A MARRIAGE ceremony marks the beginning of a couple’s new life. However, for the bride’s relatives, the wedding is often received with a variety of opinions. Some of them feel happy because of the fact that the event is replete with joyous moments, and some feel sad due to the fact that marriage also means the departure of a girl, the bride-to-be, from their family.
I was 12 years old when it was announced that my elder sister was going to get married. Her engagement made me excited and happy. The fact that she was going to become a bride excited me more than anything else. In the weeks that followed, I would see my sister talk (at least once a day) on the phone with a blushing face to her fiance (it wasn’t difficult to figure out who she was talking to). Soon after the engagement, my grandmother arrived at our place with her suitcase — she was going to stay with us till the wedding was over. My grandmother, mother and elder sister would go out for shopping to buy stuff that would contribute to dowry leaving me, and my other sisters (we’re four sisters including myself) at home to design our outfits and plan the dance sequences for the mehndi.
Pretty soon, a huge chest was placed in my room that was used to store whatever was bought for my elder sister. I hadn’t still fully realized that my sister was going to leave us. Although I shared her excitement and happiness completely, not all members of the family felt the same about marriage. My mother would busy herself with numerous tasks that had to be completed prior to the ceremony. She worked like a maniac. One of my sisters, who was intimate with the bride-to-be, remained quiet most of the time.
Helping out with the packing, cleaning, re-shifting of furniture, taking care of the guests who arrived at numerous dholkis made time pass by swiftly. Out of all the events, I clearly recall whatever happened on the wedding day.
The moment I saw my sister all decked up as a bride, it rendered me speechless. For some odd reason, the person dressed up in the bridal suit didn’t appear to be the person that I had known my entire life. She had turned into a stranger. It’s only when I talked to her that she sounded like my sister. It took a little while for me to get used to the make-up that she had put on. Her attire made me act different too. I sat up straight, smiled and tried to act and talk in a more sophisticated manner. I would also keep looking at the bride, not wanting to go away from her.
The other thing that I vividly remember about the wedding ceremony was when the Maulana solemnized the Nikah. I remember the voice of the Maulana and the strange silence in the marriage hall as everyone present listened to him. I also felt a strange silence within me. I felt like I was experiencing an important event that would change my life forever. It felt as if somehow the ceremony would put an end to my relationship with my sister and that now she was going to become a member of another person’s family.
Another distinct moment came when my sister’s in-laws started to take my sister through the hallway towards the car (that would take her to her ‘new’ home). I remember rushing to be with her one last time, only to be pushed rudely aside by the groom’s sisters. I watched her get in the car while my mother and sisters wiped their tears off their faces. My father had a funny look on his face as he watched his daughter leave the hall. I felt as though all of my emotions had come to a standstill and all I could do was smile and watch everything that was happening around my sister. At that moment I thought: I love her as much as everyone else in the family; why am I not crying?
It was the days that followed when I really felt sad about my sister’s departure. The house seemed eerily empty and everyone had become quiet. Every now and then I expected her to return to our house. As time passed by, we all became accustomed to living without her.
I wonder if I would cry when another sister of mine got married.
