Can men be compared to animals? If yes, which are the animals that resemble them most?
WOMEN writers have often been accused of writing against men and siding with females. At times it seems right; but sometimes this one-sided approach is not taken in good taste. Cupid, the creature responsible for inducing love in the hearts of all human beings, was a male. So who are we to fight the legends created in Greek mythology? I guess, this article has to be in favour of men too, for which I will be strapped to the electric chair sponsored by the male society.
Personally speaking, I guess there is no species as cute cuddly, vulnerable and desirable as men. Throughout the article when I would be mentioning men, many a time your minds will wander away from the subject. Reason being, I have adopted a metaphoric technique of writing, that is, comparing two dissimilar objects with one another, something that was in vogue in the 18th century. One such example is William Blake’s famous poem The Poison Tree in which the poet has compared the anger of man to a ripe fruit of a tree.
Charles Darwin, again a man, was an exceptional person and his theory that man has evolved from apes, made his name famous. All right, he did not separate males from females, and saw them as a whole; but we should stick to just the male version as females would only add to our woes.
So, let me give you information on the animals that resemble, or have similarities to, men.
Apart from their physical resemblance to animals like monkeys, men have innocent faces with beaming eyes. Their antics of jumping from one tree to another, that is, men’s ability to jump in and out of relationships without any guilt pangs, is a gift handed over to them by their ancestors (read: apes). Keeping their clan close to them, yet indulging in all sorts of fun and frolic, they make inaudible noises (the mating call) and thus create a massive hullabaloo with their presence. Such men have the animal instincts of monkeys.
Again, if Cupid aims its arrow, dipped in the potion of love, towards males, its effect is effervescent and the male will fall for a woman with all his heart, soul and mind. Now his obedience and commitment to his lady love is like a dog; he follows, tracks, checks, waits, keeps account of all the movements of his lady love. Even when she kicks him, he yelps and returns for a juicy bone. Once married, such a male not only takes care of his kennel, I mean house, but also roams around for hours to collect bones, I mean food, for its puppies — sorry children. In fact, his fidelity is quoted as an example. When someone has to praise a man’s sincerity, he quotes: “He has a dog-like presence.” It means, his faithfulness is unconditional yet his lady love calls him ‘worse than a dog’ if her anger is aroused by any chance.
Now let’s compare males to crows. These are the flirtatious, feathery types and as the proverb goes, ‘birds of the same feather, flock together’. No matter where they roam, peck, prick, sip and stretch they marry their own kind, sticking close to their kith and kin, that is, phuphi ki larki, khala ke beti.
Now comes the snake variety. The one’s with hypnotic eyes, wallets stuffed with all types of credit cards, luring their darlings to their pits (houses), their venomous spit (kiss) and their avaricious traps for convincing females of their undying love and false glamour, seen by women through rose-coloured glasses. They have the magical quality of slipping out of one’s hands into realms unknown, and after they have absolutely poisoned girls with their venom, they make their disappearing act, the dejected and damned woman getting her system cleared from an overdose of sleeping pills or her slit wrists being bandaged at some clinic.
Then there are lions. Absolute rulers, with all rights reserved for themselves, and for their females. All she has to do is to serve him unconditionally (the lion) and take care of his den (house). As long as her life rotates around him, he purrs with affection and one right, oh sorry, wrong move and his roar can be heard afar. She just has to bask in his glory and pay enormous tributes to his generosities, that is, ghar ka kharcha/pani and how gorgeous he looks etc.
Also, we can compare males to horses. This category symbolizes glory, fame and fortune. The men who have any sort of affiliation with the horse-like category need applause and projection all the while, which is the only aim of their weakened souls. Just like the conquering heroes or horses they mount on and return jubilant from races amidst hoofs and bugles. These power-hungry men looking ahead do not comprehend the fact that the reins were all the while in someone else’s hands, or when the press decides to write them off. These men are collectors of medals, trophies, not to mention dusky damsels.
There is another kind, the much debatable mule, that has been unnecessarily subjected to immense criticism in our society. Mules are the best-friends types, the agreeable souls, no contradicting remarks, critical in-between lines. In fact they are women’s ‘yes’ men. These men are just there with no promise of bringing any wrongs into women’s lives. They provide ‘emotional therapy’ which they call ‘motivation’. Till the time women go through their catharsis, they hold their attention and serve as a shoulder to cry on; but once practicality dawns upon the already restless females, she realize that the relationship was a waste of time and energy, as the mule-kind has neither pride nor ancestry to show off nor the hope for any kind of prosperity.
The ship of the desert, the camel kind, the modern age eccentric, who lives for the future, stuns his desire to live for the present. As far as the future is concerned, who knows he himself would not be there? He has the eyes, yet lacks the gift of penetration, his family leading a life of a third-grader. He plans for the rainy day, yet the woman who is smart soon comprehends that this camel type variety is a miser and she would have to grow old to experience the benefits of the relationship. Youth and common sense make her run before time runs out for her.
In comparison, women can be compared to the animal kingdom too. The grace of a swan, the beauty of a peacock, the softness of the rabbits fur, the swiftness of the butter flies’ flight, the voice of the cuckoo and the cat-like demeanour can all be attributed to womenfolk. Once they find the right lap they stick to it for the rest of their lives.
I guess, one day animals may have to face extinction but their resemblance to males would not end. Only when Cupid aims its arrow dipped in the potion of love that hits men’s heart do they realize that man is the most marvellous invention of God. It’s the virtues of love, respect, kindness, forgiveness, understanding, compassion, truth and honour that raise him to highest levels, Ashraful makhluqaat, making him superior to the animals that have been compared with him.
Don Quixote has very aptly said: “A true man has the soul of fibre and the heart of an oak.” These virtues should be kept in mind while reading this article to maintain a humorous perspective. So ladies, at the end of this article, you may now be having a clearer picture of what category your animal, oh sorry, your man belongs to, and how to deal with him. They say, life is a jungle and only the fittest survives.
Can men be compared to animals? If yes, which are the animals that resemble them most? 
