Whoever said that men are like children was right, but unfortunately the role model for these ‘children’ is Dennis the Menace!
MOST men say that women are a difficult topic of conversation. But to be exact, it is a man who is more difficult to understand. All of you out there might not agree, but these are the true facts of life. Ever recall mothers giving tips to daughters on how to handle their husbands? They think they are experts on the subject, but it is just to make themselves feel better. No one can be an expert on men for you can never tell what they are thinking at any given moment. The more you pamper them the more they get on your nerves. Whoever said that men are like children was right, but unfortunately he/she forgot to mention that the role model for these ‘children’ is Dennis the Menace!
My life revolves around three men who are the most important part of my life: my father, brother and my husband, each with a different and complex personality. My father is an introvert who mostly keeps to himself. It takes an effort and intelligence (which most men lack) to make him open up. On the contrary, my husband and brother are total party people (when they are not with me). Even after dealing with three different men, I still do not call myself an expert on men. Ever wondered why your father and husband act similar in certain situations, though the only thing they have in common is you? Well, it could be your imagination or could be that you adore them both so much that you mix them up a bit, like my husband often forgets my name and calls me by all sorts of different names unheard of in our part of the world. Strange, yet true! It is okay if they ignore you, but if you ignore them then you are in for a major fight. If you pay extra attention, that too is not acceptable to them.
It is an established fact that men are couch potatoes, they won’t get up to get a glass of water even if their life depends on it. And their one true love is, no doubt, the remote control (control freaks). When I got married, my husband was sweet enough to give me the side of the bed closer to the air-conditioner, saying that that side is cooler. I fell in love with him immediately. Who would have thought that men can be capable of such sensitivity? But it later dawned on me that he had planned it so that I was the one who had to get up at four in the morning to turn off the AC.
They are big chauvinists, so why don’t they believe in the old saying “ladies first”? They have to use the washroom first, sit in the car while you open the gate, not even bother to stand up when you enter the room, to top it all off, sit on the only available chair and except you to stand or better still, go get a chair for yourself. And there is more ... they go shopping with you and expect you to pay. They will make fun of your makeup, your SAT score and your accumulative GPA ... name it and they have a joke ready for it. You can never trust a man, for you never know when he might embarrass you in public like digging for gold at your best friend’s wedding.
Another thing that the whole male community shares is their undying love and affection for themselves. They stand in front of the mirror and look at their reflection for hours. I wonder what they find so fascinating about themselves. Is it their breath-taking beauty that leaves me dazzled or the sentences these men keep on reciting in their minds, the most popular of which are:
1) I am the king and you are the peasant 2) I am the sun (read son) round which the earth revolves 3) I am the perfect combination of beauty and brains 4) What does she see in Brad Pitt? 5) 10+35? Auughhhh! Why do I have to do such difficult additions? 6) Bachchi check kar yaar!
You can’t blame them for it is not their fault; it is after all an established fact that women are brainier than men. Don’t forget this country of high-class male chauvinists was twice ruled by a woman who used her brains to drain money out of the pockets of men.
Men are really confused, even about the rules they make for themselves. For instance, they can’t take it if another man looks at you, but they have no problem with you going to Saddar alone. They don’t like you talking to another man, but if that man is an electrician, plumber or mechanic, then it’s another story. Talk about double standards.
One major annoying habit that men have is picking up a book that you have been reading, opening any page and then reading it themselves. My father and brother suffer from this problem and now my husband is also a major case. Through the years I have learned that the only way to avoid it is to cover the book with brown paper, or more appropriate, don’t read in front of them. Another problem with men is their declining hairline. They come up with all sorts of new hairstyles to cover up their bald spots. Another major issue with my husband is me getting a cut, the hottest topic of our conversation from the day we got married. In a country where half the population is too poor to afford a decent meal, a cut is not a very debatable topic. But then again, men are confusing creatures and it is better to let them be for who can understand them?
Whoever said that men are like children was right, but unfortunately the role model for these ‘children’ is Dennis the Menace!
