Children of our times need special care and inventive modes of training if they are to become better human beings
CHILDREN are impressionable and malleable creatures. They can be easily moulded into becoming fine human beings if their parents and teachers so desire. Just as it happens while watering a plant in order to make it grow into a towering tree, if the environment we provide to our children is congenial, it will effect their development positively. But, since over the years Pakistan, in general, and Karachi in particular, have gone through a lot of difficult times, our last two generations haven’t had the best of times to live.
However, in the future, hopefully, most Pakistani children will be stable, morally sound and law abiding adults and true Muslims, conveying to the world the much needed better image of the Muslims in modern times.
Parents, teachers, practising psychiatrists, psychologists and judges, who are known to be the pillars of society, should get a fair insight as to how vital it is for our children, adolescents and young men to have exemplary role models at every stage of their character development. And let the world know that Islam is a balanced and truly modern religion. It teaches humility and respects all religions and human values. Therefore, we, the Muslims, should not be labelled “fundamentalists” by the world.
Similarly, like the gardener who enjoys blossoming of flowers may reap the fruit of his plants in his lifetime, we too hope to reap the fruit of our labour. Thus parents and teachers in our society must provide proper training and guidance to our children.
By adopting correct measures and sincere efforts, we will InshaAllah become responsible and exemplary Muslims. We should not carry the shameful legacies and burdens of our past. Our politicians, who by any manner of means, have been involved in corrupt irresponsible practices over the years have tarnished the very image of Pakistan. As a gardener we should work hard in performing our duties and be alert as parents and teachers viz-a-viz our next generation.
Our society can play a vital role in character building of our future generation, provided we wish so and really try hard to learn from our past mistakes committed by our adults, particularly in the recent past.
I sincerely feel that we would not have lost the last two generations to bad habits and practices if we had performed our duties properly. As patriotic citizens we must set an example as individuals and guide our younger generations to the right path. I consider it our moral, ethnical, patriotic, personal and professional duty that we all must gain insight into these facts, and realize what Pakistan needs today.
Again, as an individual and a professional, practising psychiatrist I sincerely hope and pray that our country’s years of tarnished image can be improved. Let us not accept any illiterate, so-called Maulvi’s retorts and distorted teachings of Islam. We have heard and believed such people in the past, particularly recently that led to all vices that we have had to confront with.
All over the world, the need for re-learning parenting has been strongly recognized. In fact, in a lot of countries it’s being practised in an inventive way.
In this regard, the question that comes to mind is: why, as parents, teachers and individuals, we must re-learn parenting and why leading a balanced life is vital to our survival? The following are some responses:
1) In our generation, most parents have no time for their children. Their prime objective in life seems not to be proper nurturing, but to join the materialistic rat race. Often parents resort to illegal means to gain material benefits. They have hectic, jet-set lifestyles and love their children in such a way that it spoils them — like giving them handsome pocket money, providing them with designer clothes, expensive mobile phones, fancy cars (at times without a driving license). They fail to give quality time to their children.
For example, a parent of a disturbed adolescent, a drug addict’s mother, mentioned to me that her son gets Rs1,000 on a daily basis as pocket money and according to her that’s a reasonable amount. She said, kids needed to chill out at places like restaurants etc. That was pretty revelatory.
Also, there are cases where one can find VCDs, VCRs and computers in children’s bedrooms and nobody keeps a close eye on or monitor their daily activities.
The tradition of an entire family having dinner together has long gone, where children and parents used to share their daily experiences.
Parents must keep track of the behavioural changes occurring in their children. This will keep them informed whether their children have developed bad habits or not.
2) The information that the media these days throws up is detrimental to gullible children. This is something that must be monitored regularly.
3) Globalization has shrunk the world. We see less good and more evil around us. We are inundated with the everyday reports of violence and vulgarity. 4) As a Pakistani psychiatrist, I feel strongly that it is my duty to point out that a child cannot become a responsible adult and a patriotic citizen without its parents and teachers’ proper guidance and careful nurturing.
These days one can see psychiatrists busy treating children, adolescents and young men for drug addiction, behavioural disorders, anxiety and depressive illnesses. An old adage “feed your children with a golden spoon, but keep an eye on them like a lion” stands true today.
5) With respect to the subject under discussion, Pakistan is facing numerous problems; but the wide gap between the rich and the poor, the poor literacy rate and our indulgence in pursuit of luxury by hook or crook, make the situation worse.
The following are some suggestions to counter these vices in our society:
1) Parents themselves must set an example for their children by becoming good role models. For example, if the father is habituated to taking bribes, the child would know the easy way to earn money. Parents’ approach to life is bound to affect the new generation. Also, for example, if the father is an alcoholic, gambles and spends no quality time with the child, how can he stop the child from being a bad individual? Children emulate the characteristics of their parents, teachers and their peers.
2) Parents must teach children good manners, social etiquettes and inculcate in them a proper civic sense.
3) More often than not schools in Pakistan are overly crammed with students, which makes the teachers unable to handle most of them. These days, a major part of a child’s time is spent in schools and private tuition centres. Apart from formal education, it is the duty of teachers that they must not only impart formal education to the students, but also make them take part in constructive extracurricular activities, such as sports, essay writing and debate competitions.
4) In addition to all that, the media has a special role to play and though one does see a definite positive change coming about in TV and radio channels, the effects of violent movies is bound to inject violence in children.
5) Our society — neighbours, extended family, friends and peers — plays an important role in character building of our younger generation. So all those who contribute to a society must understand the need to be morally forthright and socially correct.
Children of our times need special care and inventive modes of training if they are to become better human beings
