From time immemorial, subordinates have been bullied or rudely dictated to by their superordinates of different dispositions. And there are ways to tackle them
A BOSS, male or female, is one of the harsh realities of life. Sure, some of us may be bosses too, but this piece is about the one you report to/succumb to the pressure of/have to humour (ie tolerate) and, most of the time have to tell exactly what s/he thinks of herself/himself (ie flatter).
To say that bosses come in all shapes and sizes is to state the obvious. I am concerned only with the boss vs subservient-underling relationship here, and will share with you some of my experiences. Because I am not planning on leaving this city, country or even the world itself in the near future, all my bosses, past and present, stand protected here. I have deliberately mixed traits and habits (though I prefer to call them quirks) at random — in other words, if you, my present or ex-boss are reading this, you will not find yourself here. I hope you can appreciate the friendly digs at my other bosses, for this is not about you at all. It’s more of a guidance to people entering the working world. After all, you are a reality no less than that hapless wo/man trying to do a job.
Bosses then — first of all, there is the boss who will be friendly. Beware. Friendships, true friendships, do not happen in the work environment. They can’t. At work, your boss wants to extract that extra pound of flesh for the pittance s/he is paying you; you, on the other hand, want to extract the least possible responsibility out of the same situation. Why should you kill yourself? Can any of us honestly say we’re truly being paid our worth? The friendship approach, then, is a trap. This boss is smart and has read the story about the competition between the sun and the wind on removing a man’s overcoat in the Ridout workbook my generation had to go through, with great attention. This person knows that a friendly approach stands to benefit her/him much, much more than the roukha or authoritarian approach. S/he has either absorbed a book on human psychology thoroughly or come into this world with a smile on the face and from day one has had everyone twisted round her/his finger.
Next is the likely-to-fly-off-the-handle boss. This one is a nuisance, as you can never predict when s/he will take off. This person can take a serious mistake on your part with understanding, but is likely to erupt if you come in five minutes late or cannot find a file in the blink of an eye. Novices are advised to read this individual’s body language. If the foot starts tapping or the fingers drumming or s/he reaches for her/his invaluable glasses, a pair dark enough to shame even the FBI wallahs, brace yourself. Your cannot run for cover (ie out of the room); you can, and should learn to mentally switch off your hearing and your sensibility/sensitivity. The act of bracing yourself can be compared to running to a fortified basement when a typhoon approaches. How do you mentally ‘tune out’? Think of something you really enjoy: music, a book, food, a scene, an outing — anything. Learn to think without your eyes or face showing emotion. This is tough but you can perfect it with practice. It’s like transcending time or living the ‘stream of consciousness’ in actuality. And yes, it is possible; after all, your boos never shows the emotion of pleasure, does s/he?
The boss who will not catch your eye — ever — is the one to watch out for. While this one has not yet thought of the FBI dark glasses, s/he will look at your feet (much to your acute discomfort if you are used to looking people in the eye and do not consider footwear a fetish). Somehow, my experience has been that the non-looker-in-the-eye is more lethal than the hid-the-eyes or periodically blow-the-top ones. Whether this person has learnt the art of undercutting you seriously while talking to your shoes, or shoes inspire this individual to greater heights of cunningness, I do not know. Just remain very alert and careful. It might be worth your while to start talking to shoes; if you are similarly inspired, do let me know. I for one have tried and failed.
The female boss who likes to talk about her domestic problems seems quite harmless and helpless. I have sat through such conversations wondering only one thing: who on earth promoted her? The problem with this boss is that she seems unable to manage her husband, children, life, or herself. She is also seemingly incapable of managing the office — which means that you, her confidant and sole support in life, have to do two jobs: yours and hers. She generally has chronic medical problem that has her run down most of the time. However, when her boss comes for a visit, the ailment does a miraculous withdrawal. Caution: the next morning the ailment will return with a vengeance, so the day you got off because of her recovery will be made up for many times over.
The boss who cannot write letters, work out a schedule for some important work or even deal with other juniors will most likely be the one who is also poor at maths. One boss I worked for two years never paid me the amount that was actually due. I was working on an hourly basis so the pay tended to vary every month. What was interesting was that not once, never ever in two years, did the error happen in my favour. It was always the boss who had the advantage of this mistake. Coupled with this is the boss in a private organization who finds parting with his money painful. This man (it is usually a man) will get a perverse pleasure by holding on to your salary till nearly the middle of the month. Perhaps the extra 10 or so days gains him profit of a few rupees by sitting in his account. While this man pays you as a favour, he has no problem in making vague statements about increasing the salary. These statements will always remain vague. The bosses who fall into this category will never change. I suggest you start looking around for another job if your boss suffers from this syndrome.
Finally, there is the boss with what I call ‘convenient amnesia’. You must never rely on this person’s words; chances that s/he will have forgotten are 1,000 per cent. The amnesia will happen about a promised pay raise, reduced workload or politics at work. Promises will be made but never kept. Should you confront this boss, you will be met with such a blank look that you will start doubting your own self. If you plan on climbing the ladder of success, practice this look (vacant or blank) every night in front of a mirror. It has to be perfected to the last facial muscle and is a must-have requirement for such a boss.
In the end, if you, my boss, feel I’ve taken a dig at you, please excuse me. I intend no malice. In fact, I invite you to write about painful subordinates like me. You too must have your say. If you want, you can even ask me to do the writing for you (as I have been doing with your reports). I promise I will hand over the copyright.
From time immemorial, subordinates have been bullied or rudely dictated to by their superordinates of different dispositions. And there are ways to tackle them
