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July 21, 2005
Every day is like Sunday
“Sunday morning rain is falling and I`m calling out to you
Singing someday it`ll bring me back to you”
(Maroon 5, “Sunday Morning,” Songs about Jane)
The week begins slowly, dolefully – Monday morning and all. You drag yourself out of bed and get dressed for work rather unwillingly, while the smell of freshly brewing tea wafts from the kitchen, tickling your senses. It rouses you from your stupor that screams of “Monday morning blues.”As you “gear up” to head to work, armed with a thermal mug, brimming with caffeine in all its glory, you can’t help but fantasize about the forthcoming weekend. Of course, you have nothing special planned, but for most nine-to-fivers, weekends mean no work, which in turn means catching up on your sleep, shopping or just lazing around at home –– thank God for Sundays!
There is something about Sundays –— teenagers love them, while corporate yuppie types and housewives can’t get enough of them. We all want to kick back and relax on Sundays because, well, that’s what they are for, right? At least, that is what Sundays used to be all about, anyway. The only time off from the rigours of life, Sundays were about having breakfast with one’s family, eating biryani for lunch, going to Sea View or Fun Land in the evening and meeting with relatives at night.
Over the years, however, the day’s special significance seems to have waned – from unwinding and spending time with family or close friends to indulging in isolated, stress-ridden activities (shopping, for instance), Sundays are pretty much like any other day of the week now.
“Whether it’s Sunday or Monday, it makes no difference to me,” says Babar, a banker by profession, who lives by himself in an apartment in PECHS. “Since it’s my only day off, I end up doing chores that I normally don’t have time to do during the week.” Babar’s family is in Peshawar, but the quest for professional success led him to the fast-paced, adrenalin driven city of Karachi.
“I really miss spending time with my family. When I was with them, Sunday actually felt like a holiday. My Mom would cook our favourite food, and in the afternoon all of us would gather around to watch TV,” he reminisces, adding that now he is either cleaning his house or haggling with the landlord over water and a much-needed paint job for his apartment. He is also given to grocery shopping or putting in extra hours at work on Sundays: “I really don’t have much to look forward to on Sundays.”
Of course, those who have the luxury of living with their parents, spend their Sundays all-too-differently. Khurram Syed, a producer at a post-production house, finds much comfort in sleeping for the better part of the day on Sunday: “I try to sleep as much as I can and keep myself away from family-related issues.”
He prefers to keep a low-profile on Sundays, explaining that a lot of this has to do with the 180-degree turn that life in Karachi seems to have taken: “Some five years back, Sundays were amazing. People were more compassionate back then and had more time for one another. Now, everyone’s out to fulfill his/her selfish motives so it’s better to stay away from such people.”Indeed, it is a ‘dog eat dog’ world out here and not surprisingly a lot of people, like Khurram, prefer to spend their weekend alone instead of putting up with the likes of their estranged, embittered extended family or acquaintances. Most Karachiites lead a lifestyle fraught with stress and subsequently, their patience has ebbed. So, they would rather deal with their solitude and not their insidious relatives, or equally troublesome siblings.
In fact, sleeping appears to be the most popular activity among all those stuck in the corporate rut, yearning for a less frenetic life. The reasons for doing so are many, one of which is the need to loosen up for one day at least –– sometimes, a good night’s sleep is simply not enough to replenish an exhausted mind and body.
“Sometimes, afternoon naps and waking up late is just what you need to feel rejuvenated. That is why I mostly spend my Sundays sleeping,” explains Huma, a content writer for an e-solution firm, pointing out that she can think of no better way to spend her only day off.
Others, however, have much to do on Sundays and try to make the most of it. For instance, quite a few housewives have their entire day planned out, most of which is spent trying to coax their husbands to take them grocery shopping or a family lunch. “Grocery shops are so crowded these days that I forget to buy half the things I am supposed to,” is Ayesha’s excuse for dragging her husband to the super market on a lazy Sunday afternoon.“My husband helps me out a great deal when it comes to grocery shopping. Besides, he can pay for a few extra expenses here and there, which means I end up saving more than I normally would,” she adds with a twinkle in her eye.
There are people who don’t shop till they drop on Sundays. Their Sundays revolve around their families – children to be more precise. In several middle and upper-middle class households, both parents are usually working somewhere and so don’t get to spend much time with their children. Thus, they are committed to spending Sundays with them, even if it is to help them with their homework and various school projects.
In fact, many working parents leave for work in the wee hours of the morning to avoid getting caught in rush-hour traffic and don’t return till late evening, which means they inadvertently end up neglecting their children. “I work in a software company and my wife, Fariha, works in a publishing house,” says Nasir, a middle-aged programmer. Their work timings are rather erratic and their two children, who are on the verge of becoming teenagers, are often left at the mercy of the nanny.
So, the couple makes it a point to keep their Sundays “free,” to make up for the lost time. “It’s not a perfect arrangement and it is actually very hard to maintain a balance between our social life and the children, but it can’t be helped.” On Sundays, Nasir and Fariha are busy either dropping their children off to concerts and Sunday brunches or accompanying them to the mall.
However, the couple longs to do something for themselves on Sunday: “Life has become so crazy. I can’t remember the last time I spent a Sunday pampering myself or watching movies or reading. I really miss that. Why can’t Sunday be a forty-eight hour day?” is Fariha’s wistful response.While parents like Fariha and Nasir struggle to spend more time with their children, the latter don’t necessarily feel the same way. For pre-teens and teens, Sundays are just another excuse to “chill” with their friends – at lunches, concerts, bowling alleys or the movies. Intent on maintaining a social life that excludes their family, particularly parents, they feel stifled by the undue attention paid to them on Sundays.
