RABIA was divorced at the age of 30. To look after her three small children, she began to teach in a school. Two years later she remarried. Her friends pushed her to tie the nuptial knot, but her seven-year-old daughter refused to accept her mother’s second marriage and began hating her.
Sara, a 40-year-old widow, works for a private company. A major change came in her life when a colleague, five years younger than her, proposed to her. She resisted because she felt embarrassed. She was bugged by the fact that how would her family and relatives react if they came to know about the difference in their ages. She developed feelings for the colleague, but her family severely opposed the situation, and as a result she turned him down.
This is the story of almost every family. In our male-dominated society, the second marriage of a divorcee or widow is never appreciated. Instead, they are always condemned. Young women, especially middle-aged, hesitate to think of remarrying despite the fact that they harbour the need for a male partner.
Actually, we often think that women, particularly mothers, are meant to merely play the traditional role of looking after their family. Children develop a consuming passion for their mothers, as they know that they are always there to fulfil all their needs. Mothers assume the role of individuals whose aim in life is to make sure that the needs of their loved ones are met.
A mother has no life of her own. The reality is that apart from being a mother, she is a woman too, a human being, who has her own individuality and personality, who has feelings and longs for a life partner who could fulfil her physical and emotional desires. Her inner satisfaction is also essential to keep her soul alive. And there are some women who like to have a spouse who could provide financial support and social protection to their family.
How egoistic and self-centred are we? We consider the reaction of the children to their mother as extremely harsh and unsympathetic. They become jealous and possessive and would not accept any other person sharing their mother’s life. Society blames them as if they have committed a sin, marrying a man of their own choice. They are not doing any injustice to any other person; they are just trying to lead a good life. When our religion has allowed a Muslim woman to marry any man of her own choice, then who are we to object and force her to accept our decisions?
Consider the case of a doctor, Sheila, who married twice. Sheila’s first husband died seven years after their marriage. She had two daughters. Now she is 45 years old and her daughters have also grown up and are married. Life had become too miserable for her, as she could not live her life alone. Thus, she tied the nuptial knot with a businessman, facing severe opposition from her family and relatives.
Only a few women who are optimistic about their life take such daring steps as they want to live a contented life.
The women liberation movement has offered women the chance to live a life of their own choice. Apart from raising their families, they have a personal life to take care of, which is just as important. Their physical and emotional desire also needs to be satisfied.
In this respect, unless the thinking of the people is not altered for the better we cannot expect any positive change in our society.
