February 10, 2002

So that’s people’s idea of romance — a chubby toddler charging towards people’s hearts armed with a bow an arrow. Well, for a cherubic infant who is stark naked, Cupid sure managed to pierce his arrow through quite a few hearts. Let’s just take our showbiz arena. Not only do people fall in love on screen, but the electricity continues long after the director yells ‘cut’ and the cameras stop rolling. People like you and me will always wonder about the kind of life people in the limelight lead. Do they love like we do? Do they bleed and cry and romanticize in their off-screen lives too? Or is their existence deranged?

The Valentine day cult, it seems, is raging in full force. This is one day of the year when you can send anonymous proclamations of love to anyone without any inhibitions — on any other day you’d be arrested for stalking! It all started in 5th century Rome when mid February was traditionally the time of the Lupercian festival, an ode to the God of fertility and a celebration of sensual pleasure, a time to meet and court a prospective mate. In 496 AD, Pope Gelasius outlawed the pagan festival, cleverly replacing it with a morally acceptable celebration by glorifying a ‘lovers’ saint — the martyred Bishop Valentine — a saint who had been beheaded for helping young lovers marry against the wishes of the mad emperor Claudius. History has it that before execution, Valentine himself had fallen in love with his jailer’s blind daughter. He signed his final note to her, “From Your Valentine,” a phrase that has been immortalized through the centuries.

However, instead of emulating the life of the Saint as the Pope had hoped, people latched onto the more romantic aspect of Saint Valentine’s life. Eventually the concept of celebrating true love became known as Valentine’s Day. In the plethora of murky legends regarding St. Valentine, the saint is portrayed as a sympathetic, heroic, and an utterly romantic figure, appealing to that quixotic streak hidden in the most pragmatic of people. Later, during the Middle Ages, it was commonly believed in France and England that February 14 was the beginning of the birds’ mating season, which added to the idea that the middle of February — Valentine’s Day — should be a day for romance. Cupid, the mischievous, winged child is another symbol of the holiday — in ancient Greece he was known as Eros, the young son of Aphrodite, the goddess of love and beauty. To the Roman’s he was Cupid, and his mother was Venus.

Forget the fluff and let’s get down to the real stuff. The next best thing to fables and legends of love are the couples we see on screen. We swoon when they swoon, we snivel at their undying expressions of eternal love, we yearn fervently for a happily-ever-after end to their love lives — even though we know perfectly well that it’s all an act. Then there are the singers who belt out passionate love songs which make our hearts melt, making us tremble to the core. Do they really feel all they sing about?

Apparently, some of these stars ‘do’ have an enviable romantic life outside of tinsel town too. That’s because one and all are vulnerable to the love bug. When this little critter strikes, its victims don’t have a clue; what hit them and swept them off their feet? What made their knees turn to jelly and their hearts skip a beat?

“I’m happier than I’ve ever been,” declares Friends superstar, Jennifer Aniston in an interview. Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston are a classic example of a sizzling Hollywood couple. The couple tied the knot in a million dollar nuptial ceremony in Malibu in July 2000. An ant couldn’t have gate crashed into the premises; a whopping 100,000 dollars alone were lavished on security arrangements. And speaking of fairy tale couples, let’s not forget the Latin hunk Antonio Banderas and Melanie Griffith, hopelessly in love. The seasoned Michael Douglas and the dazzling Catherine Zeta-Jones look smashing in spite of the yawning age difference between them. Of course, one can’t ignore sour episodes like Bruce Willis and the sultry Demi Moore and Tom Cruise and the Aussie stunner Nicole Kidman calling it quits. But then, that’s showbiz. In fact, that’s life.

If Hollywood sounds many an ocean away, then let’s refresh our memories of the romances that have blossomed right in front of our eyes. There’s the cultured Rahat Kazmi and his director wife Sahira. “We don’t celebrate Valentines day....” Rahat starts off, then he chuckles, “I believe in wooing my woman everyday, not just on one single day.” Traipsing down memory lane he recalls the moment he first laid eyes on her.

“I was acting in a serial of which we had already shot two episodes and we still hadn’t landed a perfect leading lady. Sahira was doing English news on PTV at that time — that’s when I first saw her and recommended her for the role.”

They first met in a van driving them to the TV station. “I remember arguing with her on the conventionality of the camera work.” Well that argument continues to date. People were linking the couple long before the romantic notion hit their minds.

“It took three years for the sparks to start flying,” Kazmi laughs. “We used to ignore rumours of our ‘supposed’ affair, we boasted of being sensible and having our head screwed on straight well, I can feel him smile over the phone, I guess we didn’t have our heads screwed on right after all.”

Well if it wasn’t love at first sight for the Kazmis’ it certainly was for Salman Ahmad of Junoon. “The first time I saw her I just knew this was the woman I wanted to marry and I hadn’t even spoken to her yet,” he reminisces.

He first saw Samina at his uncle’s wedding. “She was from the bride’s side,” he explains. Later, Samina and Salman were batch mates in medical college too. When I quizzed him on how he plans to court his better half on Valentines Day, he promptly replied, “We have a lot of love in our day to day lives; we don’t need one particular day to celebrate our affection for each other. I do special things for her the whole year around.”

Getting hold of Brian O’ Connell was a herculean effort; I bombarded his answering machine with messages. But Brian is an utter gentleman. He called me back and was more than willing to talk about his model-cum-actress wife, Ayesha Alam. The couple has a delightful girl-next-door story. But a story with a difference.

