January 15, 2006

How a person views and values themselves can have a significant impact on almost everything he/she does — the way he/she relates to others, the way he/she approaches activities, the way he/she copes with adversity. This also has a marked effect on their academic performance, notably their motivation to learn, ability to focus and willingness to take risks. Thus, healthy self-esteem provides a firm foundation for learning.

My studies of psychology and continued experience with a person who lacked self-esteem brought me to observe and research why this happens and what can be done to prevent it or at least correct it. I came upon many books and articles regarding the subject and all had the same conclusions that self-esteem is one of the key building blocks to school success. Mostly referred to as self-worth, self-esteem is not a measure of a person’s capabilities, but rather an evaluation of those capabilities. It reflects a person’s feelings of being accepted and valued by others; their perception of how they measures up to others and their confidence in their ability to cope with challenges. In short, it represents their satisfaction with herself as a person.

High self-esteem empowers individuals to take on life’s challenges. A student with healthy self-esteem is comfortable with who she is and confident in her abilities. Optimistic about the future, she believes she can overcome most obstacles. She may have shortcomings, but she is not consumed by them and doesn’t let them define her. She may experience disappointments, but she is forgiving of herself when she doesn’t meet her goals. She may get frustrated but she has an inner strength that keeps her from giving up. In this sense, self-esteem helps to inoculate the student against the despair-and even depression-that can accompany low self-esteem.

Low self-esteem is the result of a gap between the way a person would like to be — their ideal self-and the way he/she perceives their perceived self. A female student, for example, with low self-esteem feels that she cannot do anything right. Her perceptions, however, are often distortions of the truth. Frequently putting negative spin on her accomplishments, she may discount as unimportant what she does well and give undue weight to what she does poorly. She may misinterpret comments of others as negative or critical. Mistakes serve to confirm her negative view of her abilities, rather than to be perceived as a normal part of learning. Her beliefs may give rise to self fulfilling prophesy: expecting to fail, she puts forth little effort, resulting in poor performance, which reinforces her expectation of failure. These students may also experience social and emotional problems. Fearful of rejection, she may be tentative in relating to peers and prefer solitary activities.

The common behaviors exhibited by such students are: believes that she is unlikely to succeed, even with hard work, gives up easily when frustrated, is very discouraged by experiences with failure, is especially sensitive to judgments of others, is timid in relating to peers, puts themselves down, shies away from academic challenges, has difficulty concentrating in class, is reluctant to speak up in class and hesitates to seek teacher assistance when confused.

Usually self esteem wanes as children go through school and as they move into higher grades, but they become increasingly aware of how their performance compares with that of their peers and siblings. A child’s self-esteem is affected by their perception of success or competence in four basic areas: * Family: does he/she feel valued and respected by parents and siblings? * Peer interaction: does he/she feel accepted and sought out by classmates? * Academic ability: is he/she confident of success with most academic tasks? * Physical attributes: is he/she content with his/her physical appearance? Does he/she feel confident and skilled in athletic activities?

It’s common to see that some students feel unsuccessful in an area, and experience a pervasive sense of worthlessness. Others may feel confident in some areas and confidence in their academic skills. Another student may be secure in their ability to read but feels inept in math. Still another may feel valued and accepted at home but sense a lack of belonging in school. If a student feels competent in the areas that are important to her, she is likely to have high self-esteem; conversely, if she is deficient in those areas-or perceives herself as deficient-she is likely to have low self-esteem. The areas that are important to her will most likely reflect the values of her family and community. Thus, a child who is physically awkward in a sports-oriented family may have low self-esteem. Similarly, a slow learner in a high-achieving family may feel especially self-conscious about her academic deficiencies.

Students with learning disabilities often experience low self-esteem. Many are confused by the mixed messages they receive as a result of their ability to do some tasks and inability to do others. As their failure experiences mount and they become increasingly discouraged, they may write off their strengths and conclude they are dumb or there is something wrong with them.

Self-esteem is not inborn, but rather learned and the building blocks for it are laid in the early life as children learn to feel loved and valued. They begin discovering about themselves as a result of the feedback they receive from important people in their lives. The key adults in a child’s life, notably parents and teachers, play a vital role in promoting feelings of confidence and competence. While they can foster the child’s self-esteem through supportive words and actions, they can also cause self-esteem to plummet by. It is not unusual for children to receive mostly negative feedback from adults, but it’s true that 10 times more negative messages are received than positive ones. They are bombarded with a constant stream of “don’ts”, “can’ts” and “shouldn’ts”, both in homes and schools.

As the child grows and becomes less egocentric, it shows increasing awareness of how he/she measures up against his/her peers. Their perceptions of being accepted by peers and their ability to get along affectively with them help to shape their feelings of self-worth. This is especially true during the teen years. In particular, their success in school plays a crucial role in how they perceive themselves. A child is likely to dwell on his/her failures and dismiss their successes. When he/she does well, they may attribute it to luck; when they do poorly, they may attribute it to incompetence.

