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December 17, 2006
Pink versus blue
DO you ask your daughter to help with the yard work and your son to do the dishes and vise versa? Do you give your son chances to take care of others and praise him for being gentle and considerate? Do you hug your daughters as much as you hug your sons? It’s not difficult to understand the core reason for this discrimination against girls. Male chauvinism stems from their sense of superiority over women exhibited at the level of personal relationships. Men habitually refuse to contribute to the household tasks such as cooking, baby sitting etc as such actions are seen as women’s work and they feel proud saying that they never bother to step into kitchen to make cup of tea.
Most parents want their sons and daughters to have equal chances at success as they venture into the world. Today, equality of the sexes is largely mandated by public policy and law. However, outmoded ideas about gender are still deeply rooted in Pakistani culture. Biased attitude about sex differences pose challenging.
Pakistani society is traditionally patriarchal where a female child is often regarded as an “unwanted” being. Upbringing of the female child is based on the belief that biology is destiny, that they grow weak and submissive and domesticated. Gender stereotypes are rigid ideas about the capabilities, behaviour and inherent qualities that are considered normal for each sex. We all know what these stereotypes are: a girl should be non-assertive, accommodating, and somewhat illogical in her thinking while a boy should be strong, unemotional, aggressive, and competitive.
How are children exposed to these stereotypes? One reason is that gender-segregation continues in schools and colleges where girls and boys are often treated differently in the classroom. When boys call out answers, a teacher usually listens and offers constructive comments. However, when girls call out answers, teachers tend to focus on the behaviour rather than the content of the response and are likely to say something like, “please raise your hand to speak”. Girls often feel frightened to call out answers or to ask questions exclusively because, they are afraid of the boys who would tease them outside the class if their answers were wrong.
To nurture feminine consciousness girls are often sent to single-sex schools. In mixed-gender institutes, the system has defined their roles clearly: their seats and cafeterias are separate and their games are separate. Girls play soft ball and hand ball while boys play cricket and football. The curriculum also favours boys playing up the male sex. In school text books it is not common to see pictures where girls are in kitchen or market and boys are in the football ground or at a computer center. Subjects in which not much cognitive skills are involved such as language and literature are recognised as “girls' subjects” and mathematics and physics are “boys' subjects”.
Underlying gender stereotypes is the belief that differences between the sexes are not only innate and natural, but also somehow necessary. The emphasis on differences begins at birth and progresses through childhood. For example, few people give pink pants to a boy or a blue blanket to a girl. The toys chosen children are also gender-related. Many of us give girls dolls and miniature kitchen wares, while boys receive action figures and construction sets. There is nothing inherently wrong with girls playing house or boys building things. The problem arises when certain activities are deemed appropriate for one sex, but not the other. In many traditional homes, girls are not allowed to laugh aloud, as “a girl loses her modesty”. Female stereotypes discourage girls from acquiring many skills that will allow them to become financially independent. Male stereotypes discourage boys from developing skills that will help them love partners and parents. If we are serious about rearing a generation of good workers as well as good parents, we need to eliminate stereotypes that discourage boys from caring for younger children and those that steer girls away from science and technology, where many high-paying jobs exists.
Gender stereotypes inevitably get through to our children, no matter how we try to filter them out. Nevertheless, by becoming aware of the messages our children receive, we can help them develop beyond restrictive barriers. Stereotypes tell girls that how they look is important because the way self-worth is tied to beauty. When an eight-year-old girl watches TV, the prettiest woman gets the most attention, and that’s the one she wants to be. To counter that idea, parents can look for ways to challenge and support their daughters and to encourage confidence in ways that have nothing to do with physical appearance.
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