November 28, 2004

OUR society is very touchy about children. Issueless couples have to face the various and unnecessary comments of the people in their everyday life. It is a great deprivation to be childless in our society and people seek every type of help possible to acquire this blessing. Keeping this situation in view, the so-called utilitarian doctors and spiritual pundits remain busy in feathering their nest by exploiting childless couples.

The astounding thing is that, in our society, a thousand and one views have undergone no evolution during the course of many centuries. No one challenged their invalidity, no one felt the need for revising them, no one strived to modify them, and no one thought to replace them for a better point of view. Literally, no improvement has been witnessed in this regard. And now these views are so deep-rooted that a fresh approach is bound to incite criticism.

A lamentable fact is that people who love children only love them for their existence. In other words, we can say that they are eager only to bear them, but they are not keen on their upbringing. As a result of this blind aspiration, today millions of children are afflicted with adverse circumstances. The parents express their love towards them only by stamping kisses on their cheeks time and again, while true love requires many other things. They need a pure and pleasant environment as soon as they are born. Besides, they need good food for better nourishment, good treatment for a healthy body, schooling for a good education, and a good upbringing, for all of which the parents must have enough resources.

Generally, irrespective of this requisite, the parents produce children without planning and God is held responsible for their upbringing and sustenance. The parents remain busy from dawn to dusk to provide them the basic necessities of life. Even though they succeed to some extent, but in their struggle for survival they are unable to spare time for them. Hence, the training, guidance and supervision of children are totally ignored which creates a remarkable flaw in their personality, which is often attributed ignorantly to their fate by the parents.

In this regard man-made preparations are sometimes labelled as anti-religion. Owing to all this, the majority of children living in our society neither have good clothes nor comfortable shoes. Also, they don’t get a balanced diet or worldly guidance.

I know an issueless couple who, keeping these circumstances in view, decided not to produce children. They thought when there are already countless children deprived of basic necessities, it would be brutally imprudent to increase the number of such children. And instead of that, if they ever possess surplus resources, they should spend them for the betterment of already existing children. But whenever they presented this standpoint they were told that only one’s own children were one’s own. That is to say this benevolent idea had been condemned in favour of a selfish attitude. In addition, it is also said that your generation will come to an end after you, and furthermore that there will be no one to look after you in your old age.

These things could not convince them because they think that if you want to survive in others’ memories, it is the services to them and not the propagation of children which is needed. Besides, as far as assistance in old age is concerned, there is no guarantee that your offspring will serve you when you need them the most. And if they are willing to do this, this is again a pity as they may have to mar their youth in looking after their old parents instead of enjoying it.

This rationale of producing children was also selfish in their view. There must be some other arrangement of looking after the old, which must be more regular and reliable. They also said that they had never been in favour of producing children because society was afflicted with a host of problems and they did not want their offspring to be a part of it. And, anyway, the country was already overpopulated. In short, they did not find the current situation favourable for having children of their own and there was no way that they could provide a better environment for them.

This couple also realizes that the concern which their so-called well-wishers show for their yet-to-be-born child is mere hypocrisy. Thus, even though other people seem to be interested in the existence of your offspring, they never come to help them during any catastrophe because these are the very same people who do not even care for their own children.

It is the offspring who is responsible for obscuring their vision and prevents them from improving the lot of mankind. But all these arguments could not shield them from the harsh criticism of society they have to face day in and day out. They tell the people the reasons for the failure of family planning in the country and its implications. However, no one pays heed as their views are contrary to the current standpoint of the majority of society.

Such an issueless couple, who are in a sheer minority, thought that their freedom would not be curtailed in a child-free atmosphere, their living standard would be high, they would be free from all responsibilities and be able to lead a happy life. But it all turned out to be a dream. They are not safe from the marring effects of children because all of their relatives who, at times, on being fed up of their children send them to their home so as to get some peace of mind. Their relatives found this to be the best alternative whenever they needed some peaceful moments.

The issueless couple can not protest against the attitude of their relatives because they are already a target of the society in which they live. It already considers them anti-children and is not ready to hear their point of view. It is a Hobson’s choice for this couple as they have to take care of those children who are neglected by their own parents.

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