May 27, 2004

FILM
Reportedly a hit across the border, I thought that even if it wasn’t in the league of Hera Pheri or Hungama (two very funny movies directed by Priydarshan) Masti might turn out to be a pleasant surprise and provide some decent laughs. But no such luck. Over-blown and over-acted, this Indra Kumar (Dil, Beta, Raja) directed movie tries desperately hard to be funny but fails big time and it has all the subtlety of getting hit on the head with a mallet. It wants to convince you with a lot of bombast that it’s funny but pulling faces and pratfalls do not automatically translate into comedy. Practically the whole cast overacts with the worst offenders being the three leads Vivek Oberoi, Aftab Shivdasani and Ritesh Deshmukh who play three young husbands with wandering eyes. The wives are played by Amrita Rao, Tara Sharma and Genelia D’Souza and Ajay Devgan is on hand too as a cop. But it’s all a mess and even the presence of the beauteous Lara Dutta can’t rescue the movie. After a while, I found myself fast-forwarding much of the movie. — Khusro Mumtaz

OR
I had no luck with comedy this week. The Whole Nine Yards was a pretty funny movie but its sequel The Whole Ten Yards is a total waste of time. Most of the cast from the original is back but they really have bad material to work with. Bruce Willis, Matthew Perry, Natasha Henstridge, Amanda Peet, Kevin Pollak are all pretty decent actors but even they can only do so much. The plot is just an excuse to string a few jokes and comedic situations together — sometimes this can work but not when the jokes aren’t very funny and situations not very comedic. For what it’s worth, the sequel picks up a few years after the first movie ended and Willis (retired mob hit-man) and Peet (wanna-be mob hit-woman) are married and living in Mexico while dentist Perry is running a thriving practice in Los Angeles and living with his new wife Henstridge (who also happens to be the ex-wife of Willis). Then the return of an old gangster (Pollak) and a lost fortune throws their lives out of whack. But I just wanted to whack the actors and producers for making such a stupid, unfunny movie. Avoid. — K. M.

CLASSIC FILM
Diary Of A Chambermaid (1964), an adaptation of the French novel by Octave Mirbeau is, at least on the surface, a more conventional movie than some of famed Spanish director Luis Bunuel’s more surrealistic and non-straight-forward works like The Exterminating Angel, Simon Of The Desert and the awesomely brilliant Belle De Jour. But there are many layers to this black & white classic. The title might suggest a movie about sex but the film is as much about politics as about decadent behaviours — domestic politics, manor-politics, class politics, nation-state politics and, of course, sexual politics. Set in 1930s France, as fascism and anti-Semitism rise across Europe, the story follows Celestine (Jeanne Moreau), an urbane chambermaid from Paris who comes to work at the country estate of a repressed bourgeoisie family. There she meets an old man who secretly has a foot fetish, a brutish, xenophobic groundsman with confused ideas about religion, an over-sexed husband whose desires cannot be fulfilled by his under-sexed wife, an ex-army colonel who keeps throwing his trash into his neighbours’ property, and so on. Celestine deflects passes from practically every man she comes across but not for reasons of morality or purity. Shades of grey abound and moral ambiguity exists in practically all the characters, whether belonging to the landed gentry or the lower working classes. The movie is disturbing, thought-provoking, drolly funny and sometimes chilling. In French with English subtitles. Available in Pakistan on DVD.— K. M.

SINGLE
Former VJ Sophia hit the jackpot when she turned singer and her latest album Sophie and Dr. Love is sure to bring more attention her way. Already a rage in India, this remixed album features some great covers and remixes of old hits such as lead single Mera Babu Chail Chabeela. Originally sung by Runa Laila, this track is essentially the same as the original, but is more danceable and clubby because the line “Dr. Love just come ... can’t you see I’m in pain” is brilliantly and effectively sampled onto the track. For this inclusion alone, it was worth it for Soph to do the cover.

The artist’s voice is quite good but it’s the video that makes this song truly shine. Featuring the beautiful brunette alternating between being a belly-dancer and a wallflower, this sexy reel is definitely the strongest contributor to the phenomenal sales of Sophie and Dr. Love in Pakistan.—T. U. Dawood

ALBUM
It’s a sad state indeed when such a talented singer as Janet Jackson has to resort to vulgar Superbowl pranks in order to draw attention to her music. That act in itself certainly foreshadowed the weak content of her new CD Damita Jo. Her eighth studio album, this disc — the title of which is part of her middle name — has all the right people but not the right formula. Jimmy Jam and Terry Lewis are back but they too seem to be trying too hard this time around. Every track seems to be about sex, sex and more sex and not even the jammin’ Bootylicious kind. Instead, Jackson has created such numbers as Sexhibition, Moist and My Baby. Lead single Just a Little While is a little better and even recalls Prince at moments. Still, it’s not one for any greatest hits CD and in the video Jackson doesn’t look her best. All leathered up and cleavage heavy, the diva seems to have dismissed the human softness that always separated her from brother Michael and touched so many hearts on her earlier tunes like Love Will Never Do Without You, Control and Let’s Wait a While. Even when she was her sexiest — like the raunchy Black Cat or the too-sexy-to-be-true If — Jackson was still on our side of sanity’s, not Michael. After the Superbowl prank and this weak, only desperate disc, it’s scary that perhaps the coolest Jackson of all, may end up crossing the line to Never Never Land as well ... — T. U. D

WEBSITE
In today’s competitive world, proper marketing holds enormous importance. Whatever your product is offering, what new features it has, how it’s unique as compared to what your competitors are offering and how it could benefit the consumers should be properly communicated to the buyer. The site www.marketingprofs.com is an excellent guide in this regard. The articles featured focus on the online marketing but also deal with questions regarding your concerns of advertising on television, print, outdoor and even caters to your direct marketing questions. Subjects like global marketing, consumer analysis, branding, research methods and many other topics are also addressed. The guideline offered is really practical and written in an easy language. You can also become a member and attend online seminars and also download books offered online. It is no doubt a complete resource and could cater equally a new businessman, marketing professional or student. — Henna Arshad

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