“I am busy all week long with my studies and tuitions,” complains Umar, who will sit for his matriculation exams next year. “So on Sundays, I want to hang out with friends and do things with them, that I don’t get time to do during the week.” Umar is exasperated by his parents’ efforts to ruin his plans — they always try to take him to meet relatives or just want to sit and talk to him about his week.
“All this was fine when I was younger, but now I am older and I want to be with my friends over the weekend.” There are many children like Umar who want nothing more than to be in the company of their friends on Sundays. If, for some reason, they are unable to do that, then one can often find them sprawled in front of the television, channel surfing or indulging in a marathon movie-watching session.
Now, as cliched as this sounds, Sundays are simply not what they used to be. Regardless of the age group, our Sunday lifestyles have clearly been transformed. Caught in a vicious little cycle of demanding pastimes, most of us are not keen to socialize or entertain relatives on the one day that promises respite from the worries of daily life.
Sundays are reserved for chores that are left untouched throughout the week, for the other things that one does not have time for otherwise and shopping expeditions that simply cannot be fitted in during weekdays.
It’s just not possible to take a breather from our hectic, urbanite lives that threaten to consume us with its skyrocketing pace. Obviously, something has to give – in this case, it’s leisurely activities and time spent with people one cares about. Priorities have definitely changed. Some say it is for the better, while others insist it’s for the worse.
Once, Sundays used to be laid-back — a day of quiet introspection. Now, they are just another excuse for religiously performing one’s credit card “duties.” In 1966, the Velvet Underground sang, “Sunday morning, praise the dawning, It’s just a restless feeling by my side.” Most of us may not have heard this song, but the sentiment continues to be eerily familiar.
Children and Sundays
“Chuttis are all about children,” says Kamal, the father of expatriate children, all of whom are settled in the United States. “When they are not around, then what difference does it make, whether it’s a Sunday or a Monday?” He asks, with a twinge of sadness creeping into his voice.
With two sons leading comfortable, contented lives with their families in the US, Kamal (a retired army officer) and his wife Shazia find themselves all the more lonely on Sundays.
“When my children were here, we would go out a lot over the weekend or throw dinner parties. The house felt so alive,” is Saadia’s sad recollection of happy Sundays spent in the company of their children. Now, they feel there’s no point in entertaining, for “what good is life without one’s children.”
Throughout the week, Saadia and Kamal find excuses to stay busy so that they don’t give much thought to the empty nest syndrome. Come Sunday and the stark realization that they are so far away from their offspring hits them with full force. They spend hours at the computer, voice chatting with their sons and their families – the one thing that they actually look forward to doing on Sundays.
“It’s not the same thing but at least we get to hear their voices. At least the house is full of their sounds, even if its temporary.” So, for couples like Kamal and Saadia, Sundays are unavoidably depressing –– a day when every second seems never-ending and life seems to have come to a standstill. “It’s hard not having your children and grandchildren around. Sometimes, I wish I could turn back the time to when they were younger. ” Still, she and her husband try to make the most of their Sundays by keeping in touch with their family. — S.W.P
Shopping on the weekend
Given the increasing preference for shopping on Sundays, quite a few shops remain open over the weekend. While shopkeepers would rather spend time with their families, many of them feel that business is really good on Sundays, which is why they choose to keep their shops open on this day. Previously, one would find that only grocery shops and supermarkets were open to customers on Sundays, but now, many shopping malls have also followed suit.
“Many families and couples come on Sundays to buy things from us,” says a sales person at a clothing outlet at a shopping mall. “Sales are definitely higher on Sundays.”
Shopping is not the only activity that one can indulge in at these malls. Every weekend boasts of some event – from lucky draws to exhibitions to mini-fashion shows. “The idea is to enhance the shopping experience,” points out a store manager at another mall. “There is a limit to the amount of shopping one can do. So these activities are included so that customers have something else to look forward to besides shopping.”
Consider, for instance, a “VJ hunt” being conducted by a popular satellite music channel. The channel representatives decide to set up “camp” at one of the shopping malls in the city, and then announce the venue on TV, just a few days before the actual VJ hunt is set to take place. Some shopkeepers claim this attracts a large crowd and as a result, sales inadvertently increase. Others feel this distracts potential customers as they get too caught up in the activity that is taking place. Whatever the reason, the fact of the matter is that people do visit shopping malls on Sundays and shopkeepers have no choice but to keep their shops open in a bid to attract more customers. — S.W.P
Looking forward to the day
For Nazish Jaffery, 24, Sundays have acquired a whole new meaning. Newly engaged and blissfully happy, Nazish spends her Sundays with her fiancé and his family. “I have been spending quite a few Sundays with my in-laws,” she remarks happily. A copy-writer at an advertising agency, Nazish draws much comfort from the day, either having lunch with her future in-laws or purchasing a thing or two from the famed Itwar bazaar in Defence. Occasionally, Nazish is required to be at work on Sundays, which ruins her weekend.
“Since I wasn’t engaged five years ago, and was still a student, I was sometimes forced to go to college to work on my projects,” she says explaining that for her Sundays are certainly a lot better now.
However, unlike most people, Nazish does not prefer to stay at home on her day off. Her gregarious nature has a lot to do with it: “Actually I am so used to being out every day that I really don’t mind being out on Sundays. This is why I don’t mind going to Itwar bazaar as long as it does not take up more than two to three hours of my time.”
Nazish feels she would rather do something useful with her spare time, instead of procrastinating, though she also enjoys being a couch potato over the weekend: “I watch a lot of TV on Sundays but I also make use of my time,” she clarifies.
Interestingly enough, the need to do something constructive on Sundays is hardly common among other people her age, which is probably what sets her apart. Of course, she is not entirely alienated from her lot for she really wishes “there was no such thing as a Monday.” — S.W.P
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