FOR the last several decades, we have been facing a very serious problem of brain drain. It is far more dangerous than getting deprived of billions of dollars stacked away by our well-to-do people in banks abroad. It has deeply damaged our family life and our values, which we have always cherished and felt proud of. They say, the grass always looks greener on the other side of the fence and most of us are prepared to pay any price to get there. In most cases, it is a blind plunge and the results are usually not what one wishes for. I will mention here just a few instances from my personal experience to show how seriously the trend is undermining our social and cultural lives.
The most shocking story relates to a very dear friend whose happy family comprised one son and two daughters. The son was a brilliant student and after passing his local examinations got a scholarship for further studies at a prestigious American engineering university. After completing his studies he got a job in the US and started earning good amount of money, bought a house and decided to get married to his love interest in Pakistan with the consent of his father.
He also decided to settle down permanently abroad. My friend was a broad-minded person, who understood his son’s aspirations and did not object to his working and living abroad. He did not have any other options either and reconciled to the situation as it developed. My friend not only blessed the arrangements but he and his wife even went to the US some time later to spend a couple of months with their son and his family. Everything worked well while my friend was doing a job. However, the trouble started when he retired. One day, his wife, who was a diabetic, passed away in her sleep. Some time later my friend himself fell sick.
Ultimately, doctors told him that he was suffering from cancer. His daughters had been married and since the wife had already passed away he was left all alone to face his problems. I used to visit him on almost a daily basis and felt that he was missing his son very badly. I therefore wrote a letter to his son advising him to come, even for a few days, to see his ailing father. The boy did not come but made a phone call telling his father that he had an important project in hand and could not get away from his work. Then to add fuel to the fire, the boy offered that he could send his father whatever money the latter needed for his treatment. My friend felt very annoyed at his son’s response and scolded me for writing to him. He passed away a few days later without ever seeing his son again.
Another case, which shocked me no less, relates to a gentleman whom I have known for many years. He was a happily married person and had two sons, both of whom went to the US for higher. They also acquired jobs there and decided to live in the US permanently. The gentleman was in service and after retirement was persuaded by his sons to leave Pakistan for good and live with them. He sold the house, which he had built here with his lifetime savings, and proceeded with his wife to live with the sons. The sons were busy with their jobs and could not give much attention to the parents. They went to work very early in the morning and returned home late in the evening.
The parents saw their sons for a few hours only at the weekends. Within a few months the gentleman got fed up with the kind of life he was forced to live and decided that he and his wife should go back to Pakistan. His wife refused to accompany him and told the gentleman that she would like to live with her sons and her husband could go back, if he so desired. The man tried his best to persuade his wife, but she did not give in and the man ultimately returned to Pakistan alone.
Even after his return he kept on imploring his wife to come back and even threatened her that if she did not return he would get married again. She did not relent even then and ultimately the man found another woman. Thus a family, which was leading a happily married life, disintegrated.
Another friend, who was a civil servant and was working in a senior position, also found refuge in the US and lived there as a third rate citizen. He made a lot of money, got his sons and daughters settled and built a good house in a posh area of Karachi. He then took premature retirement, as he feared that some investigations were about to be launched against him. He took all his money with him and bought a laundry in a poor area of a big city in the US. These days he works there with his wife from 9am to 9pm in shifts and both of them say they are very happy.
On a recent visit to Pakistan his wife told us gleefully that her husband had also acquired the expertise to darn customers’ clothes and earns as much as a dollar for each button he has to sew. Unfortunately earning dollars has become the sole aim of our life and nothing else matters.
A gentleman who retired as a senior banker also had to pack up his bags and go and live with his only son abroad as his wife wished to be with their son no matter what. Although he was well provided for, he had many relations and friends here and could look forward to spending a comfortable life he had to abide by the wishes of his wife.
The boy was married, was holding a good job in the US and was not willing to come back to Pakistan. He persuaded his father to move to the land of opportunity and live with him. The son and daughter-in-law were both working and could not give the old couple any time except on weekends.
The old couple did not know anybody in the new place and had no visitors. They had nothing to do except to sit at home and wait. The gentleman soon got fed up and at the instance of his son decided to do a job. He therefore stared working as an attendant in a bookshop. On a recent visit he told me that he was very happy as he got the opportunity to read the books that he had always wished to read but could not find time to do so. These are just a few cases that show what brain drain is doing to us.