The challenge for their teachers is to restore their belief in themselves so they persevere in the face of academic challenges. Teachers must not only express confidence in their ability to succeed, but also arrange instruction so they experience success. While schools generally recognize the importance of promoting self-esteem, they have not always agreed on the best way to do this. Though you cannot teach your student to feel good about themselves, you can nurture their self-esteem through a continual process of encouragement and support. At its most basic, it demands that you show appreciation for the things students do well and express confidence that they will improve in the areas they don’t do well. Following strategies are understandably useful in helping students become more confident academically and socially: Set a warm, supportive tone in your classroom

Provide an accepting atmosphere in which students feel valued, supported and free to take risks. Show respect for all students, especially those who are different. Let your class know that mistakes are expected and a normal part of learning. Encourage your students to compliment their classmates, and do not allow them to make fun of or put down others. Consider the impact of your actions and comments on your students

Small actions or offhand comments have the ability to lift a student’s spirits or send them on a downward spiral. The power of teachers to shape the self-confidence of their students is evident from many people who can recall either encouraging or discouraging teacher statements years after they were made. Get in the habit of trying to anticipate the impact on your students’ self-esteem of what you say and do in the classroom. Keep in mind that they may interpret ambiguous comments in unintended and often negative ways, so be clear in your communication. Avoid using language that students may perceive as criticizing them in front of their peers. Offer praise that is specific and genuine

Praise that conveys real appreciation for the student’s work will be more meaningful to her than vague, nonspecific compliments. Let them know in particular what you like about their work or behaviour. This not only tells them specifically what they have done well but also demonstrates your genuine and thoughtful appreciation of their effort. Keep in mind that a student may be uncomfortable being praised in front of his/her classmates; if so, praise them in private or send a note — for example, “Congratulations on a terrific oral report!” “That was very thoughtful of you to help.” or “I missed you and your sense of humour when you were sick.” Avoid false praise

Students are skilled at distinguishing valid feedback from empty compliments. Vague, general words of praise may mean little to them and even sound phony. Constantly telling a student that he/she is special or making a big deal out of a small accomplishment may make them uncomfortable and lessen your credibility. A student may learn to dismiss your compliments and tune out your words of support. Bolster the student’s academic skills

A student who consistently struggles with schoolwork will begin to lose confidence in their academic abilities. The most effective way to lift their confidence is to help them improve their skills. Success is the best antidote to low self-esteem, and academic mastery is the best remedy for low academic self-confidence. Carefully analyze where a student’s weaknesses are, and find ways to support them in these areas by paying special attention to their understanding of directions. Help the student gain a realistic understanding of their strengths and weaknesses

Students with low self-esteem tend to focus on their failures and dismiss their successes. Try to modify their perception by having them make a list of their strengths. Review their list, and have them add strengths that they omitted. At the same time, talk about a few areas where they needs to improve, noting that every student has weaknesses. Replace negative self-talk with positive self-talk

The internal messages of a student with low self-esteem are often negative. The public comments they makes about themselves most likely reflect their private speech. Try to counter their negative self-talk by exposing their misperceptions and offering a more positive and realistic view of their abilities. Help the student cope with failure

Your role is not just to show the student how to minimize difficulty, but also how to cope with it constructively. Help them appreciate that failure is a normal part of learning and that accomplishment rarely comes without setbacks. Convey your belief that their failure is temporary, and that with perseverance and new strategies you are confident they will succeed. Ask them to recall a time when they had difficulty with a task but with hard work finally mastered it. Allow a student to express frustration and acknowledge their feelings, but then move on to help them understand the source of the problem and give them strategies for improving. In disciplining the student, be sure to focus on the behaviour rather than the individual

A student with low self-esteem may sometimes misbehave in class. You should not treat her/him differently from other students if she/he does, but be sure to convey that your concern is with their behaviour, and not with them as a person. Remember that calling a person bad, cuts the very root of self-esteem. Challenge the student

Give the student work that engages their minds and stretches their abilities, but make sure it is within their ability. Presenting tasks that are too difficult will quickly discourage an unconfident learner; presenting tasks that are too easy will leave them feeling unfulfilled. Use your knowledge of the student and their frustration tolerance to determine the appropriate difficulty level. Make sure the student completes it, even if prompting and additional time is needed. As he/she gains confidence, give him/her somewhat more difficult work and lessen you involvement.

Self-esteem is not something that teachers can give to students. Rather, it results from real effort and genuine accomplishments. It comes from meeting what they perceive to be real challenges — in short, from earning it. It is not just the student’s experiences with failure that lessen self-esteem, but also their interpretation of these experiences. Teachers should promote self-esteem and prevent low self-esteem. A child doesn’t come in this world with low self-esteem; it’s the environment that makes them so. Gestures that may take you only a couple of minutes can brighten a student’s day, and on the other hand can cut like a knife and leave a wound. Parents and teachers, in particular should remember that “indifference and neglect often causes more damage than outright dislike.”

Please Visit our Sponsor (Ads open in separate window)