January 22, 2006

MY concern is for those who have to work all by themselves, without any extra help, guidance or coaching. Those that really have a heart for studies but due to unfavourable circumstances can’t make it. The objects of my concern are students belonging to middle and lower middle class families in our society.

Speaking of our society, one thing needs to be mentioned here that no matter how much we progress and develop as a nation, our culture is essentially a conservative one.

Though we seem to have come out of much of the conservative mindset, there are still families, especially in the middle and lower middle class, with not much of an educated background, where a girl still has to listen the words: “Why couldn’t you be a boy?” Just imagine the impact these words have on a young mind.

When girls keep hearing such words at home they may lose interest in studies since hard work, they are told, isn’t going to bring them anything. Eventually, they get discouraged, feel unaccepted, lose the motivation to work, because no matter what they do they are still going to be girls and therefore not worthy of their parent’s approval or acceptance.

In our culture, by and large, girls are over-protected, not allowed to step out of house. They are not even allowed to opt for the subjects of their choice and aptitude, the reason being that many parents don’t want their daughters to work. In this case the subjects they finally choose are not the ones they like and therefore they cannot put in their best efforts.

Another main cause for the failure of girls in college is that in middle and lower-middle class families, they are regarded as helpers of their mothers at home, are supposed to be trained in various household chores, and expected to know how to cook, clean, wash and mop.

The conventional way of thinking in this case is that many girls themselves believe that since they are going to get married sooner or later, what is the point of pursuing higher education.

There are parents who don’t think of getting their daughters married off that soon and are bent on getting them educated. However, they provide them with no opportunity and time for studying at home.

They are expected to still involve themselves in household chores and serve not only the parents but also their guests. The result is that by the time a girl finishes her household work she is too exhausted to do anything else.

In fact, if that is the routine of their daughter, parents should have no right complaining when the results come and they are not up to expectations.

Either girls should be made to stay at home and not allowed to study or they should not be burdened unnecessarily with household chores during their academic years.

I am sure that in this age of modernization and technological progress, parents don’t want their children to be ignorant and illiterate. Parents need to be considerate and take more of the responsibility themselves and leave little for the studying children so that they can do well in their studies, utilize and realize their potential and succeed in life.

The writer is a master’s student at Forman Christian College, Lahore

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