June 5, 2003

A renowned Parsi scholar and eminent public speaker recently held fascinating lectures on ‘Life after Death’ and ‘Interpretation of Dreams’, which were much appreciated by the audience, writes Shazia Hasan

The mysteries of nature have always held man in a state of active curiosity. Death and life after death, ghosts and spirits, dreams and nightmares can all be seen as enigmas to baffle the mind. But in life, even after life for that matter, nothing happens without an explanation.

To commemorate Dastur Dr Dhalla’s 47th death anniversary, the Dastur Dr Dhalla Memorial Institute recently organized two public lectures by a visiting Parsi scholar and well-known public speaker, Ruby Phiroze Lilaowala. Ruby, a researcher, writer, singer, lawyer and public speaker hails from Mumbai, India. The two lectures given by her were titled Life after Death and Interpretation of Dreams — both very interesting yet unconventional subjects to discuss. The lectures were first in a series of many forthcoming talks by various visiting scholars.

Even with no special invitations and just an announcement in the papers, the spacious hall of the local hotel was full of people, mostly from the Parsi community, eager to hear what the expert had to say. Young Parsi volunteers carried out all the pre-planning and organization for the two consecutive evenings. The first lecture coincided with the death anniversary of the prophet Zarathustra, founder of the Zoroastrian religion.

Life after Death was an enlightening talk based on the journey from the “womb to the tomb” and what follows. Ruby’s beliefs are based on theories and observations of the cosmos where, she says, there is a law called the cycle of existence under which the galaxies, Milky Way, planets, etc, are created and destroyed and then created again over a period of thousands of years. Just like that, she pointed out that we, too, follow a cycle or set pattern of birth, childhood, youth, middle age, old age, death and reincarnation.

At this point the speaker stopped to explain and make clear that she was aware that many religions, including Islam and Zoroastrianism, didn’t believe in reincarnation and that she was not here to convince anyone to set aside their beliefs. Her theories were open to acceptation or rejection. Nevertheless, many notable people of the past and present such as Napoleon Bonaparte, Victor Hugo, Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, John Mansfield, Plato, Aristotle, Khalil Gibran, Louisa May Alcott, Socrates, Houdini and even J.K. Rowlings believe in the phenomena.

According to Ruby Lilaowala, one journeys in his or her physical body from the time of birth till the time of death. But the journey does not end there. After passing on we still continue with our journey but without our physical self. But to discuss that, she first discussed life and the quality of life led.

The quality of life should not depend on good health and wealth. It’s not how much we have but how much we can make use of whatever we have been blessed with. That’s the definition of a good life. And after leading a good life, it is okay to look forward towards an end to that life. For death is just a transformation.

In death, we have to let go of all worldly things, relationships included, for the relationships only existed in that life. The body they were related to has been left behind. Understanding the theory helps in understanding death better. It helps in connecting to life after death.

Death shouldn’t be frightening as it is comparable to sleep. Many people are scared that they’ll lose their minds and memory when they die. But your mind or brain, too, is part of your body which has been left behind. In a way, it is merciful to leave behind your memories as it makes you able to look ahead towards a new life.

According to the scholar, every smile and every tear is earned by us from our previous life. That is why she stresses on doing good deeds even if it means going out of your way to do them. The cosmic world has lessons to teach. One lifetime, be it a long one of 80 to 90 years is seen as equivalent to just one day in the cosmic world. Our thoughts and the good or bad that we do in our lives is left behind as energies that come back to us. Hence the saying, “What goes around comes around.”

Relating the story of a young ghost, Ruby tried to make light of what ghosts are. A couple in a car encountered a young woman who was desperate for a lift to her parents’ place. While giving directions to her parents home, she continuously requested the driver to drive faster as she wanted to meet her parents for the last time.

On reaching the destination the couple realized that the woman had disappeared. The old couple living in the house they had reached invited the disturbed couple inside and told them their daughter’s story.

