AS I screamed at the top of my lungs, my husband and son came running into the room. “What happened?” was my husband Nasir’s question. Meanwhile, my son spotted the little red creature, which was now retreating. My son started laughing. “Abbo, your friend has tried again to befriend my mama.” By the time he brought the roach-killer, Nasir sahib took off his slipper and — tha tha — the prowling creature paid the penalty for befriending his dear wife. Everything was brought under control.
Like hundreds of women, I also get scared of the little insect. I was shivering at the site of the murder scene. My son said: “Come mama, have some water and relax yourself.” Deep inside my heart I was feeling ashamed to have disturbed my dear ones, so I went back to the kitchen with suspicion that the partner of the murdered creature would come to take revenge. Nervously opening the kitchen cabinets, I continued my cooking, when suddenly I felt some movement on my arm. “It must be the roach’s partner,” and before I could scream, my son’s laughter brought me back to the real world. “Oh Jamal it’s you!”
“Mama, why are you so scared of the roaches? They’re smaller than your thumb.”
“No, I am not scared of them, I know very well that the small creatures can do no harm to me. They are so helpless that if they turn upside down, they can’t change their position.”
He ignored my statement and inquired: “How did you pass intermediate zoology practicals, where you are required to dissect it?” Oh God! How can I forget my college days, I had no choice but to study biology? I recalled the zoology lab assistant who used to leave some live roaches and the running of the girls and their wild screams used to raise our professor’s blood pressure. On certain occasions we were punished, on other occasions a heavy dose of sermon used to greet us. We all used to hate the lab boy who would very mischievously smile at us. Complaining against him meant an invitation to another similar incident. My father used to tell us (whenever I screamed at the sight of a roach) that he used to terrify one of my aunts by holding a roach whenever he needed some extra pocket money. My daughter’s tutor has kept one in a bottle to make children finish their homework quickly. One of my friends fainted on her wedding day because the naughty husband knew about her weakness, had some roaches and silently freed them when the bride reached home. Now killing roaches at home has fallen to his fate.
I glanced through some literature in order to find out as to why they are so difficult to control. Wow, they are considered as ‘living fossil’ because of their ability to survive in any kind of environmental condition. They flourished during the carboniferous period about 300 million years ago. They eat just about anything including the book binding glue, which consists of copper sulphate, a deadly chemical. They foul the material over which they run and carry germs of certain dangerous diseases. They are carried to far off places by man because they hide in boxes. In buildings and houses, because of their sturdy body which is flat enough to squeeze through minute openings, they hide in narrow crevices, behind shut drawers and in places where it is difficult to find and destroy them.
While being interviewed in West Africa, I was asked by someone if I was scared of insects. His remarks, “Women from the subcontinent are very delicate,” challenged me and my first visit to a farmhouse along with international experts was to prove my strength.
My baggy colourful dress attracted a big grasshopper who landed on my neck before I could scream for help and started moving towards my nape. Wow, no screaming and my right hand was holding the hopper. The director was smiling. I am a brave Pakistani woman.
“Mama, so you are not scared of roaches?” my son said. He was holding one to test my statement. “Not really! But this tiny six-legged creature does give me the creeps, because of its association with dirty habitat,” was my instant reply. “Then why do you scream and we run to save you?” he inquired. I had no answer. I was smiling because I know that they care for me.
