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July 28, 2005
Oh, these weddings
Our society has converted a simple practice of uniting two people in wedlock into a complex process that can easily give a nervous breakdown to anyone remotely involved in organizing the event , writes Amna Kaleem
What is the first thing that flashes in your mind when you hear the word wedding? Free biryani is the first thing that tickles my senses. For the past six months, I have made the most of every opportunity that has come my way to hog free biryani at friend’s, neighbours’ or relatives’ weddings.However, there is a whole lot more to the monstrosity referred to, more politely, as weddings, in general, and Pakistani weddings, in particular. From the wedding dress to the right kind of shamiyana (tent), even the minutest detail requires undivided attention.
Hats off to our society, which has managed to convert a simple practice of uniting two people in wedlock into a complex situation that can easily give a nervous breakdown to anyone remotely involved in organizing the event.
It all starts with the right jora (wedding dress) for the bride. The would-be bride along with the entire female clan starts scanning the famous and not-so-famous outlets of the city, months before the event. Every member of the task force takes it to be their solemn duty to advise the girl on how to pick the right colour, with the right fit, and the embroidery to match.
They have to make sure that the girl does not look too fat or too thin, too dark or too pale in the jora. Gone are the days when good old granny would pull out a steel trunk from her storeroom and hand over the jora that she had started working on since the day the bride-designate was born.
Once the jora is finalized, with the consent of the bride’s mother, aunts, neighbours, friends and the in-laws, of course, the next stop is jewellery. Needless to say, the task force plays a vital role in the selection process once again making sure that enough is bought to decorate the bride like a Christmas tree.
The groom also has his day, with the emergence of a million outlets for men’s clothes offering similar stuff. Not staying behind his future wife, in any respect, he gets himself booked for a facial for the big day, while his lady love gets an appointment with the beautician who would enhance her natural beauty on her wedding day by painting her face with layers of foundation.
While the female team works on the jora, jewellery, and the truckload of clothes that is to be given as a token of love to the bride; the male team (mostly father, brothers or cousins), deals with the venue, invitation cards, food, and other details.
It is important that the venue has enough parking space for all the guests, the invitation cards have the right colour and print, all the relatives have their names and phone numbers in the R.S.V.P. The quality of meat being used for biryani is also checked, for it would be rather disgraceful to send guests (like me) home with food poisoning.
To ease the workload of the organizers, a number of wedding planners are offering their services, albeit, for a pretty hefty sum, so if the families of the bride or groom do not want to strain their backs they can simply strain their wallets and hire one of the wedding planners.
After months of preparations, comes D-day. The poor bride with a truckload of ornaments heaped on her walks down the aisle under the scrutiny of the hair-make-up-and-jewellery inspection squad, who shower the poor creature with comments on her make-up and dress rather than rose petals.
Once she is safely seated on the stage, yet another test of patience begins for her and the groom. Not only are these two people who should be enjoying this day the most, starved, they are also made to watch their near and dear ones devour food.
After satisfying their tastebuds, the guests approach the stage to get their pictures taken with the couple. No matter how remotely they are linked to the bride or the groom they deem it mandatory to hop on the stage and flash their million dollar grin for the camera.
Once every single person present at the scene has had his share of the limelight, and after the cameramen have captured the bride and the groom from every angle, possible, the ceremony moves towards the emotional part where the parents of the blushing (read fainting) bride give her away.
Again every guest, no matter how little they know the bride or how much they dislike her, shed a tear or two, some overdo it to the extent that you mistake the ceremony for a funeral. The bride also feels obliged to bring out some tears of joy.
All shed and done, the couple along with the entire motley crew heads to yet another destination where all kinds of rituals and practices are carried on in the name of tradition. From testing the bride’s culinary skills to her ability to fish out stuff from a bowl full of milk, the in-laws do everything in their power to exhaust her.
And with all the rituals and traditions carried out, this fateful day comes to an end, only to start what can be termed as a ‘big fat Pakistani married life’.
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