“Ayesha used to live across the street from the apartment I was sharing with Ali Azmat in Kehkashan, Clifton. I didn’t even know she lived there until one day she happened to drop by,” Brian begins in his accent-laced, lilting voice. “The first thing that struck me about her was her beauty, her eyes, her smile....”

Brian could have gone on and on if I hadn’t interrupted to ask what he was planning for Valentines Day. “No plans yet,” he says, his tone remorseful; “things are hectic with Junoon being swamped with an album recording at present. That coupled with Ayesha being a working woman too” his voice trails off. Then he continues, “I would love to surprise her with a bouquet but the actual surprise will be if one of us will be there to give it or receive it the intention is there but the schedule isn’t,” he finishes with a resigned laugh.

Singer Faakhir plans to celebrate the big day with a thunderous bang; his much-awaited solo album is due for release on February 14.

“This album is dripping with romance; it’s dedicated to all those daring people out there who aren’t afraid to sacrifice for the people they love, because sacrificing is the essence of love” he reveals in his intense, solemn voice. “....for those people who know the pain of loving, who realize that love is a deep, intense emotion — nothing short of a roller coaster ride.

No longer is the Valentine’s Day, lovey-dovey trend restricted to the West but many a geographical and cultural boundaries have been toppled. The result — the fever is now rampant in Pakistan. In fact it’s an epidemic. And people are falling for it, hook, line and sinker. They’re dropping like flies. Left and right. Head over heels. One is forced to wonder why we, in the East, are so prompt in mimicking Western trends. It’s a near tragedy too. The price of ruby red roses have rocketed sky high; intricately sculpted heart shaped, cream-filled chocolate candies are selling like hot cakes, fluffy stuffed toys are no longer children’s play things, and you might just happen to spot a heart-shaped helium balloon hovering in the sky. Teenage girls will giggle and share romantic secrets; the twenty-something’s will court their special someones in earnest. Yes, a certain affluent class will throw bashes to celebrate this ‘day of love’; there’ll be wooing with exquisite flowers; holding hands over romantic candle lit dinners; dancing into the night with their beau; surprising the gals with extortionate baubles. Preferably the sparkling solitaire.

Anti-Valentine’s Day

The Thursday after next, much brouhaha will be made about a certain holiday, supposedly celebrating love, rebirth and other sugary things. Candy, cards, e-mails, stuffed animals, caged birds and other useless crap will be exchanged between lovers and their betrothed or soon to be. I am, of course, referring to Valentines Day, just another in that ridiculous parade of absolutely artificial holidays dedicated to crass commercialism that have invaded society. Mothers day, Father Day, Grandparents Day, Secretary’s Day, Paraplegic Cats Day — you name it — the gurus of capitalism have got a day for it!

The historical precedent for this dubious day seems quite murky, as a muddle of myths of legends abound regarding its genesis. Two of the most credible, if that, are firstly that this (let’s call it VD for the sake of my typing fingers, not to be confused with that other abbreviation for V.D., with a much stickier meaning) originated as a pagan feast amongst the ancient Romans; the Lupercalia, ‘Twas a common custom for young men amongst these long forgotten people to strike passers-by with strips of animal hide, and women willingly took the lashes believing that this inane practice would make them more fertile. And one wonders why Rome was razed by babarians.

Another bit of popular folklore links the holiday to two early Christian individuals named Valentine, one who went against Roman imperial decree by marrying soldiers to their sweethearts, the other refusing to bow down before the Roman pantheon. While in jail, Mr. Valentine No.2 tossed love notes to his admirers and children, thus possibly giving birth to the Valentine’s card. For all their efforts, both these poor chaps were probably gobbled up by hungry Roman lions before a rabid crowd, right smack in the middle of the Coliseum or the Circus Maximus.

Fast forward two millennia and we have the current VD which is no less than any circus attraction. My been isn’t with the fact that one chooses to celebrate love or honour ones parents. Not at all. Dust in my mouth. What irks me the most is that why do you need a special day to express your love to the ones that mean the most to you? Why do we need VD or a Father’s Day? Everyday should be Valentines Day and vice versa for all those other lame duck holidays. These sort of alien customs are fast creeping into the fabric of our society, and transforming it into another consumer culture driven monolith with no transforming it into another consumer culture driven monolith with no individuality and little substance.

It’s commercialism pure and simple! I’m sure the combined card, gift and candy sale in the US and Europe alone for VD runs into more zeros then one cares to count. With all the money, time and effort we spend on this riff raff, we could send another man to moon, or even a manned probe to Mars. We could probably feed the entire population of Botswana for a moth (no offence of course to the Botswanan readers). An end to this wastenfuless I say! I propose a holiday to end all time and money gobbling holidays! I call it Useless Holiday Day. On this day all the individuals that enjoy celebrating such no substance hullabaloos’ like VD and the rest can buy, trade, sell and exchange all the crap they want, thus satisfying the greedy corporate machine and at the same time leaving the saner elements of society to get on with life. Howzat?

IN all seriousness, this is the age of hype and mediocrity. These kinds of plain stupid holidays are a slap in the face to individualism. With no real religious or cultural relevance, there is but one thing that matters; the grabbing hands grab all they can. Payola. Money. VD has very little to do with love, hate or the grey area in between. So here’s to Valentines Day; the day I love to hate! — Qasim Abdullah Moini

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