July 8, 2004

Alcoholism is a curse that destroys not only the alcoholic’s life, but that of his family and friends also, writes Yasmin Mithari

One fine December evening when my family and I were watching television, there was a knock at our door. I went to see who it was and was surprised to see my next-door-neighbour, standing there red-eyed and it was quite obvious that she had been crying. She had visible bruises on her swollen face and asked to speak to my mother. I quickly let her in and gave her a glass of water and a tissue.

After she sat down, we asked her what had happened. Through her tears, she told us that her husband was an alcoholic and had beaten her up when she tried to stop him from drinking too much that day. She also said that this was a regular routine, with or without a reason, and she was getting tired of this behaviour.

Her husband’s physical health had deteriorated since he had been drinking for almost a year. Consequently, he was out of work and earned nothing. Over time she had come to realize that his habit had adversely affected his personality, his family and his social life.

Alcoholism alters an individual’s entire personality. If the craving is not met, it can lead one to steal money, first from home, and later on, from other places. Besides its effects on physical health, one of the major side effects of alcohol is that it slows down the thought process. When a person is drunk, it is impossible to think straight and therefore it’s hard to concentrate on one’s work. This results in a gradual decline in productivity.

It has been proven that large alcohol intake causes damage to health. The harm may be physical or psychological. The situation gets worse as the addiction progresses. This jeopardizes the alcoholics’ ability to work and can even lead to unemployment.

As a consequence of their disturbed thought process, they behave awkwardly in public. In their drunken state, they lose sight of reason and don’t know what they are doing or saying. In turn, society stigmatizes them and labels them as alcoholics. People feel uneasy in their presence and start avoiding them.The family life of an alcoholic is mostly disturbed. The rest of the family feels that their life has become a living hell and usually the spouse is the first person to feel the brunt of it.

Often, if the alcoholic is a husband, he will abuse the wife verbally as well as physically. The relationship suffers to the point where divorce or separation sometimes becomes imminent. In most of the cases, if the wife asks for money from the husband, or asks him to stop drinking, it makes him more violent, which in turn leads to frequent fights.

If there are children in the house, they suffer too. Children look up to their parents as role models and get frightened when they see their parents arguing; this leads to a sense of instability and insecurity, which in turn results in poor performance at school, as the prevailing domestic situation distracts and disturbs them.

Most children of alcoholics become recluse and their personality also suffers in the process. This can result in mental disorders in the future. Authors who have written on the subject say that children of alcoholics become more vulnerable to psychiatric disorders.

As alcoholics are unaware of their actions in their drunken state, their children develop a negative attitude towards everyone in general. They not only find it hard to trust another person, they also start disrespecting their parents. On a more personal level, alcoholism leads to deterioration in the quality of friends that one keeps. The alcoholic’s social life is affected. Imagine a life without sincere friends. It would be like living in an isolated world.

People need friends for good days and bad days to vent their feelings, to take advice from them when in trouble. But if a person gets himself into alcoholism, friends desert him. Nobody likes to make friends with an alcoholic and therefore they are deprived of this blessing.

Alcoholics have many psychological complications and a person can easily be stigmatized. As friends other alcoholics take up their place, since they thrive on drinking together. These friends are not those who come forth in a person’s time of need. Rather, they are friends of convenience.

Even when we look at ourselves, we would prefer not to be in the company of an alcoholic. A lot of this has to do with our religious and cultural mindsets that condemn alcoholism. But today, this issue is as deeply ingrained in our society as in the West. The only difference is that the existence of this social evil is not yet readily acknowledged.

Lack of friends in turn results in less outings and entertainment. This causes alcoholics to stay at home most of the time, feeling depressed and low. Because of this, they increase their alcohol intake to feel better and improve their mood.

Religions have placed a great deal of emphasis on the treatment of neighbours; to take care if someone is sick, to provide food if they are in need, and so on. In the case of an alcoholic neighbour, we completely forgo our moral responsibility and leave him on his own. We cease all relationships with such people which further isolates them socially.

Alcoholism not only ruins an individual’s life, but also his family’s. Its adverse and long-lasting effects far outweigh the momentary relief it provides. So if you think that the first sip is not going to cause much damage, think again, for the addiction it brings in its wake surely will.

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