She had been burned to death by her in-laws. Before dying, the poor woman had screamed her desire to meet her parents for the last time. According to Ruby, her ghost, which the couple had encountered, was a conscious thought or energy that remained even after the life had ended.

As mentioned earlier, death is very much like sleep. But sleep brings on dreams and death is sleep without dreams. That brings us to the second lecture, Interpretation of Dreams. In life, we aspire to do many things. There are also things we are afraid of. That’s where dreams come in.

Ruby says that dreams are transcendent — they are subjective consciousness. There are two types of consciousness in the 24-hour cycle of our lives — awake consciousness (during the day) and asleep consciousness (during the night). It is during the sleeping consciousness that dreams occur. Our brain is divided into two hemispheres — right and left. Dreams only occur in the right hemisphere. The left hemisphere deals with logic and practicality.

According to her, dreams carry great significance in our lives. They can be taken as messages or at times warnings from God. Dreams also help in our creativity. Providing examples of notable personalities of the past such as Mozart, Beethoven, Einstein, etc. Ruby explained how dreams help in producing creative thoughts and ideas. They are the providers of inspiration. Just a day before coming up with his theory of relativity, Albert Einstein saw in his dream that he was travelling through space almost at the speed of light and he saw the starlight refract.

Ruby gave an example of a message or warning from God. A poor Russian couple who had several children could not afford to have another one. Therefore, they decided to terminate the pregnancy. But before going through with it, the mother saw a dream in which a little girl pleaded to let her live because she wanted to see the world and dance on her toes. The dream had such a strong effect on the mother that she decided against having the abortion. The baby girl who was born grew up to become a great ballerina.

Most of the time, after waking up, we cannot remember our dreams. The first thing one should do after waking up is to write down whatever you remember of your dream on a piece of paper as what we see in our dreams is important to our lives, she concluded.

The good Samaritan

Besides being a noted public speaker, Ruby loves to travel and pen travelogues. Together, she and her husband have travelled to over 30 countries. A freelance journalist, she writes for many papers and magazines. Her English column, Kaleidoscope in Jam-i-Jamshed, is very popular with Parsis all over the world. In fact that is what brought her here. Byram D. Avari extended an invitation to her for four talks, the first two of which were only open to the Parsi community. “My readers invited me to Sydney, Australia, last year and New Zealand the year before that. I am well known for my lectures on very bizarre subjects,” laughs Ruby. “Coming to Karachi was like another free holiday. I never miss a chance of mixing business with pleasure.”

This is Ruby Phiroze Lilaowala’s first visit to Pakistan. She has come with her husband Phiroze who is also here for the first time. The couple loves it here. The people, the weather and the food are all pleasant experiences. “Even the Karachi roads are so much less congested than the roads in Mumbai!” Phiroze was happy to put forth the comparison.

The afternoon of Ruby’s second lecture (May 29) was spent shopping by the Lilaowalas, since they were also celebrating their very first meeting’s 37th anniversary. The very chic designer shalwar kameez that Ruby was wearing, I am told, was also a gift from her loving husband.

Other than travelling the world, writing and lecturing, Ruby is a qualified advocate. “I work in the Parsi Matrimonial Court. Seeing so many marital problems these days has made me more sensitive towards my personal relationships.” The couple have two daughters, 36 and 29, and three grandsons, the eldest being almost 18 years old and the youngest only 5.

“Together, Phiroze and I try to keep the romance alive in our marriage. Both our names, Ruby and Phiroze, are gemstone names. We have a perfect relationship. Each morning when I wake up, I think of something to do that would bring a smile to Phiroze’s face that day. He does the same thing for me and together we think about what we should do for someone else, a total stranger, to make him or her happy that day. That’s how we remain conscious of what’s going on with people around us.” Ruby stresses helping others in all her lectures.

Upon realizing that she was being interviewed for Dawn, Ruby said she was very familiar with our paper. As Censorship Officer in the Ministry of Information in Doha, Qatar, it was part of her duty to daily go through all the foreign papers. “Your paper was the cleanest one. I never had to blacken or cut anything out,” she said. — S.H.

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