word is ‘Match’. Match him in his wickedness. Match him in his malice. Better still; supersede him in some of these traits. If his dog pee's on your rose plants, train your dog to pee on his sofa. If he wants to use your lawn-mower, let him use it provided he doesn’t take it out of your lawn. Do whatever you have to do; just match him word to word, deed to deed. He would either become good or leave the town. You will be better off both ways.
The picture, however, does not spell gloom all around. Good humans still exist, though it is hard to find them in your neighbourhood. You need a couple of tons of luck and you may become the proud owner of a good neighbour. If you’ve found one, be sure of receiving a healthy part of every dish that is cooked in his kitchen, be it the mouth-watering pizza or delicious rasmalai.
On a slightly different note, “Loving thy neighbour” becomes a whole lot of fun if you are young and passionate and fortunate enough to have a neighbour who happens to be a ravishing beauty with killer eyes, silky hair, voluptuous lips, an ‘oh-so-feminin’ jaw-line, high cheek-bone, slightly-raised nose and a complexion envy of a pink rose (pardon me for an uninvited description of my fantasies).
All said and done, the advent of newer pastimes and sophisticated leisurely stuff like television and the Internet have started fading the concept of neighbourhood into oblivion. The bigger the city, they say, the scarier is the loneliness. People find themselves choosing from watching a movie, chatting on the Internet or standing over the fence to gossip with their neighbour. Most frequently, the first two options are preferred over the last one.
People spend decades living next-door and don’t know each other. Machines have certainly started slaughtering emotions. With the current pace of isolation, the day is not far when every home would be a lonesome island, fenced around by scary-looking gadgets and segregated from the rest of the world with fortifications of rigid behaviours. Before that day arrives, thou better start loving thy neighbour, one way or the other.
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