A MONTH back my family and I had to shift to another city. Moving out generally means packing up everything and loading it on to a truck, saying goodbye to friends, making the children understand that life, after all, is temporary and that all of us will have to move out someday — so this is yet another temporary phase. Despite being a painful experience, over the years my children, my wife and myself have become used to shifting from one place to another owing to the nature of my job.
So, after settling down in our new home I went to the nearby telephone exchange to apply for a new telephone connection. The ordeal was spread over three weeks’ time. Therefore, I’ll prefer to give a day by day account.
Day 1: First stop, the customer’s services centre (as it is called), gave me a telephone application form with many an instruction (verbal and written).
Day 2: After having filled out the form and getting an NOC from my landlady and photocopies of her and my ID cards, I walked into the local telephone exchange near my residence. The person on duty refused to accept my documents and asked me to go to the office of the divisional engineer. Having wasted better part of my day running around for different errands I decided to postpone the procedure for a day.
Day 3: I donned my favourite jeans, walked into the office of the divisional engineer and presented my credentials, only to be told that the NOC was supposed to be printed on a stamp paper. Shoot, I said, but the PTCL website or the clerk on duty at the customer’s services centre never mentioned a stamp paper. “Sorry, but these are the rules,” I was curtly told. “Ok, what if I get you the NOC later, I mean in two days’ time?” I asked. “No way,” was the reply. “Any other way to avoid the stamp paper issue?”
“Yeah sure, why don’t you apply for the ‘easy connection’ facility?”
“Easy connection?” I asked. “You mean I don’t need an NOC for that?”
“No sir, just the application form and a copy of your ID card.”
And so I submitted my application. “What next?” I asked, and was told to come back in three days, since they had to send the documents to my local exchange so that they could prepare a feasibility report.
“But wouldn’t it be a lot simpler if everyone applied for a connection from their local exchange, that way the dreaded ‘feasibility report’ would come along with the application form, would save a couple of days for sure?” “Sorry, these are the rules,” is all I heard.
Day 7: Day six was holiday so I had to go there on day seven. But found that the local exchange had not replied so far. “No problem,” I said and decided to give them some more time.
Day 11: I felt lucky on the 11th day, or so I thought. After asking my boss to spare me for an hour I hurried towards the telephone office only to be greeted by a ‘prayer break’ sign hanging on the door (to the clerk’s office) and the ever unfriendly peon guarding the door. “What are you here for?” he asked.
I took out the receipt and told him I had applied for a telephone connection and was there to get my demand notice.
“No man, it’s prayer break,” he said, “come after an hour.”
An hour! That was more than my boss could bear, I thought. Couldn’t he help me? I asked, giving him my best smile. “Ok I’ll see,” he said and walked into the office. About five minutes later he came out saying that the local exchange could not find my address so no feasibility could be done.
“Why not, I mean it’s a simple address, on the main road, not difficult at all,” I said.
“Please talk to the clerk,” I said, and as I peeped in through the half ajar door I was surprised to find what must have been five or six clerks sitting around a table and merrily enjoying a meal of naan kebabs.
“Please tell me what to do?” I asked the band of brothers only to be told to go to my local area exchange and tell them where my house was. I decided to finish my quest for the telephone connection for that day.
Day 16: I begged my boss to let me go as I had to get a phone connection. So I went to the local exchange and was greeted by the SDO. He told me that the clerk at the office of the divisional engineer had actually goofed up the whole issue by not mentioning my land lady’s telephone number in the feasibility slip. That’s when I told him that I had written it on the application form. From then on it was a matter of minutes and he signed the feasibility report in front of my very eyes and told me to get the demand notice from the DE the next day as he was going to send the report to that office in an hour. I heaved a sigh of relief and happily drove to my office.
Day 18: I went to the DE’s office only to be told that the much-awaited report had not arrived as yet.
Day 20: I received my demand note from the DE’s office, submitted the money into the bank and came back to the DE’s office to resubmit the papers. This is where one of the office personnel said, “But no wait, we missed out something.”
I said, “What’s that?”
“Well you have to get this agreement form signed by two residents of your locality, and of course you have to attach copies of their ID cards (duly attested) and then you have to sign it yourself too.”
“Couldn’t you have given me this a little earlier?” I asked.
“Well, actually the clerk goofed up again.”
Day 22: After getting the agreement signed and attested I finally submitted it along with the demand notice at the same office.
“How many days will you take to install the telephone?” I asked.
“Well you see this is the easy connection facility, so it will be done in about three days’ time,” I was told.
By now I had a fair idea what three days in the official jargon meant, so I came back home, had a big lunch and went to sleep.
Day 26: It’s been many more than three days now and I am still waiting for the easy phone to be installed. Every time the door bell rings or the dog barks my heart starts to beat fast and I say a silent prayer hoping it is the lineman who has to install the phone. Perhaps I’m wrong and I’ll have to wait for some more days.
What’s really painful in this whole saga is that the top management of the telephone exchange is totally oblivious to what a commoner has to go through in order to get a phone connection. Maybe they prefer not to worry about it.
