Since time immemorial, people have been falling in love, yet the very meaning of the word still remains abstract
ASK a number of people about love or what that word means to them and you would notice a big difference in their responses. To some of them, love represents a magnetic attraction; it is a certain kind of emotional association between two persons that inflates their egos. To some other people, love is all about physical and mental compatibility between two persons, which makes them share their dreams, goals, and ambitions. And there are some individuals who think of love in terms of security. For them, to love is to know that someone is always there for you. However, there is a group of people who are of the view that love is a chaotic, emotionally draining and irrational state of mind. This implies that love remains an abstract concept.
This can also lead us to believe that love is nothing but an illusion, which blunts a human being’s power to perceive reality. On the other hand, the critics who question the very authenticity of love do not deny the aspect of physical attraction, passion and desire, which is more concrete than love itself.
Ironically, reality or illusion, revered or reproached, this complex emotion, which pervades our entire life, is the most important element of our everyday experiences. Love is one of the basic needs that determines the human behaviour. It also determines our level of happiness and mental health. The need for love is universal. We can never get enough of it, no matter how much we are already receiving — the more we have it, the more we want it.
The word ‘love’ is derived from the Sanskrit word, lubh which means desire. In Greek, lubh’s counterpart is eros, which is defined as passionate and intense desire for something. Eros relates to human love. It is based on some characteristics that one finds irresistible or pleasing, such as beauty. The enormity and intensity of emotions in eros creates chaos in mind and makes it prone to misjudgements. Eros is a kind of love in which lover is more interested in getting than giving. And if the person fails to get that satisfaction, love dies out — resentment and bitterness take its place.
In Greek literature, two other terms for love are, philia and agape, describing its different aspects. Philia is described as fondness for the other. In contrast to eros, philia is mutual sharing. In philia, there is a sense of togetherness. Indeed, it is based on the give and take process. In English, philia is closer to friendship, which can only thrive between those who posses similar kind of disposition, share interests and admire each other for their virtues. On the other hand, apage is unselfish love, not requiring reciprocity. It is the highest form of love. It desires good for the loved ones at any cost. In this kind of love, the lover does not demand any reciprocity. It is also defined as God’s love for man and man’s love for God.
Despite the fact that poets, writers and philosophers have time and again tried to resolve the riddle of love, the issue remains enigmatic. Researchers of interpersonal relations have observed that similarities and physical attraction plays an important role in drawing people towards each other. Some believe in the old dictum that ‘opposites attract’.
Al-Ghazzali, the great Persian philosopher and theologian, while discussing the nature of love in his great work Ihy-Ulum-Id-Din says, “A person is not always loved by being beautiful, but often the beauty of his knowledge or virtues attract the heart.” Furthermore he says, “Secret affinity between two souls can also make them fall in love.” This is what he called love at first sight.
Whatever the nature of love is or whatever it means, it remains the strongest bond between two persons. It can only be seen and felt by those sharing it. Though love has often been classified and categorized, it is not possible to confine it to one category.
All the already defined categories and definitions of love are so overlapped that it becomes hard to find out where one ends and the other begins. They are as complex as many other human feelings. No one can specify the kind of love a person feels for another person. One never knows when eros grows into philia and when philia merges with apage.
The many shades of the word love that spring to mind make it impossible to define it as one, single entity — having a concrete body, content, and shape. Like a river, it keeps on changing its course. It can also change its shape, its body and its content. Sometime it swells and overflows and sometimes dries out as if there was never water in it. It has different meaning for different people. It is as unpredictable as human nature. This intangible, awesome, and to some extent divine, emotion will always remain beyond the grasp of human mind. It is amorphous; and it is up to you to shape it according to your own imagination.
Since time immemorial, people have been falling in love, yet the very meaning of the word still remains abstract 
