August 28, 2003

Haniya Mansoor’s take on Waiting for Godot has taught her a few lessons in life

My A level English literature class was highly rewarding. I was once given a brief history of Samuel Beckett’s Waiting for Godot. Then, as if destiny was at work, I attended a play arranged by the British Council where I came across the two characters from the novel. I remember laughing with the audience at these two silly men wasting their lives, waiting for some being who would come and solve all their problems.

It is as though I was to put my life on hold waiting for Space Man Spiff to come rescue me. I really see that happening. Then I thought about it — and it’s true. We all wait for Godot in our own idiosyncratic ways.

For instance, I am perplexed, like many others, about what to do with my life. I frequently whine and consume large quantities of death by chocolate. However, it does not help. I am stuck in second gear. Therefore, I wait for something to happen (i.e. Godot) like my overdue cheque or my acceptance from the university whose students affairs manager I have stalked. If my acceptance were to arrive, I would not have to worry about finding creative outlets (to prevent my self from exploding) as college would provide many opportunities for widening my horizons.

If my cheque is processed I can give my room the paint job it needs, start Spanish and classical dance classes, get art supplies, and that nifty Van Gogh mouse pad. I am stumped about my present state of affairs just like the two men in the book. However, like many others, I am not bummed enough as lots of people refuse to do anything about their sorry conditions. We are not apathetic. Remember: we complain.

People who wait for Godot are people who lack will power. It is so much easier to transfer the responsibility to someone else. It is like saying “Hey! Do not blame me for the way I am. Godot just hasn’t arrived yet.” There is a fat chance that Godot might never come. So instead of wallowing in misery waiting for him to come to us, I figured out that...get this...we go to him! Now how nifty is that? We go to Godot and surprise the daylights out of him.

In my case, Godot encompasses firstly the inefficient TV channel that has not processed my cheque (too busy distributing gold to the entire world). It is also my harassed university, which refuses to send me an acceptance letter.

Tomorrow I plan on landing at the studio and demanding my very overdue cheque. I’m no longer going to be proactive because that doesn’t scare a fly. I’m going to be reactive like plutonium. Then I’m going to go and stage a protest outside the University of Bring-More-Donation. And if they still do not accept me, then I will plead with my father to be charitable and fund the university’s new research on the mating calls of bullfrogs.

I have a sudden urge to listen to I Will Survive by Gloria Gaynor and eat oatmeal and raisin cookies. If you are sick of waiting for Godot, it is time to take matters into your own hands.

I do not like Godot. Not that I know him. However, I am telling you he is no good. Godot is a hairy, high school drop out who is out to make sure we all become losers like him. Believe in him and you are most likely to be mistaken for either Beavis or Butthead. I have realized that the best way to solve my problems is to write about them. Instead of going into fits, I rant and rave in my diary. Penning my problems is very therapeutic. It helps put things in perspective. I do not have to wallow in misery waiting for you-know-who.

Another thing you can do to get out of the blues is take kick boxing classes. I am going to start and I am very excited. The idea of one full hour of adrenaline pumping action is mind blowing. At the risk of sounding lame, I would like to inform you that adrenaline is good for you. It has medically been proven to drive those blues away.

By the way, the time I have spent waiting for Godot has taught me an invaluable lesson: Never watch a TV show for more than two minutes consecutively, or your sadistic cable operator will find out and discontinue your service until the show is over. Well I also figured out that I am the force and whether I fail or win shall be no man’s (or Godot’s) doing but my own.

Actually, Elaine Maxwell figured that out, but I totally believe it, and chant it when I need to bring forth my reserves of will power. Therefore, I am proud to announce (drum roll please) that for me the concept of Godot has gone the way of the Dodos!

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