There is nothing wrong with celebrating Father’s Day, provided children do not forget their obligations towards their parents
ON June 20, Father’s Day was celebrated across the globe. I came to know of it when my daughter presented me with a tie that day and wished me , ‘Happy Abbu Day’ as she hugged me. For most of us outside America, Father’s Day is a fairly new concept, but one that’s already been pushed heavily by those who stand to gain the most from it — greeting cards’ companies and gift manufacturers.
However, this encounter with my daughter pulled me into a deep state of introspection. Had I ever celebrated a day in honour of my much beloved father during his entire lifetime? Never! Probably because this concept was not there during those days, or I never felt the desire to tell my father how much I loved him. Frankly speaking, it was not needed, for the attitude of a son towards his father is enough to express how great is the love he has for him.
It is a general perception that parent-child relationships were much stronger in the 1950s and ‘60s, when my father was alive, than in present times. Is the recent fashion of celebrating Father’s Day, in any way, contributing towards making the institution of family and parenthood stronger? Certainly not. In fact, the situation is the other way around. It is just a ploy of the West to stimulate spending and deviate children from their duties and obligations towards their fathers.
In the late ‘70s and the early ‘80s, when Karachi was still known as the City of Lights, anniversary and greeting cards were sold only in certain book shops. The exception being the Eid season, when card stalls would emerge from nowhere on every sidewalk and footpath. This was the only time in the entire year when card-sellers had a field day. Then came the ‘90s, ushering in a very golden era for those in the card and flower business, which still continues. Valentine’s Day had suddenly become an intrinsic part of our urban culture. Card sales now began to spike many times in a year, once on the eve of Eid, followed by a number of such ‘days’.
In the past two to three years, the concept of Mother’s Day and Father’s Day has rapidly begun to find acceptance in our society. In the few trendy malls across the city, both these days are celebrated as major gala events. Shops are decorated with posters and banners, parents and shoppers are enticed with special bargains and discounts. Besides cards and flowers, the shelves of shops overflow with all manner of gift items for parents. What are the potential economic ramifications of this major social change and what does it augur for the crucial parent-child relationship? In the US, Mother’s Day and Father’s Day rank as the third and fourth largest card-selling occasions after Christmas and Valentine’s Day. According to the National Retail Federation, Mother’s Day generates a staggering amount of $10.4 billion in retail sales, while the slightly less popular Father’s Day manages a not-too-modest figure of $8 billion in sales, the top two blockbuster days being Christmas and Valentine’s Day. Surely, the impact of these two “days” becoming an integral part of our social milieu, on the economy, promises to be very positive, if the US market indicators are any guides. Do they indicate a positive change on the socio-cultural front as well?
When I was a child, every day was parent’s day. Their wish was the law in every household. Even economically independent, married sons and daughters, thought several times before crossing their parents. Most sons did not see their parents on weekends only, but every day at least once on the dinner table or dastarkhwaan, when the entire family sat down to eat together. Living far away from parents was an alien idea, unless the place of employment was a different city or country.
So, just what is the point of Father’s Day? Apparently it’s a day to, quite literally, honour fathers. But hang on a minute; shouldn’t we be ‘honouring our fathers ever day? Why do we need to have a special day singled out to show a parent how much we care? And why has the buying of gifts and cards come to be perceived as the only worthwhile way of showing love? Are we not capable of showing someone we love them without having it spelt out by a card in trite poem?
Having said that, I personally feel that there is nothing wrong in celebrating Mother’s Day or Father’s Day — in fact, it is exciting — provided children do not forget their obligations towards their parents. But Valentine’s Day has no place in our society.
