THAT title may make many laugh once the subject matter is revealed. It’s about how women continue to be subservient to men.
See? Some of you laughed. Knew it. Well, if nothing else, there’s some twisted humour for you this Sunday.
Funny as some of you may have thought it to be — it’s true. Sure, women scream plenty. We argue. We carp. We nag. We object. We’re hardly silent. We’re, in fact, so violently vocal. Violent in our loud vocal grudges. We are. And I think that’s where we’re losing out.
See, I’m beginning to believe that we — the women — are going to lose out no matter what we do. When I was younger and in school, I was this ultra-quiet student. Someone who was terrified to answer a question even if I knew the right answer (which, I admit, wasn’t too often) — I just didn’t have the nerve to raise my hand and speak. Vocal capabilities: zero. Today, I think I walked down the extreme road. Where most people, who think they know me, see me as an ultra nasty and sarcastic person. Someone who’s far too blunt. Which I’m not? No, I probably am — although not in entirety. But they see me as just that. Be it family or friends or clients. “Sadia? She’s usually full of a doze of sarcasm and nastiness ...” Either way — quiet or outspoken — it’s a ‘lose out’ situation.
So I was thinking, tired that I am today of being labelled that nasty person, how does one win? How do you please people? Men seem to get away with so much more simply by way of gender. Women are often heard saying, “Men are like that ... Men do such things ... What do you expect? He’s a man! ...” And men huff and puff, but they still get away with it. They get away with actions and doings. Women? We just make a lot of noise and manage to achieve not much else.
Apologies to womankind. But let’s get real here. Let’s try to get some scores coming our way. Game points. Men have a low threshold for truth. They have an even lower threshold for being told the truth. As strong and tough as they may proclaim to be — they’re the first to recoil at sarcasm. They flinch like they were shot. Bullet the blue sky. They feign (or maybe they really do feel something) shock and anger. Ego bruised. Head bandaged. Hands reaching out to kill you ...
They act like it’s their inherent right to be the recipients of subservience. It’s only natural that others should be obedient. After all, they do so much. Work all day and earn that buck for the wife, kids, parents and the neighbourhood cats and dogs. Yes. Indeed they work hard. And for that, they constantly want a pat on the back. A non-stop thing. Pat pat pat. And more pat.
That’s a little tiresome, don’t you think? I mean, come on, either we shouldn’t have been given anything remotely close to a brain or they shouldn’t have married us or they shouldn’t have befriended us or, ultimately, they shouldn’t be so stunned when they see some kind of intelligent reaction coming from a woman!
Oh but ‘intelligent’ and ‘woman’ are two words you’ll rarely see a man put together. Never in succession. It’s almost a brain teaser: “Woman. Intelligent. Where is the connection?” They’ll never find it. So don’t hold your breath. Take that oxygen before they make that their right too ...
Hah. Sarcasm!
Anyway, deal with sarcasm and move on. So what is it that women get away with? You know, use the gender bias to our advantage and all. I can’t think of much. Other than perhaps mood swings that reign on a monthly basis. Other than that, there isn’t much. Where we can live our lives as we wish, do what we wish, act as we wish and get away with it scot-free. Just wave our hands in the air and say, “We’re women! What do you expect?” and walk on. There’s nothing. Nothing of great, life empowering importance.
And once that ‘nothing’ was discovered, the quiet mode was shed. The verbal attire was donned. And then it became a habit. Where to not speak what the mind thought, became an impossible task. Of course, certain levels of refrain were and are practised but the levels vary. Moods you see. Woman I am you see.
But even then, there’s no gain. Nothing to clutch. Nothing tangible. Nothing solid and concrete. It hit me yesterday (I’m a slow learner) that all the speaking up, the I-will-speak-the-truth-and-say-what’s-on-my-mind routine, the bluntness, the directness — it did nothing. Everything still happened as it wanted to. You know, zero impact.
Then I did some basic maths. Quiet mode: zero impact. Verbose mode: zero impact. The correct mathematical equation has obviously evaded me. Then I looked at friends, women friends and saw the same. Devastation! They spoke up, they stood their ground (supposedly) and fought for their ‘rights’ and the men listened and cowered and complained about how badly and unfairly they were being treated but even then — they continued to do exactly what they were doing.
Women? Feeling stupid when they realized just what I did yesterday. That hey, I may feel good when I do all that but it’s just drama as far as the men are concerned. And then to console oneself you land up saying the men-are-like-that thing. Mothers do that a lot — with their daughters. Where they shake their heads in infinite wisdom and say that that’s what life is like with men. “What can you do ... they’re like that..”
They’re like that? And that’s the excuse? The getaway line? “They’re like that?” That’s so unacceptable. That gender will rule the behaviour to such degrees. Sure, men are ‘like that’ when it comes to certain things like obsession with sports or whatever. But basic human traits — they’re human — not gender traits. But men have egos whereas women may have egos but that doesn’t matter. Men have to be made to feel important whereas a woman will have to fight to feel important and acknowledged. Men will just demand that. And get it. And in many cases, it’s the unspoken yet inscribed demand. This is inspiration for nausea ...
The point here? The point here is that although we may have been vocal and noisy — we’ve really been as effective as being silent. Construct the equation. I flunked maths — I can’t do it. If you can and when you can — share it.
It’s about time we found the right way to be silent. The way that works. If you know what I mean ...
