At a certain age, it is easy to give up things that were once part and parcel of one’s personality
I MUST really give up ‘giving things up’. I am getting to be so minimalist as I grow older that I could end up qualifying as a Tibetan monk. TV is the latest sacrifice. I have been always fond of old movies since my college days — both English and Indian, and had several heart-throbs — Nargis, Madhobala, Kamini Kaushal, Deborah Kerr and Jean Simmons. They provided me role models for falling in love. I realized much to my disappointment that due to a strike in the manufacturing unit in the heavens for such super females, it had been closed down. Dilip Kumar, on the other hand, extracted more tears out of my eyes than any woman. This nostalgic appetite continued and developed till I crossed 55 years. In fact, I had stopped watching anything else till my TV set broke down two weeks ago and I have yet to have it fixed. I might have had it fixed earlier if they were making better old type movies, but that kind of art seems to have been lost. All movies are now in colour, which deprives me of even the pleasure of imagining the colour of my favourite star’s eyes. So I am no more bothered. I listen to old songs on radio but no news. Who can match the resonance of Mr Z.A. Bokhari?
What other aspects of life’s rich tapestry am I letting pass by? I no longer drive and I have never missed the pleasures of driving good old Morris Minor. I have drastically reduced number of cups of tea. As regards any beverage stronger than tea, my wife’s strong threats of “Maika or Madira” serve as a strong deterrent and I don’t eat red meat any more, because I imagine it would be more difficult to handle “mad cows” than an average wife. As for sex, now what on earth is that?
I am afraid there is not much for me left to give up now, except cultural shows, and I am working on that. But I would not like my readers to imagine that I am sliding into total ascetism in my old age. I still immensely enjoy the pleasures of life such as reading, theatre going, dinner with selected friends and trekking. And how pleasurable indeed it is to dip into a good book or browse through sportspages and bridge columns of a newspaper. Of course, I have given up reading juvenile statements of politicians, MNAs, MPAs, financial wizards and horrific horoscopes. If I ever have my idiot box fixed, it would be for the sheer curiosity of investigating the hypnotic effect of video games I have observed they have on my grandchildren.
But how can I express sheer joy of giving thing up? Don’t we all? I was about to say it is a particularly Hindu Sanyasi trait, but come to think of it, so many Americans have given up so much alcohol, cigarettes, caffeine, cholesterol and voting in presidential election that one would think they were reverting back to the days of their founding fathers’ puritanism. Fear of Aids has frightened away many Americans from sex.
The difference though is that Americans give up things in order to keep themselves sickeningly healthy, whereas I give up things for the sheer heck of it. It has now almost become a hobby. I sometimes wonder whether the process has something to do with aging or I am a reincarnation of some Fancisian monk? But the trend isn’t that frightening yet.
I used to enjoy eating chocolates, but have now given it up, and let me make it quite clear, it is despite the encouragement from bimboes in chocolate ads, I made the decision. I could virtually make it my staple food, but for the prices and their uncertain availability in spite of the best efforts by our smugglers rated as world class. I am reasonably convinced that apart from compelling me to move to the next hole on my trouser belt — always a risk worth taking — it would do me no harm and perhaps may do some good to the fledgling economy of Nigeria. So why I do not even cast a second glance at a chocolate wrapper?
I am now going to surprise the readers even more. I refrain from eating Gajar ka halwa and Shahi tukdas at valima ceremonies. I drool over them and withdraw like a heartbroken lover singing Teri galion may no ayenge sanam aaj ke baad (I would not loiter in your lanes ever again, my beloved). And I have observed more and more people following suit. Please note, I am excluding larger than life size begums from “people” surely.
Giving up things afflicts all ages for a variety of reasons. Young people, for instance, as all confused and incredulous parents know to their cost, give things up for reasons of conscience, like going to school, wearing clean clothes and avoiding conscription except cat wails and howls from the mushroom growth of new-fangled female ghazal singers who emulate St Sebastian’s scream when hit by the final arrow. I once asked a young person tactfully about his unhygienic clothes. He retaliated by accusing me of buying clothes made by exploited labour in the Third World, but himself was smoking a cigarette for which workers are paid just two rupees an hour.
Young married couples give things up for reasons of fashion. If dinner parties are out and buffet suppers are in, they give up dinner parties. Old people on low pensions, HBFC loan payments and high school fees to pay for children give things up for the sake of economy. In that context Qarz utaro, mulk sanvaro rhetoric appears quite superfluous and sanctimonious. Giving up leadership of a large troupe of delegations would comfortably pay for a small school in a village.
However, it is not until one gets to around my age that one starts to give up things for the heck of it or if one does not want to sound too Shylock-like, because one is old enough to please oneself or a belated supporter of “freedom of no choice”.
Take not going to cinemas, for example. I once enjoyed the cinemas. Nay I am the living witness to the arrival of cinema scope and 3D movies and was thrilled to the extent of fanatism. Rambo, Bob Willis, Bruce Lee and company killed my interest. Besides, cinemas have been demolished and electronic markets have replaced them and I am still computer illiterate. I have not even seen a decent fishing net and can not distantly comprehend the Internet. And what is their use? They do not even show my favourite ‘Fox’ or ‘Movietone’ news at the beginning of a show.
I have never given up some wares such as computer ware (hard, soft, or medium like toothbrushes), electric typewriters, digital watches and mobile/cellular telephone for the simple reason that I never took them up in the first place. But I imagine that a generation from now, probably sooner, there will be people boasting to their friends that they have given up their laptops. Hopefully, elitist ladies might follow suit by giving up their lapdogs. As for myself, I think I should be content with giving up giving things up.
At a certain age, it is easy to give up things that were once part and parcel of one’s personality
