May 29, 2003

From the time of ‘cave woman’ to the woman of the 21st century, woman has excelled at methods of self-preservation and the art of grooming. Is there more emphasis on this now? I don’t think so. Woman has always wanted to look beautiful and feel good.

The concept of the ideal body image and fashion relating to apparel and hair, make-up and ornaments differs not only between cultures and nationalities, but is also subject to change determined by ‘what’s in fashion’. However one looks at it though, the universal truth is that fashion aside, woman is born with an inherent desire to groom.

Grooming is perhaps that intrinsic trait which embodies the femininity of the female soul and figure. It comes to us as second nature. It can vary from all sorts of cosmetic treatments — be it the hair, face, hands, feet and the various constituents of the body, as we all know — to even include make-up, ornaments, dress and now exercise as well.

Grooming has undergone much change, or shall we say it has become extremely advanced; cosmetic procedures and surgeries now enable one to actually change one’s features.

It can be argued that procedures more so than surgeries can be considered to fall within the purview of grooming as it is generally understood; surgeries, however, stretch the concept of grooming too far.

I think every woman decides for herself where she is going to draw the line in terms of the methods she uses to groom herself. Quite often, this decision is determined to a large extent by monetary constraints, but for others it becomes a matter of humility and vanity coming face to face.

The question is: Who do women groom for? Some women do it solely for themselves, but can you do it solely for yourself? Because a well-groomed woman immediately projects an image which she cannot keep to herself.

I suppose what I’m asking is: Is a woman’s grooming only about her perception of herself, which in turn motivates her towards grooming. Is it only about her feeling pleased and confident with her personal physical image, the way she sees it? Some interpret this reason for grooming as one of a narcissistic personality. An obsession with ‘the way one looks’.

I would think that there are women who devote endless amounts of time and money to look like the perfect Barbie, who would classify as such. But women who spend reasonable time and moderate amounts of money (we are not going to get into ‘reason’ and ‘moderation’, let’s save that for another column), these women have the right to treat their bodies well, for their own benefit and pleasure.

If a woman is making a conscious effort to be well groomed for a spouse, is it because it is expected or demanded of her? Or because she believes that she owes it to him? Or does she feel the need to compete? Then again maybe she just wants to look good for her husband.

I don’t know how effective expectation or demand is, because so many married women ‘just let themselves go’, despite the fact that even jewellery at times fails to send them scurrying off to parlours.

Perhaps in certain cases, wives feel they have to present themselves in a manner which is in keeping with their husbands’ lifestyles, and others fear that unless they do, their lack of interest may be seen as an indifference which would be detrimental to the relationship.

A woman who wants to look good for the world has her own psyche. She sees no wrong in investing in her appearance, knowing that it will receive the appreciation of strangers. Sometimes, such women are considered egotistical and maybe even immoral (in some societies).

People fail to understand that a woman can feel good about the fact that she is desirable without actually encouraging or inviting improper attention and overtures. After all, it’s not as though well turned out and admirable women cannot conduct themselves suitably, or for that matter, ‘dolled up’ and glamorous ones.

Grooming has put ‘groomers’ into business. There are more parlours and salons now than ever before and each one tries to outdo the other. It seems that most of them have large clienteles with quite a few who are ‘regulars’.

Some women are reluctant to switch from one salon to the other, and this is due to the fact that once the “girls” of a certain salon have won your confidence, you don’t want to try anyone new. After all, if Tina at a certain parlour knows just how you like your eyebrows shaped, you’re not going to risk having them spoilt by someone different.

Parlours have become better equipped, better maintained and definitely fancier, in the face of stiff competition. They have almost become the ideal place for a coffee party-like get together.

The room is well air-conditioned, there is music in the background, and there are three girls each having an assortment of things done while they sip their coffees, smoke their cigarettes and gossip with no inhibitions whatsoever.

It probably seems frivolous, foolish, petty and vain that we can indulge ourselves to a point of absurdity. Maybe so, but because grooming is such a fundamental aspect of a woman’s life, it makes its way into everything, everywhere. I can tell you, I don’t leave home without my lip-stick.

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